Around the world in 240 days.

Well people, this is it. The last blog entry of our incredible, emotional, exploration of what the rest of the world has to offer. This entry include Peru, where Becky and Rich were with Sweed and myself and also mine and Sweed's final few weeks together in Brazil. Enjoy.

Another day, another gut wrecnching night bus back to La Paz. As soon as we arrived we hopped straight on another bus to Peru, Puno was our first stop after a ridiculously easy border crossing. I could've smuggled a tiger across without the blink of an eye.

Puno was a lovely little city. Sat on the cusp of Lake Titicaca, with narrow cobbled streets, designed with tourists in mind. Bars,
> restaurants and art in every direction. That wasn't the reason I dragged everyone there though. No way. It was for a much bigger
> reason. A more important purpose. Aliens! To be precise to visit 'The Gateway To The Gods' or better known as 'Hayu Marca'. I first became aware of this portal looking doorway carved into a giant rock face, when watching one of my Alien conspiracy programmes on the History channel. Basically it pre-dated the Incas and archeologists have no explanation how it got there. So no answer from the scientists. The theorists say that some locals believe it is a gateway. A gateway for higher beings to enter the earth. Like a star gate. There's even a small hexagonal hole in the centre of the doorway, some say this is the key hole to unlock the gateway. Online there even people who believe they can feel an 'energy' from the doorway and if you hum a range of tones whilst touching it, you will be transported to an alien world. I obviously didn't believe this, but the fact that no one can give a legitimate reason as to why and how it got there, made me feel really excited to be there. It's not touristy at all, even some of the locals had never even heard of it. Alex and Rich took this opportunity to try and spoil my fun saying it was just a stupid rock and there had to be a scientific explanation. Currently there was not and I like to think that there are some things that we still don't understand yet on this planet, who's to say this isn't one of them? Still we all had great pics taken and all (except Alex aka Mr Logic) hummed whilst touching it. Sadly non of us were teleported away. I would've loved it if it was me who was teleported away. Even if it meant leaving everyone behind for ever. To travel through space and find out that alien's exist is my ultimate dream. That and to have a croissant with Arsene Wenger and Thierry Henry. After a cab and a couple of bus rides in the local death traps, we were back in Puno.

The final day was spent haggling down prices for art (something which I've become particularly adept at) and also hopping on to a local moto bus towards a random place on the outskirts of Puno which Rich found. Apparently it was meant to have an epic view of Lake Titicaca, which Becky really wanted to see. After an hour on this bus (and being the only tourists) we realised how out in the sticks we were. A small town with a large hill, and dusty road with pigs patrolling was basically all that was there. We walked around for a while, until eventually we sat and had lunch on the look out point. Sadly it wasn't the epic view we anticipated, the lake was several miles away, although it was still a nice day.

Puno over, now for the main event of South America, the legendary, once in a life time, Machu Pichu. Night bus to Cuzco? Why not, we're night bus lords. Cuzco is very much a tourist city and why not? It contains one of the world's greatest attractions. Cobbled roads, old churches, numerous well run hostels and hundreds tour operators that you can ever dream ever. There are several options when it comes to visiting Machu Pichu, you can just get the train up there for day. You can do a two day trip, visiting a few arcgeological sites of the Incas and also their salt mines. You can even do a jungle trek where you spend some time hiking and riding before you reach Machu Pichu. The most illustrious way to do it is the Inca Trail. Four days of pain staking trekking at altitude up hill, taking a special trail and entering Machu Pichu from the unique entry point of the Sun Gate. Rich had his little heart set on the latter option. It's all he wanted. If the Inca Trail was a woman, he would want to have babies with it. He didn't stop banging on about it. Unfortunately for Mop Head this is an extremely popular tour and actually has to be booked months and months in advance. There was nothing we could do. Alex and I were aware of this, but didn't consider booking it at the beginning of our trip as we didn't want to be restricted with time constraints. In the end we booked the two day tour. Little trekking (I've done more than my fair share) and we still got to see a lot if Inca sites, Alex, Becky and myself were more than happy with this. Mop Head, well, he was extremely forlorn. And as Alex and Becky were staying at a different place to Rich and I, I had to put up with the mopey Mop Head all day! Luckily for Rich, I'm a nice guy and cracked some jokes and let him beat me at table tennis. Eventually he got over his sulk and started to get excited about the trip. A happy Rich is a lot more fun to irritate than a grumpy one.

Day one of the tour and the first stop was the salt mines of Cuzco. Nowhere near as impressive as Uyuni, but still impressive and a learning experience, I had never really heard of salt mining before this trip. Tiered platforms of salt crested a Lego bloke mountain, all full of salt. It looked cool. Sadly it tasted rank. Note to all, don't lick a salt mine. Second on the list was a sunken colosseum type place (I forget the name) in the green hills. Archeologists still debate whether this equally impressive design was built for agricultural reasons or entertainment. I think it may have been for both, it allowed for some awesome echoes but it was a complete nightmare to climb up and down at that altitude.

We spent a night in Agnes Caliante, a lovely little town on the edge of Machu Pichu and then got some shut eye. It was going to be an early start. Rich had me up at 5:00 so we could get the 5:30 bus to the entrance of Machu Pichu. We wanted to see the sunrise there. Alex and Becky joined us a couple of hours later. When we arrived through the snake like dirt track, we were not only met by twilight, but also by a lot of cloud cover. The sun had risen before we actually walked the 50minutes to up the mountain to the sun gate, but when we got there the view was truly remarkable. In all honesty I'm not to sure how to do it justice. I mean I've bigged up a lot of views from thus trip and all were true. But I don't have the vocal or literary skills to do Machu Pichu justice, as it was that much better. It is THE single most impressive thing I have ever seen. Rich had basically wet himself with excitement and it even got rid of my early morning mood. It's a series of mountains, which collectively look like a laying down face, on a back drop of the Amazon jungle. Add to that, there is a hugely impressive city built in to the mountain 100's of years old by the legendary Incas. Again, I don't think I'm doing it justice, so just make sure at some point in your life you go there. Put it on your bucket lust, ask for it for Christmas, or just leave the wife and kids for a week. It'll be the best money you've ever spent and the pictures are priceless. As usual we were creative with some catalogue posing, silly faces, sex positions and Spice girl jumps (we actually got told off for the jumps).A late bus back to Cuzco for a few hours sleep and then a new trip, north to the beautiful (low altitude) beaches of Mancora, Peru. It wasn't down the road, in fact it took us over 42 hours by bus to get there (with a short stop in Lima). Although this was the longest bus journey we had completed, it didn't feel that bad. The company we travelled with were called Tepsa and they even had wifi on the bus, incredible!

Now I loved Chile, adored Bolivia and flirted with south Peru, but I could not wait to spend six days lazing by a beach. No trekking, no altitude, no warm clothes and no early starts. Mancora is a lovely town which is essentially one long road of shops, bars, hostels and restaurants, running parallel to the long stretch of gorgeous beach. It only has one downfall, Mosquitos. They're little bastards out there and I practically got molested by them every night. We stayed in a hostel called Kokopelli and both Alex and I have rated in our top 5 hostels in the world. It has a really friendly staff, good prices, great food an awesome pool and smoking, hot bar maids. A key ingredient to running a successful hostel.

In between lazy days by the beach and by the pool, we soon made friends with the staff and the guests. There was Felipe,a young Peruvian (my twin), Chez a beautiful, young Aussie working as she travelled, Becks, a crazy Brit working there, Ashley from OC California baby, Lauren, another Pretty Aussie, and Pisco, the coolest little dog ever. We all chilled, along with some other people who I forget, drank and partied hard on the beach. Ring of fire was also introduced and many comical events occurred. My favourite was getting Rich to talk to a group of Spanish girls through his ass, Jim Carey style in Ace Venturer. A laugh for everyone. The highlight of Mancora would have to be 80's night. We all donned our neon gear, head bands and body paint. I asked Ashley (who couldn't understand the English accent) to paint a Pacman circuit on my back. She nailed it, well done OC! Drinks were flowing, smiles were everywhere as were those blasted Mosquitos. At of nowhere, a tattoo artist arrived at the hostel. Alex and I have been discussing getting one in memory of our epic adventure. We had a rough idea of what we wanted, so we went for it. Even though a little tipsy, I managed to draw the tattoo of Alex and I as stick men, leaning against the globe, showing all the countries we had travelled to. We also took the executive decision to have it on our ass cheek, opposite cheeks in fact, so when we stood together the tattoo's would be next to each other. That's a real bromance people.Inked up, we carried on partying and all of us had a wicked night and a real bonding session. It should be noted that I fell in a meter and a half hole behind the bar and nearly broke my leg. Two weeks later and it's still recovering! My own fault.

I also joined Chez and a few of the American girls for dinner round Ashley's place with her boyfriend Carlos. They cooked typical Peruvian food, Cevichebeing the highlight. It's raw fish soaked in lime juice and peppers. I detest fish, this I really liked. Well done Carlos. The rest of our time in Mancora was much of the same and I've definitely made some good friends that I will stay in touch with, Felipe, Ashley OC and Chez. Travel safe kids.

A night bus back to Lima and that draws the end to our adventures with Alex's mrs Becky and my new mate Rich. It was a really fun three weeks and I must say it was cool getting to bond with Becky, who is stealing my man and awesome getting to know Rich. Considering he's a spurs fan, has silly hair, brings hair straighteners travelling and gets way to close to me, he's actually a top guy who I've had a lot of fun with. We will definitely be hanging out and being horrible to each other for many years to come. He even did a really sweet thing for me at the airport. He knew my finances were tight, so pulled me to one side as Alex and Becky were smooching, put his arm around me, and whispered "this is for you Tas, take the last of my Peruvian money, you've given me the greatest three weeks of my life." At first I was a little freaked out but it was a really nice thing from a top bloke.

We waved them good bye and that was that. Back to Tas and Sweed, Pube Head and Yo Yo Boy, just the two of us for the last month of this epic journey. Alex and I stayed in Lima for a few extra days, as we had to wait for our flight to Sao Paulo. We spent much of the day time exploring the city, shopping for random bits of souvenirs for our friends and family and just enjoying the sun. The final few evenings in Lima were quite reserved, money was stretching very thin at this point so just one night at the hostel bar with Felipe and the Lima gang was had. Sorry, i forgot to mention that my twin (Felipe) also worked at the Lima hostel we stayed in, as did his lovely colleague Elanor. Lima was a cool city, the beach wasn't amazing, but there are plenty of restaurants to cater for large amounts of tourism. Alex's highlight of Lima would have to be Easter Sunday. We were out exploring the city at night, when we realised there were hundreds of people walking around, following someone, something. We squirmed to the front and then caught sight of it. Jesus! Well, a fake Jesus on a cross. South America is very religious. We didn't intend to get involved in the march, but Alex just wanted to get as close as he could. For us, this wasn't what we were really after. We were done with Peru. We wanted the Copacobana!

A night flight to Sao Paulo saw us arrive in Brazil at 4:00am, we had four hours to get to the other airport and fly to Rio. We were a little apprehensive at the possible commotion of this quick change of airports (which was my fault) but in reality it was very easy. Tired, hungry, but excited, we got a cab to our hostel in Botafogo, Rio. Stand Fast Hostel. I really enjoyed the quirky feel to the place and the owner Rosanna and her daughter Cloud were extremely hospitable. Great service at a great price (for Rio anyway). We soon befriended the workers there, my particular favourite was a young chap named Edivaldo. Well I say young, what I mean is, he looked young. Maybe about nineteen or twenty. After some investigation I find out that Edi is 31! Unbelievable. I think he's got the same thing that Benjamin Button had.

Anyhoo, moving on. The five days in Rio were amazing. I loved that city. There's nothing better than having a proper big city, with glorious beaches all around it. The Copacobana was evewn more beautiful than I imagined and the women, perfect. I think Sweed and I are just suckers for thong bikinis. I think they have magical powers. There were many other beaches in Rio, Ipuema is probably the most popular, but it can get busy (not a bad thing). The main highlight of Rio has got to be Christ of the Redeemer. The giant statue of Jesus, standing on the top of cliff looking down on Rio. As our plane approached the coastal city and circled around in it's decent, you could see this incredible, religious piece of art. It almost looked like a toy. The day we toured the city was quite interesting, but to be honest it was all about the big Jesus for us. Even though Alex and I do not beleive in religion at all (the Peru bit about Alex loving Jesus was obviously a joke for those who don't know him), seeing Christ of the Redeemer was something we really wanted to do. It was iconic. Once in a life time. A great achievement of man. It really is quite incredible, 30m high taking nearly six years to build. It's made of solid concrete and has a chapel in the base of the statue. It stands 710m above sea level and it has a spectacular view of the city, it's beaches, buildings and football stadiums. Alex and I did the touristy thing and took several pictures, replicating Jesus with his arms out. It really was awesome and we were blessed with an amazing day to see it. Our flamboyant tour guide mentioned that it hadn't been that nice weather in months. After the big Jesus, we were taken to Lapa, not only the place where Snoop's 'Beautiful' music video was shot, but also home to the legendary Lapa steps. A series of cobbled steps, decorated with broken tiles by an artist who had been working on it (and still is) for many years. Rio is full of art, really cool stuff too. Unfortunately I don't see many places like this in England. Happy slapping and riots is all we get (yes I'm depressed about being home).

We spent most evenings having drinks at the hostel, we had a good crowd and it was a nice place. Although one night Sweed and I ventured out to one of Lapa's street parties. I'm not sure what I expected, maybe dancing girls and everyone being friends with everyone, but that's not the experience we had. It seemed to be a lot of local people chatting and drinking in the street, but without it feeling 'brazilian'. Maybe my mental image had set me up for disappointment. Either way, Alex and I still had a lot of fun and plenty of drinks. Sadly it was really hard to make friends with the locals as our Portuguese was worse than our Spanish. The language barrier in Brazil was by far the toughest to crack. The big Jesus was great and all, but for me, Brazil means one thing, football. I loved seeing people playing on the beach, luckily we were fortunate enough to get to go to a game. I dragged Alex to go to see Boca Juniors versus Fluminese. A big game. South America's Champions League group stage. Boca won 2-0 and it was good to see the legendary blue and yellow of the Argentian superstars, but in all honesty the level and intensity of football was nothing in comparison to the EPL and European football.

That was all for Rio and pretty much Brazil, except for one night in Sao Paolo. We toured the sky scraping city, which had a London feel to it. Had dinner at a nice restaurant and I spent my last bit of cash on a football shirt, Santos (Neymar). That my friends was it. The last couple of days were quite low for us. No money, nothing to look forward to and knowing we would soon be parting ways after 222 days. We get aboard our 13th flight in seven and half months, and reflected back on our greatest memories, the amazing sights we had seen, the experiences we had shared and of course the epic people we had met, Anton, Rhi and Jade, Nick and Mark, Jose and Javier, our New Zealand gang, Harry, Kat and Holly, everyone! Even though we had to cut our trip short by three weeks, it was still incredible. Alex and I now have a whole host of places and people to go back and visit (maybe live).

We were greeted at Heathrow by my future brother in law, Marc who was helping me surprise my sister Jo who I have missed the most. Sadly we were also greeted by strong winds, traffic and horrific rain (I looked a bit of place in flip flops, shorts and t-shirt). Marc kindly dropped Alex off in Tooting so Alex could surprise Becky when she got back from work. I'm not really sure where to begin when talking about Alex. To have been through so many incredible experiences together, highs and lows (not too many lows actually), it just makes you closer to that person. Living with each other every single day, all day, I honestly don't think I could've done it with anyone else. I'm glad that I've got such an amazing, like minded best friend. for those of you who are wondering, we didn't argue once and in fact haven't in the nine years we've known each other.

I'll leave at this. Becky I'm really sorry, but if Alex was a hot girl, he'd be mine. It's been the best part of my life, so cheers Alex. Let's make sure we have many more adventures to come (we can even bring Becky and Mop Head - Mop Head just as a mascot though).

Back to where it began, at my sisters place in Putney, she was happy to see me, although was disappointed that Marc's 'surprise' wasn't a spa day. She'll get over it.

Around The World In 222 Days, A Tas and Sweed Story.

Thanks for reading, I've really enjoyed writing (re-living) the past 8 months with you.

Tas and Sweed.

xxx

I told you it wouldn't be long and here it is, Bolivia. This time it's not just with you're two favourite globe trotters, but also Alex's girlfriend Becky and her 30yr old cousin Richard. So for friends and family of the latter two, welcome. 

In the race to meet Becky in La Paz, Bolivia, we had to endure yet another over night bus (they were really messing with my spine, sleep pattern and mood by this point). After a morning change in Arica, Chile and nearly 24 hours later, we arrived in LaPaz. Alex's girlfriend Becky, was due to fly in with her cousin Rich that evening. Obviously the couple wanted to be together after six months of being apart, so Sweed had checked in to a hotel whilst I went for the standard budget hostel. Becky's cousin Rich would join me at the hostel, whilst Becky and Alex lived it up for a couple of nights. May I make you aware that this would be the first night in six months where Alex and I wouldn't be in the same hostel or at least seconds from each other. It was an emotional moment as I chilled in the rickety 'Crash and Bash' hostel by myself, pondering what my other half was up to. 

The plan was for Alex to go and meet our two new companions at the airport at 5:00am, if all went to plan then I would wake up with Rich (a complete stranger to me at this point) in the bunk next to me. Obviously it didn't go to plan. The two plonkers from Margate missed their connecting flight and got 'stuck' in Miami for a night. Quite convenient I think. Anyhoo, I woke to a message from Alex telling me all this. We spent this extra day getting organised, buying all of our bus tickets out of La Paz and then finding a suitable curry house and drinking establishment to have a proper boys night. We also played monopoly and spoke to Anna, Kat and Claire via skype which was as comical as ever. I do miss bullying those girls. Sweed then decided to mention that his hotel room not only had a double bed, but also a single bed. We made the executive decision that I would stay in the single bed that night and then go to the airport together to collect the Blake's. 

The moment the two love birds caught each others eyes was quite a romantic event. I told Alex he should do the whole running towards her thing and sweep her off her feet, instead he opted for the casual approach. I opted for the annoying friend approach, got my phone out and recorded the whole thing whilst poorly singing the first love song which entered my head, (I assumed all of you wanted to see the moment, that's why I filmed it, honest).

Before Alex and I left on this adventure and Becky said she would be coming out to meet us, I made one request. That she brought someone. I did not want to spend three weeks third wheeling it through south America. No way! I also requested she brought a hot girl. This she did not do. Instead I get Rich. Her older cousin. Identical in looks to Jay from the Inbetweeners and in personality to Karl Pilkington. Add to this that he's a die hard Tottenham fan and in my blood flows the red of Arsenal, it was going to be an interesting relationship. The pleasantries between myself and Rich must've lasted a few hours, at most. After that it was all banter, arguments, Rich being creepy, me be annoying and more banter. In fairness, Rich being there was a last minute decision and if it wasn't for him I would've been the third wheel. I'll give it to Becky though, she did well. On paper, Rich and I could've been a real disaster. But it wasn't. We actually put up with annoying each other really well, like a house on fire you might say. 

We had bus tickets booked for that night out of La Paz (it wasn't the most glamourous or entertaining city ever). The four of us spent the day time catching up, shopping around the local markets, and watching some of the sport. Richard unfortunately really struggled with the altitude (La Paz is the highest capital city on the planet) and spent a lot of the day looking like a dead person on a couch in the pub. Eventually he manned up, we ate some tuck and got on the night bus south to Uyuni, home of the legendary salt flats. The bus was less than desirable, as the roads further south were basically bumpy, dust highways. Sleeping was not going to take place, so sat along side my new bus buddy Mop Head (Rich), I continued to ask him every single detail about his life so far. It was sort of interesting. 

We arrived in Uyuni at 7:00am and typically it was a Sunday, so everywhere opened late. We dwindled around the 'Resident Evil' style, deserted town of Uyuni. Plenty of stray dogs and derelict buildings featured, as did the many tour companies, all selling the same gig - Salar de Uyuni (The salt flats of Uyuni tour). After having our fingers burnt enough times on this trip through lack of research, I decided to be proactive and check some reviews online. Hours later it was clear what was needed to get a successful tour, luck. The tour is basically a three day drive across the highest desert on planet earth, reaching heights of 15000ft (higher than many mountains and the same height at which we jumped out of a plane). You get put in a Jeep of six people and drive for hours across dangerous but beautiful terrain and stop at some breath taking scenery. Many of the reviews I had read all stated that their Bolivian driver was drunk, missed parts of the tour out, didn't speak English and had poor food prepared which made everyone ill. With positive and negative reviews written for basically all the companies, I decided to ignore them all and go with my gut, ask thorough questions and get a feel for the company and organisers. Eventually we were charmed by a guy. He worked for Andes Salt Tours and I can't give them a better recommendation. They gave us the standard parts of the tour, plus an English speaking guide and I even checked out the Jeeps and ensured the drivers were sober (if they weren't Sweed or I would drive). The food and the other members of our Jeep would be pot luck. And our luck was in. All of the food was cooked well and rather tasty considering the  lack of a kitchen. The people? A Dutch couple, Roger and Nanette, both of similar ages, both of similar minds. Chilled out and up for a laugh, there were no dramas happening here and we all got on really well, sharing stories and playing our iPod's through the Jeep's stereo thanks to our driver, Gonzalez. 

Right, the tour. All we knew about was the salt flats, but there was much more in store for us over the next three days and it would all be a surprise. The first port of call was the train graveyard. What? You don't think trains have a graveyard? Open your eyes. Of course they do, well, they do in Bolivia anyway. It was first opened up by the British as a legitimate rail line through western south America, but over the years it became unused and derelict. What remained were a few huge, industrial train carcasses and the rogue bit of track and train debris. All quite bizarre really, as it was the only thing in the desert for miles. Apparently the bolivians intended to clear it up at one point, but then realised how much revenue they could make from it through tourism. I'm not sure this would work with an old South West Train in England, although you'd probably be waiting for one just as long. Everyone on our tour took full advantage of the unique photo opportunities and clambered all over the wreckage to take the best and silliest photos. Despite being incredibly random, it was actually quite fun. A good start to the trip. 

Next we headed straight towards the Salt flats, stopping in a small village on the outskirts to learn how the local people survive on the salt (that sounds like they have a magic way to eat only salt, they don't, bare with me). The salt flat is the largest bed of salt on planet earth. It was essentially sea at one point, but due to the extreme altitude it has dried up. This leaves a thick crust of around thirty meters of pure, white, sparkling salt. The locals use this salt to build, make objects to sell and of course as a condiment. We were shown how they harvest it and the process they go through, which was all interesting (mostly because they use a ginormous axe which we all got to pose with). This of course was all a lead up to the main event, seeing the salt flats. Back in the Jeeps and off we went, five more minutes of dusty terrain and then there it was. The desert changed to the antarctic. Yellow sand to pure whiteness. Dust to White crust. It blinded the eyes and opened the mouths. Awe. Sheer amazingness. The sun pelted down as the convoy of Jeeps hurtled across the dried sea of salt. They have even built an entire hostel in the middle of the salt flats where we would be stopping for lunch. We sat, ate (where there was no salt for our food unbelievably) and took photos with the salt sculptures. It really was an amazing site and I know I've thrown the term 'alien planet' around a lot on this blog, but this really took the biscuit. We pondered what the people who discovered it must've thought. I mean at one point, two Bolivians must've been exploring the area, completely use to seeing the desert, sand, occasional cactus and what not. Then suddenly come across a field of pure white, as far as the eye can see and further. They must've been completely and utterly dumbfounded.  Maybe a little hesitant, possibly a little scared. I guess we'll never know, but what I do know is how we felt and we knew we were going to see it. We felt privileged to be there, to be standing on such a remarkable piece of our planet's wonders. It was one of those moments where the camera didn't do justice to what our eye's were witnessing. One of those moments where it was so amazing, you don't really appreciate it totally, or don't know how to more precisely. So we did what we do best. Take stupid pictures with toy dinosaurs, trainers and wine bottles, using different perspectives to make comical shots. It was definitely a giggle and provided plenty of captured memories. 

Day one's activities were pretty much wrapped up by that point and the convoy of Jeeps departed for our few hour drive even higher up in the desert, where we would be sleeping in a basic hostel in a minuscule village. We each were restricted to ten minute showers due to the lack of water, but this was sufficient. Rich was concerned about his lack of a hair drier and moppyness of his mop head. It was severely moppy. A simple but decent dinner was served and we were left with the rest of the evening to entertain ourselves, something Sweed and I were very adept at. We started off with some local liquor and introduced Becky, Mop Head, Roger and Nanette to our perfected version of Ring Of Fire. In no time there were many foreign eyes looking over at us eagerly. Soon enough there were ten of us, all from various parts of Europe, making prats out of each other. My particular favourite was when I made Ollof take the large table cloth outside with him and re-enter as a ghost. He performed well and we all chuckled accordingly. A good group bonding experience. 

After a night of trying to wake Rich up and annoy him in my drunken state, we were off out in the Jeeps again. Today would be 'lagoon day'. In all honestly we didn't really know much else about the tour, as the salt flats were the main attraction, so everything else was going to be a pleasant surprise. It's surprising how much the altitude affects you, but by this point we were now well over 15500ft. Every movement took triple the amount of energy. Every breath was harder than the last. A few meter walk would feel like a mile, climbing steps would feel like a marathon. It was the price we payed (literally £90) for the amazing scenery. I'll make it brief as it was quite repetitive, but the first half of the day was spent driving to two separate lagoons. Both with the ever impressive snow capped peaks behind. The water was a still mirror, allowing for some breath taking snaps. It was a really perfect place to sit and contemplate, to appreciate. Appreciate what we were doing and having the opportunity to do this, when the generation before us probably never had the opportunity to do it when they were our age. I know my parents didn't. I spent time thinking about the future, where I wanted to be for the rest of my life and how I wanted to spend it. I also thought about which super power I would choose if I could, ultimately I went for 'bending space and time'. Alex agreed it was the clear choice. 

The final stop of the day was going to be at flamingo lagoon. As the name suggests, it's a haven for the camp, pink birds. A rare opportunity to see them in the wild, we were excited. As we approached we became utterly bamboozled. In front of us we saw the lagoon, but something was wrong. Something our brains couldn't believe what our eyes were seeing. The lagoon was pink. The only explanation (from that distance) we could think of was that it must be entirely full of flamingos. There must've been millions! We got nearer, closer, right until we realised we were wrong. There were a few hundred flamingos, but they weren't the pink we could see. The lagoon was a blood coloured red. As if it was a crime seen for a murder of a giant octopus. This literally took our breath away. According to our guide, Gonzalo, it was this colour due to the minerals and vegetation in the ground. We werent expecting it and I can honestly say it was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen. We all just stood there and stared. Mop head went to town, got his paparazzi camera out and stalked the flamingos. Utter awesomeness. 

As we left the lagoon, one of my favourite things happened, there was a thunder storm. At first we were at a distance where it just looked cool, but in no time at all we weed right in the thick of it. Eventually our driver pulled over so we could get some snaps. I really wanted to see a fork of lightning as I missed the first two. Then it happened. A thunderous bolt of lightning shot down from the black sky, as if Zeus himself was aiming for us. It landed less than 50m from us. AMAZING! That was definitely a warning shot to move on though.      The hostel we stayed in that night was really cold, but the four of us and Roger and Nanette had a cosy enough room and got some shut eye. It was going to be an early start. 

4:00am and we were up and in the Jeep. Heading to another geyser valley, this time deep in the Bolivian desert. It was pretty much pitch black when we arrived, with little sign of the sun rising. This meant we had to tread carefully. Not only were the pillars of scalding hot steam, erupting from the crust beneath our feet, but also bubbling, volcanic magma, cooking away like a witches cauldron. You were a goner if you weren't careful. People died here (not when we were there, but at some point). Again, absolutely freezing my gentlemen parts off, I was moany and Rich had to deal with my high maintenance. This was soon rectified by a dip in the gorgeous hot pool, another natural hot spring. This one was ten times better than the one in Chile, no one wanted to leave. Eventually we were warm, dry and happy. I could now stop moaning and focus my energy on irritating mop head. We had a six hour car ride to the Chilean border to drop off Roger and Nanette and then back to Uyuni, where the tour would end. After dropping off the Dutch couple, Ollof and Yogi were in our vehicle and had to endure hours of us singing along to our favourite Disney songs. Obviously I nailed 'A Whole New World' and even our driver knew 'Hakuna Matata'. Good times and an epic tour. Very successful, well done Gonzalo and Andes Salt Tours. 

That's the end of Bolivia and part one with Becky and Rich. It won't be long until Peru will be up, I hope you're all appreciating that I'm splitting the blog entries up in to small sizes. You can thank me later, or write a comment, no one ever comments!

Ciao ciao,

Tas, Sweed, Becky and Mop Head

Hola mi amigos et buenos dias. 
(Hello my friends and good morning).

So we've come to that time, the point no one wanted to happen, the beginning of the end, the final straight, the last leg. South America is our last stop on adventure, but don't get too melancholy just yet. There's a whole host of happenings to update you jolly folks on. 

As mentioned in the last blog, we had travelled back in time 16 hours, leaving us thoroughly jet-lagged and feeling rather weathered. After the mundane chore of waiting a life time for our luggage, we were greeted at the airport by the happy face of Javier (one of the guys we befriended in Australia). Javier (aka Sampras due to his looks) and Jose had offered to put us up for a few nights and show us around their city, Santiago. Javier was even holding a large sign saying 'Tas and Alex' as we arrived, we thoroughly enjoyed this. Along with Javier, we were picked up by his friend Alvaro. A lovely guy who studied tourism and was keen to put his excellent English to use (this was fortunate for us as we knew no Spanish what so ever). Alvaro drove us through the city towards Javier's house, giving us a great view of the Chilean capital. Quite a large city, with many large buildings and even larger ones being constructed (the largest building in South America resides here and is near completion). The city is surrounded by large mountains, giving it some truly epic views, however this does have one major draw back. Due to the non-stop hustle and bustle of urban life and the city being surrounded by mountains, Santiago has a continuous, thick layer of smog, literally sat on top of the city. It's quite sad really as it impacts not only some of the views but also the health. Children are often not allowed to take part in sports due to the affects of pollution. I'll come back to the fog later on. 

Perhaps it was the fact that we had met so many people in Australia or maybe it was because so much had happened in New Zealand, but Alex and I had totally forgotten how old Jose and Javier were. Naturally thinking they were about 23/24yrs old, we were a little surprised when they said 19. This made little difference though as they were not your typical 19 yr olds and despite mine and Sweed's (more so Sweed's) advancing years, we all got on like a house on fire (just like in Australia). The next we didn't know at all. We soon learnt that the gulf in classes in Chile is pretty large. You're either struggling to get by and living in near poverty or you're pretty well off. Sampras and Jose were the latter. We arrived at Javier's place and were over awed by his house. It was something from grand designs (no exaggerations). Monumental White stone walls with large windows all over the house allowing you to see through to different rooms and gardens. Many pieces of abstract art and sculptures everywhere, a maid to cook and clean, each bedroom (there were five) had it's own bath room. There was a music room, which was sound proofed, a ping pong room, a DVD room and also a study. Add to that the gorgeous swimming pool on a back drop of a mountain and Alex and I were massively impressed. For us, this was the high life. Many people who lived like this in the UK would let you know it, act as if they were better than you. But these two guys were the polar opposite. Completely grounded. Really great guys. Obviously Alex and I were straight in the pool after Carmela (the maid) rustled up some Chilean lunch. We chilled, sunbathed and waited for Jose to arrive before sitting down for dinner with Javier, his three younger brothers (Sebastian, Paulo and Mathias), his lovely mother Paula (who could easily pass as his sister) and his friendly dad ( I forget his name because Javier kept trying to get me to call him 'baldy'-obviously I didn't). Considering their son had met us for a couple of weeks on holiday, they were most welcoming to let two English men stay in their beautiful house.

Now Chile is very much a religious country, with many Jesus statues in and outside houses. Being aware if this, I made note to watch out for any religious rituals at dinner (I was expecting someone to say a prayer or something). Being the great comedians they are, the whole family decided to put napkins on their head, befuddled by this act I copied as I didn't want to offend anyone. I think Alex was a little more sceptical and was still debating whether to copy. They all burst out in to laughs and made me feel an utter prat! I can appreciate a good practical joke, even if it's at my expense (just you wait until you come to England you two). We had a lovely three course dinner and chatted with his parents about our lives and travels. After dinner we chilled with the brothers, I befriended the youngest Paulo, who's eleven and played with his Nerf guns with him. Yes typical, I know. Sampras and Jose both had uni the following day, so they dropped us off in the city for us to look about and book our bus ticket to the North. After a few hours Jose and his friend Nicholas came to meet us and took us to an authentic Chilean lunch house. It was rammed with locals, which is always a great sign. I randomly picked something meat related and was delighted with the result. Six little old ladies stood, cooking in view of everyone. Mountains of beef and chicken being marinated and cooked, my senses were awash with succulent smells and flavours.  My sandwich was bursting with strips of salted beef, with copious amounts of mayonnaise, guacamole and chilli sauce. It was delicious, even writing about it is making my mouth water. Jose took us back to Javier's place to chill (still jet lagged) and wait for Sampras to return from uni. 

That evening the boys decided to take us along to a friendly game of seven-a-side football with their friends. The younger, nineteen year old legs did have us chasing shadows at times, but we both held our own, Alex with a string of good saves and myself with a few marauding runs on either flank. I found it really interesting watching how they played a friendly game together. It was all very, well friendly. In England if someone goes down with a knock we always play on, stopping for a foul is almost un heard of. And helping someone up? Behave. In Chile it was the opposite. Lots of stops for free kicks and many people surrounding the guy on the floor who I had just accidentally taken out. I guess that's why their better suited to La Liga than the Prem. I'll also point out how different our cultures are just in terms of how they interact with each other. The Chilean guys always greeted each other with a high five and a hug and if you met a girl it would always be a hug and a kiss on the cheek. All very friendly. Where as us English are slightly different. Just banter. Always banter. 

Exhausted after footy, the night was not over. Sampras and Jose decided to take to another swank pad where their friend was having a little house party. We didn't arrive until gone midnight, but within an hour we had had our fair share of the local drink 'pisco'. The locals rave about it, in reality it's just dark rum. The young nineteen year olds will learn one day that it's not the only drink in the world. We were treated almost as special guests and everyone wanted to practice their English skills with us. I didn't mind this at all as I found myself surrounded by five, Chilean, eighteen year old girls, all of whom were fortunate enough to be extremely easy on the eye.  Daniela's English was particularly impressive and during a long drunken discussion I think I agreed to show her around London when she travels there later this year. We made it back to Javier's place by around 5:30am and were all in pretty bad shape, particularly Alex who again, had fallen asleep in a chair at the house party. 

In the morning we were all feeling pretty ropey, but last night Jose, Javier, their friends, Alex and I had decided to climb the local mountain which looked down on the city of Santiago. Non of them had done it before and they used us tourists as an excuse to do something 'touristy'. Alex decided not to join us as he was feeling too hungover. The rest of us congregated at the supermarket to stock up on supplies before embarking on our mission. 

The sun was unforgiving, as was the hangover. But the once in a life time opportunity was enough to spur me on.  Collectively there were about fifteen of us climbing the dusty, loose gravelled mountain. Alvaro was a particular sweaty mess, but conversations with him and the talented footballer Eduardo, made the climb a bit easier.

After an hour I was really struggling. We all stopped to gain our composure and after another forty minutes we had finally reached the summit. The view was incredible. Three hundred and sixty degrees of sun, blue sky, mountains and a bustling city. The lads and I ate our well deserved picnic and they pointed out their schools, major landmarks and the many golf courses. From that height you had a depressing view of the layer of smog sat above Santiago, which I previously mentioned. It was literally a blanket sat over the city. After a few hundred meters the smog stopped and air was clean and clear. A sad reality of man polluting the planet.

The descent was a little more arduous  than it should've been. In our haste to the top, no one really payed attention to the route, therefore leaving us lost on numerous occasions. Still, we eventually made it back to the cars and in total it took us about four hours to make it up and back to the base. Hangover well and truly gone, legs in agony and tired doesn't even come close to how I was feeling. Although I did feel a great deal of pride in completing the task. 

We ventured back to Jose's house to find that Alex hadn't moved out of bed all day. I think the maid was concerned he was dead. Fortunately, he was fine, bar a self inflicted head ache. That evening was to be our final night in Santiago with our young friends and Jose insisted we all stay at his place. 

If Javier's place was impressive, then Jose's was ridiculous. All the class, art, modernism and swank of Javier's place, but it also had a ruddy 36 hole golf course next to his back garden. There were literally golf balls in his pool. His dad even had his own golf buggy in the drive way. Boy did I want to stay there for a while. We had some food, chilled out for a bit before everyone crashed out. It was a good nights sleep, little did we know it would be the last one of those for a while. After a lay in, a day in the city and saying our farewells to our awesome new friends, Javier and Jose, we departed Santiago, on course for north Chile, Sanpedro de Atacama. 
If the two boys ever make it to England we'll definitely return the hospitality, maybe not the luxury, but definitely the hospitality. 

Now we have travelled on buses a great deal in the last six months or so, but we now had four days to travel 2000 miles to meet Alex's girlfriend Becky and her cousin Rich in La Paz, Bolivia. Our first stint was a 24 hour bus ride to San Pedro. Unfortunately it wasn't the smoothest journey. After a night on the bus, we broke down around mid afternoon. With no Spanish in our arsenal, asking what the problem was, proved difficult. It turns out they treated us tourists like crap and the workers of TurBus put all the locals on another bus, leaving Alex and I stranded in the desert with a Russian woman, a random guy and the two drivers. After several hours of waiting around, I was more than irritated. I gave the workers a piece of my mind and decided to try my luck at hitch hiking. After twenty minutes of standing on the side of the road with my thumb up (looking like a prat), we got lucky. A friendly local let us hop in his lorry and drove us a few hours north towards Antofagasta. It turns out he wasn't going the whole way there and dropped us off about half an hour away (still in the desert). By this point we were cursing our luck and it was definitely a low point of our adventure. Another hour passed of attempted hitch hiking and our luck was in again. A really friendly chap named Victor stopped to give us a ride on his way home from work and he even spoke a little English. We loaded the car up and headed to Antofagasta where we would have a chance of catching the last bus to Sanpedro. It wasn't going to happen. 

As victor drove us along the winding roads it was clear that there was little speed restrictions, as the enormous trucks that regularly used this road flew around corners at stupidly high speeds. Victor was a good driver, thankfully. Then something terrible happened. Something I never want to experience again. As we approached a corner Victor slowed down as something didn't seem right, there was smoke creeping around the corner and lots of it. We exited the car and found an enormous accident. A large lorry had lost control and smashed straight in to a small bus full of Chilean workers. The driver of the lorry escaped unscathed, but the people in the bus were not so lucky. Wails of pain and fright came from the mangled bus. Victor, Alex and myself were first on scene and tried to help people out of the windows, although this proved difficult with no Spanish. The bus was awash with blood, but as more help arrived and more people escaped the wreckage, it was pleasing to see that the majority of the injuries seemed minor. Well, apart from the driver of the bus. The poor man was trapped in the bus, his legs squashed by the impact, his screams were non stop, however I knew from life-guard training that a screaming casualty is always better off than a silent one. He would be ok. This whole episode took well over two hours and once the authorities arrived with their clipboards (yes that's what the police were holding as they arrived), we got back in the car and Victor took us to Antofagasta. Victor really was a hero that day, well done my new friend. His kind heartedness didn't end there. As Alex and I were completely stranded, he helped us find a hostel and even spoke to the owner in Spanish for us. Thanks for everything Victor and I hope you didn't get in too much trouble with the wife for being so late. 

Twenty six, stressful hours later and to say we were ready for bed was an understatement. We knew it was an early start as we were still two hundred miles from our destination, Sanpedro de atacama. 

Being a day behind schedule, we decided to wake before sunrise and get the hell out of Antofagasta. With the help of a friendly tramp we found the bus depot and arrived in Sanpedro by mid afternoon. A pleasant looking lady picked us up and escorted us back to her hostel on the edge of town, where we would reside for the evening. Sanpedro really was a lovely little place. It was literally in the middle of nowhere. A small, quaint town stuck out in the driest desert in the world, feasting on global tourists. It was like we were visiting an old western movie set. Dry, dusty streets with wooden, swing doors on every entrance. We shopped around for a reputable travel agency and booked on for the two tours we wanted to do; the legendary 'lunar valley' and the early morning, geyser expedition. Lunar Valley is duly named as this national park really is out of this world. The driest desert in the world consists of razor sharp, canyons and spear like rocks, arched in a row as if a prehistoric beast rested here. It should be noted that dinosaur fossils were often found in these parts at one point. The rocks, canyons and ever changing sand dunes also had a strange red/pink tinge to them and at sunset it really did feel like you were lost on another planet. The eyes were impressed, again. 

The tour finished and we headed back to Sanpedro at 8:30. It was dark by this point and the night sky was a feast for the eyes. With little light pollution, the stars had never seemed so bright. As I have a slight fascination for space and Alex also enjoys it, we decided to go on a tour to a space observatory 2 hours south in the Atacama desert. A French astrologist waited for our arrival and we would look through giant telescopes to see stars, binary stars, nebular, galaxies, the edge of our Milky-way and even Saturn and Jupiter. To say I was excited was a massive understatement. So you can imagine my angst when on our way to the desert, the tour guide at the front of the bus gets a phone call saying the tour is cancelled as it's too cloudy. There wasn't a ruddy cloud in the sky! I was spitting feathers. Completely out of control, we just had to sulk and put up with it. The silver lining was that we were now able to get an early night as we were being picked up at 4:00 am (ridiculous I know) to go on our geyser valley tour the following morning. 

With 5 hours shut eye, we reluctantly awoke from our slumber for our final tour of Sanpedro. The terrain to the geysers was difficult for the drivers to navigate through, sinking sand and no daylight weren't a good combination. Add to this the freezing temperature due to high altitude and it was a long journey, especially as we got stuck at one point and had to get out and push. Eventually we saw them. The faint glare of the rising sun caught the edge of the bellowing columns of steam. Yet again it looked like an alien planet. Something from a Star Trek mission. I wish I had that costume. As we were guided through the sulphuric smells, and scalding eruptions, we learned about the ever changing landscape and how we were basically stood on a volcano. I didn't feel like one, I was unbelievably cold and it was at that point I realised I wasn't prepared for this altitude malarky. Fortunately, we were soon to be warmed up though, a short distance away was the natural hot springs. A pool of volcanic heated water. We ventured over to a near bye rock when we were greeted by our most dramatic sunrise yet. The deep chasm of the deceased volcano was surrounded by snow tipped mountains, all of whom stood over us and denied us the warmth of the sun. Eventually the celestial ball of life broke through as we stripped off down to our swimmers and jumped in the hot pool, (it was quite a moment, no one said anything but the looks on our faces all said 'this is amazing'). If I'm honest, it was a little too hot if anything (I'm British, I moan, ok). It did warm us up a treat, however it did also emphasise how ridiculously cold it was once you were out. All of this and it was only just 9:00am. Our driver rustled up breakfast, a delicious combination of stale, bread rolls and jam, we huddled together in our little tour group, ate and got back in the bus. A good start to an early morning. 

An hour later and the shivering cold was a distant memory, we were heading for a small village for a quick look around, but not before two stops for photos. One stop being in front of a still, crystal lake with a backdrop of the Andes mountains (honestly, I just don't get bored of staring at this wonder of nature). The second stop was a favourite of mine and Alex's, if I were to ask you what's the first thing you think of when the word 'desert' is mentioned? Most people (myself and Sweed included) would always say 'cactus'! To our glee there was an endless field of them, real cliche cacti. Obviously Alex and I did the only natural thing, stood either side of the biggest cacti, holding our arms up to mimic the giant plant. We were suitably chuffed with ourselves. 

The village was cute. Small, peaceful and very basic apart from the church which looked slightly audacious in comparison to it's humble surroundings. I must admit I payed little attention to the tour at this point and found a suitable arrangement of rocks where I could catch twenty minutes of shut eye in the sun. Time well spent. 

Despite the stupid o'clock start it was a really successful tour and I must say a special thanks to our English speaking tour guide Andrea, she was also pretty hot which did no harm. Our bus out of Sanpedro wasn't until the evening so Sweed and I spent the day basking in the sun, reading our books and chilling out with the entertaining stray dogs of Chile's desert. Our bus to Bolivia was near, so that my friends was Chile.

Watch this space for Bolivia and Peru, it won't be long until I've finished it x

Tas and Sweed

Ciao ciao

Hello, hello, or as we say in New Zealand, 'Kia Ora' to all our friends, family and psycho stalkers. 

Welcome back to your regular read of mine and Sweed's adventures around the world. This will be the furthest travelling post, coming from the other side of the world in New Zealand. As mentioned in a previous post, our NZ adventure would be aboard the famous Kiwi Bus. 

We arrived into the eerie city of Christchurch, infamous for last years earthquake tragedy which literally shook the nation. It was quiet, almost too quiet. Empty streets, closed off roads and derelict buildings. I can best describe it as a scene from a horror movie. Paper bags crawling across roads, traffic lights needlessly changing colour as if nothing had changed and  then there was us. Just walking the streets as if we were waiting for something to go wrong. Luckily it didn't and we made it to our hostel relatively easily. Phew. Not a great deal went on during the day, Sweed had his hair snipped, we both purchased books and food. In need of some decent kip we went to bed ready to leave in the morning. Suddenly we were in for a shock! It must've been around 1:00am, I woke up with a sense of unease. The bunk bed on which i rested shook me like a british nanny, quite vigorously in fact. My initial reaction was that the random German guy on the bunk below had got lucky, either that or was being disgusting by himself. I realised that as I looked across at Sweed he too was shaking, everything was shaking. What felt like several minutes was probably more like 20 seconds, but it was only after it had stopped we realised we had just experienced an earth quake. Or to be precise, an after shock from last years mayhem. Some of you will know that 'experiencing an earthquake' is on my bucket list. I just love nature's power and I can now tick it off. But in hindsight I regret adding it on to my list. Seeing the devastation it has caused to this once beautiful city, the 180 lives lost and the amount of time it will take for this city to reclaim it's former glory, really does put things into perspective. No one should have to experience nature's power at that cost. Doom and gloom over. You want the real story of our Kiwi experience. And that's definitely what it was, an experience. 

Our first stop was Kaikoura, a small sea side town famous for it's Seals, Dolphins and Sperm Whales. With quite an empty bus and a late arrival, there wasn't a great deal to do as we were leaving the next day. We cooked and chilled in the lounge where we started chatting to a group of girls. Lauren, Punam and  Priyal, three lovely ladies from the UK and boy could they talk. We chatted about our plans and adventures and were soon joined by three more companions who entered the room. In strolled big John, a tall lad with Sideshow Bob hair, Kerryn who would later be called Lenny (due to his resemblance to Lenny Henry) both from the UK and last of all Ruben, 34yrs old from Spain who would take the name Spaniard (like Russell Crow from Gladiator). Little did we know at the time, but the eight of us would form the starting blocks of a large group of great friends. 

Morning came and we moved on to the modest town of Kaiteritiri, situated on the north western side of the south island. A lovely sea-side town, but with little to offer apart from the beach. Unfortunately for us we weren't blessed with the greatest weather, which meant we were bored. Oh dear. To add to this Kiwi Experience had made a massive mistake. As it was peak season each and every bus was fully booked. As newbies to the tour we weren't clued up to the procedure, but we soon learned that you need to booked on to all of your pickup points well in advance. At this point we weren't booked onto any buses and after phoning Kiwi experience they told us that there were no spaces on a bus for a week! We were not happy and we weren't alone. There was about forty people in Kaiteiritiri with the same problem. We all wanted out of the place and the thought of being stuck in a boring place did not put smiles on our faces. Fortunately, enough of us complained that Kiwi experience put on a second bus for all of those that were stuck. It turns out that most of us were from the UK. If there's one thing us Brits can do well, it's complain. To be honest it was a blessing in disguise, as this mutual dilemma we all shared brought a group of young go-geters together and united us to form quite a formidable bunch. Along with the eight of us from Kaikoura, there was the lovely Jean (Claire from Canada), Will (a young, quiet guy from Portsmouth), Julie (a fellow teacher from Ireland), Megan and Steph (two ravishing girls from Reading), a cute young couple, Emily from England and Jackson Kidd from Australia (yes I know what you're thinking, Jackson does have the coolest name) and Chris and Cari, both of whom were Scottish but were studying in Australia. That was it. That was our group. And what a group it was, we all got on like a house on fire. I guess we were lucky. I mean Alex and I have always befriended people where ever we've been, but to have such a large group of laid back, like minded people, all stuck with each other for ten days was just brilliant. To add to that, we also had an incredibly sorted bus driver named Poncey. The next ten days were going to be fun, very fun indeed. The next stop was West Port. 

On the surface, West Port was a small town with little to offer in terms of entertainment and we were only staying there a night. Luckily for us due to the huge amount of travellers, there were now two Kiwi buses travelling in Convoy, meaning instead of fifty people partying together, there were one hundred. Although to be honest, our group dominated every social situation, our bus was the Party Bus, the other bus was, well, The Boring Bus. Our two drivers made this insignificant town a lot of fun as they organised a bar crawl, a bar crawl with a twist. It was a three legged bar crawl. All the lads had to write their names on a piece of paper and the girls would pick a name at random out of the hat. I was partnered up with a young Danish girl named Christina. If you've ever been in a three legged race, you'll understand how difficult this was to do whilst drinking! Not only that but we had to stay attached all night, including toilet stops. As you can imagine it was quite hilarious with people falling over, embarrassments in the lavatories and general arguments about which social circle to hang with. Everyone was laughing at each other. Alex and his partner (we think her name was Kate-Sweed struggles to remember) didn't last too long together and split ways by the second bar. Christina and I were pretty fantastic, I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm blowing my own trumpet but we were perfectly synchronised. We were even running together, making others green with envy as we galloped past them getting to each bar first and avoiding the queues. Sadly for the young Dane, I ditched her as the Americano dance came on  and Sweed and I performed our routine for all onlookers in the bar. As the crowd thinned there was only really our group and a few others remaining at the last bar. The landlord decided he would let us have a lock in and even let us connect our iPhones to the stereo system, allowing us to play all manner of sing alongs from 'I'm the King of the Swingers' to the ever epic 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. The latter was triumphantly sung by Sweed, John, Chris (who was quickly becoming my GBF (gay best friend)) and myself. A great night it was, although it did result in hoarse throats and sore heads in the morning. 

From here our contingent, led by Poncey, headed south to Lake Manihapau, home of the legendary Poo Party. Don't fret, we don't dance around and chucks faeces at each other. It's due to the name of the lake, Manihapau. It's basically a hostel in the middle of nowhere purely designed for the Kiwi buses which arrive every day. A good business strategy me thinks. Everyone has to dress up in fancy dress and the winners claim an illusive prize.   Poncey and Dylan (the other bus driver) decided that as it was Valentines Day Eve, our theme would be Bag Love. Which basically meant use bin bags and somehow incorporate love in to it. As soon as the theme was announced, murmurs swept over the bus. Cupids, bridesmaids, love birds, prostitutes, free kiss men, and the rest, were all mentioned time and time again. People who know me well will be aware of my seriousness when it comes to the art of fancy dress. Sweed and I put our game faces on and brain-stormed. After a short while we decided on a great idea, Gimps! What loving, caring relationship hasn't had an occasion when gimps weren't involved? None of mine that's for sure. We went for it, splitting up in the DIY store like an episode of Super Market Sweep. Admittedly we spent more than others, but my philosophy is to do fancy dress properly. If you do it half hearted it'll look rubbish. We did it well, very well. We even fashioned strap-ons and had dog collars with spanking paddles. The costumes went down a treat and everyone enjoyed our disgustingness and creepy demeanour. It was truly a fun filled night with many valentine related games and also a visit to the lake at stupid o'clock at night. Lots of fun with our group of many friends. Lots of incidents which mustn't be scribbled on this PG version of our adventure. The pooh party was a success.  

At this stage on our trip I was feeling a little frustrated. Even though we were having a great time in NZ it seemed as though the first few days were just spent socialising and partying it up. Not that I was upset by this, I just wanted to do something worthwhile. Something I could only do in NZ. An activity. An adventure. Thankfully my desire was fulfilled as the next stop would be to Franz Josef, home of the inspiring 'Franz Josef Glacier'. Sweed, myself and our band of merry men (and women) opted to do the full day Glacier hike, according to dear old Anton it was a great day. We kitted up with full on climbing gear to tackle this freak of nature. It's hazards were perfectly disguised by it's majestic beauty. White towers soared into the horizon, with crystal blue crevasses as far as the eye could see. No words i type can do it justice, so i'll leave the description there.

We all decided we were hardcore and opted to go in the fast group (this way you get to see more of the glacier) as the further you go the better it gets. Led by our awesome guide TJ we climbed, slithered, hung, shimmied and bounded between the life threatening crevasses which dominated the glacier. We wriggled through ice tunnels, and descended in to magnificent ice caves. We were on top of the world. A glacier is truly one of natures greatest creations, however it also could be one of natures most deadly. We were in for a demonstration (well nearly). As we were striding across a glacier flat, we experienced a rare thing. A large glacial shift. The ice beneath our feet rumbled and shook as if the earth was ready to swallow us whole. The rumble echoed through the valley and we all (including our experienced guide) looked at each other in despair. Fortunately, the ice didn't swallow us, but we experienced this colossal demonstration by nature. And it was extremely rare. 

The actual hike across the glacier was very physically demanding, luckily we were blessed with exceptional weather as previous groups had warned us how a rainy day could spoil the whole experience. There was one particular highlight, Lauren. Although very athletic, Lauren happened to struggle with the pace of the fast group. This resulted in many dramatic screams, cries and genuine terror for the poor lass. TJ spent half of his time carrying her across crevasses and the other half holding her hand to keep her safe. The rest of us found this very amusing and it kept our morale high, well, a part from Lauren's obviously. 

The inspiring Franz Josef Glacier hike really does take its toll on the body. Limbs are stiff, muscles are sore and the body aches. Fortuitously the people of Franz Josef have thought about this and opposite our hostel resides the Glacier hot pools. Three large pools all heated to a range of relaxing, muscle soothing temperatures. All of us went to re-energize and reminice about the days events. It was most welcomed and prepared us for a night celebrating at the local bar. Our bus driver Poncey had arranged for us to meet him at the bar that evening to treat us to some shots and announce the winner of the Pooh Party. Usually the winner of the Pooh Party wins quite an extravagent prize; a sky dive or bungy jump, etc. As the competitive person I am, I really wanted this, Sweed and I had worked hard on our costume. To ours and the crowds delight, Poncey revealed that there were two winners of the Pooh Party, Sweed and myself. Yey! We won. Who says dressing up as a gimp, with a strap on and a paddle doesn't pay off? Our prize was a Canyon Swing, we were thrilled (although my fear of heights still had reservations about this 'prize').

The next stop on our travels south, was at Wanaka. A beautiful small town with a gorgeous lake situated in the centre with a backdrop of several impressive mountains, including the towering Mount Cook which over awed the rest. Yet again, due to our tight schedule and the Kiwi bus being fully booked, we were only stopping here for one night. Sad times, it's a lovely place. We spent the afternoon lazing by the sparkling lake. Chris, Claire, Cari and myself enjoyed a refreshing dip whilst Ruben kayaked deep in to the distance. The four of us then took a stroll around town, taking in the epic sights, whilst talking non-sense sat upon 'look out hill'. It's fair to say the sunset was pretty jaw-dropping, the sky was awash with oranges, pinks and purples. If only I could paint (maybe I'll add that to the bucket list).

A fun-filled evening was in store, as the staff from AJ Hackett (the Bungy jump company) were visiting from nearby Queens Town to promote their jumps. The main guy running the show was named Barry, a large fellow from the UK, who was absorbed in to the exciting life of Queens Town and stayed out there to work. I can't blame me him really. He organised a game for us, in mixed-pairs, one attached to a bungy running to get a pint, the other stood waiting to down the pint. Any spillages adds time on to your score. I teamed up with Lauren, whilst Alex teamed up with Cari. Alex left the lid on his pint and was way out of the running when the pair of them finally sorted it out. Lauren and I on the other hand did rather well. I bounded to the pint with the Bungy pulling at me and returned it to Lauren without spilling a drop, Lauren did rather well and we were soon the pair to beat. I must mention here that Kerryn and Claire also looked really quick (quicker than us in fact), although they were penalised for spillages, unfortunately for them. When it came to the end, there was nothing we could do. A Finish man who could open his gullet like a wishing well claimed the first prize of a free Nevis Bungy. Lauren and I claimed a respectable third, but sadly our reward was a ruddy t-shirt. I should also mention that Barry took 2 seconds off if both participants were in their underwear and 4 seconds off if they were naked. I won't say who did what, but with about 12 pairs all attempting to win a lot of fun was had.

The only evidence of the night before was the stench of beer and vodka, and the floor sticking to your shoes as we exited the hostel for the Kiwi bus. Our new destination, Queens Town. We were excited. Very excited. Before reaching the actual town, we stopped off at the AJ Hackett hub on the outskirts. We all booked our bungy's and then continued to scare the weak minded about 'real' stories of Bungy deaths. It was a lot of fun. Saying good bye to Kerryn and asking him what we should say to his family was particularly amusing. Queen Town is a dangerous place. Not for your safety, but dangerous for your bank balance. There's a whole host of adrenaline pumping activities to occupy you during the day and an endless stream of modern, quirky bars to entertain you in the evenings until your heart's content. The majority of our group decided to do the Nevis Bungy on that day. Alex and I had other plans, we wanted to do it in style and by hobbit costumes. We cursed our luck when an optimistic search ended fruitlessly, but then a change in fortune. Although not the hobbit costume I desired, I couldn't resist the spiderman costume (it was actually a better idea than my original hobbit one). Alex was left with a black morph suit which was as equally freaky as it was amusing. 

Sweed is the adrenaline junky. No fear of heights, or throwing himself off cliffs. Me, I'm not. At least I wasn't at first. I hate heights and looking over ledges? No way! So this was very much a mental battle for me. Still, I knew I wanted to push myself and conquer my fears. Alex was up first, the guys at the Canyon swing place are truly evil. They can smell your fear and when they do, boy do they mess with you. They start commenting on how bad the straps are on your harness, how many accidents they've had, they even lean you over the side and pretend to drop you. Evil humans! For everyone watching-hilarious! Alex had no fear and decided to run and do a back flip in to the Canyon. It looked scary, but typical Sweed loved it. Then it was me. They knew I was scared but they did enjoy the spiderman costume, they even played the Spiderman theme tune when it was my go. It got me pumped up and armed with my two cans of spider web (silly string), I was as ready as I was ever going to be. They suggested I jump in backwards and spray my string at them for a cool photo (they also said it was the scariest way to go in). I thought "if I'm going to do it, I might as well do it right". After 10 minutes of the two guys messing with my head, I leapt backwards in to the abyss and launched a scathing attack of spider string at them. This was a lot of fun and made a great pic. As I swung from side to side in the canyon, I continued to spray my string and sing the theme tune at the top of my lungs. It was such a rush and took several hours for the buzz to stop. Lauren and Priyal were there too and they decided to do a tandem jump. They were pretty scared but I think they liked it. Sweed and I then decided we too should do a tandem jump. However we wanted to up the scare factor a notch. We decided to do the scariest tandem, it's called 'gimp boy goes to hollywood', essentially it's where you're both connected at the hips and are dangling upside by your feet. So your faces are looking straight at where you could potentially die. The cord was pulled and spiderman and gimp boy plummeted downwards thanks to gravities vicious pull. It was a lot of fun and we even discussed several points over the walkie talkie the workers give you (one being, which of the two canyon worker guys did we think was the better lover) whilst swaying back and forth at high speeds. As the swing came to the end and they started to real us in, we had the great idea of a good photo opportunity. I grabbed Sweed in my arms, like a damsel in distress and as we came in to view over the platform, everyone saw spiderman looking like he's just rescued gimp boy from obvious peril. Another great Kodak moment which tickled everyone. 

During a quick exploration of Queens Town, we found possibly the greatest shop on middle earth, I mean planet earth. A Lord Of The Rings shop. Obviously we entered and found out you can pay $10 and play fancy dress in their costumes. We were in our element. Dressing up as Frodo, Gandalf, Orcs, warriors and maidens. Lots of photos were taken and I was living the dream (and going through my bucket list like there was no tomorrow).

The nights out in Queens Town have all merged together, but they were all basically as epic as each other. Drinking out of tea -pots, dancing around, and eating the most amazing, world famous, Furg Burgers. A must if you ever go to Queens Town. I wonder why they aren't a world wide company, they're easily the best burgers ever! Two particular bars to mention are The Cowboy bar and Ice bar. The cowboy bar is really cool, saddles as chairs and litre sized pints. The Ice bar is exactly what it says it is, everything is made of ice. Minus 5 ensures the bar, tables, chairs, statues and even glasses stay frozen. A really 'cool' idea (sorry). They give you thick coats and cheap cocktails, but the moment I'll remember most is the end. We didn't know this at the time, but there's a statue by the door where you can smash your ice glass into at the end of the 45 minutes you're in there for. When this was announced at the end, a few of us mis-heard. Instead of throwing them in the correct place, a few us heard "just smash them", so along with Poncey, our bus driver, we started smashing the ice glasses on the table. It was a lot of fun. Sadly a bar man didn't think so and decided to pick on my gay best friend, Chris Rennie. He grabbed Rennie by the wrist and loudly got everyone's attention to point out what a (insert swear word heard) Rennie was. Very harsh, but equally hilarious and the puppy dog look on Rennie's face-priceless. 

The next step on my fear ladder, was the Nevis Bungy. One of the highest in the world standing (dangling) at 134m above ground, it's the same height as the Eifel Tower. I can't pretend I wasn't nervous. The glass bottomed cable cart from which you jump, is hovering over the deep canyon beneath. They wheel you out in a smaller cable cart just to make sure you're really scared, if you weren't already. The Nevis Bungy and the canyon swing are two different companies. The canyon guys really mess with you, the Nevis Bungy guys don't, they don't need to. Typically, Sweed nonchalantly strolled up in his morph suit and threw himself off, again loving every second of it. As I was strapped up I could feel the beads of sweat crawling down my face, thankfully masked by my Spiderman costume. As I was guided to the edge I was counted down from three (there was no time to contemplate backing out) and I launched myself in to the void. It was a dizzying combination of both thrill and fear as you free fall for 13 long seconds. A truly incredible moment and one I will never forget. The sense of achievement it brought to me was second to none and my attitude towards heights has definitely changed. 

It was the end of our group romance in Queens Town. Everyone was staying for different durations or moving on to other places. It had definitely been an emotional, hair raising two weeks, but it's a time I won't ever forget and I've definitely made some friends for life. If you lot are reading this, you're all wicked and I feel nostalgic at just the thought of you. 

End of Part 1 - please continue on the next post. 

Kiwi adventures continued...

I won't dwell on things, there's plenty more to chat about. Our next port of call was Twizel, touring the Lord Of The Rings sites. I'm not sure if we were lucky or not but it was only Sweed and I on our tour, and our tour guide was actually an extra in the new Hobbit movies. The tour was cool, and it was interesting seeing where the battles had taken place, but the most fun was the dressing up. Our tour guide presented us with Orc costumes and Rohan warrior costumes to act out some scenes. I particularly enjoyed the Gollum mask, the guide flippantly joked "it would look more like Gollum if you were in your underwear". Within 8 seconds I was stood in front of her in my boxers, she was impressed and handed me the mask. I then continued to scramble about mumbling "master, master" and "my precioussss'. Good times. Good photos. The lovely lady even dropped round her personal DVD player and the LOTR trilogy so we could spend the next nine hours watching the epic, kiwi made movie. This was a good nine hours. Just in case you're wondering, the ring was destroyed, middle earth save and Frodo survived. Northward bound, we set off to Geraldine where would be dabbling in some white-water rafting. 

We were picked up by a cheerful Irish chap named Billy, who drove us to the cabin in the middle of nowhere. Rain gradually fell harder and harder which resulted in a chilled evening in the cabin, sat around the fire watching random films. As morning broke there was a freshness to the air, one which you only get after a huge down pour. This gave us a spectacular view of the mountains and green areas, plus it put us in a good mood for our next extreme event-challenging level 5 (the highest) rapids. This chirpy mood would soon be brought to a halt. We kitted up and had our debrief, our lead guide named Steve, broke the news. Due to the extensive down pour the river had tripled in size. The level 2 rapids were now level 3, the level 3 was level 4, the level 4's were level 5 and the level 5 might be too dangerous to descend. Steve said he'd check it out as we got there but that he would put our safety first, which I guess was right, but none the less, we wanted danger!

The setting for the rafting (as with most things in New Zealand) was magical. The glacier river sat infront of lush green hills and majestic, snow capped mountains. We traversed the beginning part of the river well, with Sweed and I leading the way at the front-the two most important positions. It was quite demanding with ferocious forward strokes to propel the raft in the desired direction, against the force of nature's rapids. We eventually came to a stand still as Steve went ahead to check the most dangerous part of the river. Sadly it was bad news as the river was way over the speed for a safe session. I won't lie, we were disappointed, however due to each level rising, we still got ravaged by the level 5 white waters.
Not only weren't we allowed to ride some of the rapids, we also had to carry the rafts 400m downstream on the grass. Utter admin. Eventually we were back in the water, rafting, cliff jumping and flipping our raft over until our hearts were content. 

There was a just reward for our day's exhaustion. The rafting company cooked up a massive feast on the BBQ, free of charge. As per usual, we went to town on it. We left the the camping place that night and headed back to the eerie Christchurch to meet up with the kiwi bus the next day. From here we returned to our initial stop, Kaikoura. 

Alex and I decided to do the swimming with seals activity this time around and we were also joined by Priyal, Lauren and Punam. It was a perfect day as the few clouds soon dispersed into nothingness, leaving us with a bright-blueness everywhere. The water in Kaikoura isn't the clearest, which made visibility at about 2m (this is pretty poor). The seals eventually came in to the sea from their rocky hide-away. They dipped and darted. They splashed and sniffed. They even dared to stare. But they didn't play with us like we hoped. When ever we got close they would swim away. It wasn't the most exhilarating activity we've done. However it's always better to have done something and not regret missing out. That's my view on things anyhow. 

Yet again, another stalker catches up with us. No it's not what you're thinking, Anton is safely back home in Manchester, this time it was Grace. We caught up and chilled and then headed north the next day to Wellington. 

With only a limited time remaining, we only stayed in the capital one night. As soon as we arrived Alex and I found something we had been waiting for, for a long-time. Star Wars Episode 1 in 3D. Sad, geeky, call it what you want. We were pumped with excitement. Unfortunately it wasn't much different from the 2D version. To conclude, we think that George Lucas should work on re-making the original 3 films from scratch. Or carry on after episode 6. If you're reading this George and need some help, let us know.

Aboard the big, green, kiwi machine once more, with a northward bearing to Taupo. We left a few of the girls in Wellington and were left with Grace, Amy (affectionately known as horse) and her bus buddy Mike. Taupo had long been anticipated for Sweed and I as this is where we had pencilled in to do our sky dive. It was cheaper than on the south island, bigger free-fall and with an overwhelming view of the biggest lake in New Zealand, Lake Taupo. In fact Lake  Taupo is so vast it can fit the whole of Singapore inside it and still have water to spare. Be impressed. 

Here I go with my figurative paintbrush again... 
The sky was a sapphire blue, untouched and deserted, bar the ever lonesome star which basks in it's glory on a stunning, summers day. Sweed, Grace and I suited up. Locks latched, velcro fastened and zips zipped. We weren't nervous, we were buzzing, charged, excited. Call it what you will but nothing could change our moods. The young lad who checked us turned out to be from Southampton and was even taught by mum when he was at school. Small world isn't it Jack? Our plane crawled to a halt and posed for us, gleaming in the sun's rays. It was an electric pink, not the colour you'd expect, although I guess the extravagant colour reflected it's purpose in life. We climbed aboard the tiny, pink bird. Each of us were attached to our dive master, but not before adding some personal messages for the cameras.

Sweed being besotted with his darling Rebecca decided to write "I 'heart' Becky" on his arm. Seeing as I was writing this for him, it also said "+ Tas" in the corner. Sorry Becky but it's true. I also crafted two faces, one on each of his palms, to Alex's request. It resulted in some comical photos. Me, I opted for some 'friendly' messages for the folks at home. To my darling sister I wrote on the inside of one arm "Bum Face". It's completely affectionate, she has a little chin dimple which our dad told her "it's where you were kissed by the angels", I said "it's where they sat on her face"! On the other inside of my arm was written 'GIANTS", showing my Facebook wifey Glenn that team Giants are a world-wide brand. Lastly but by no means least, a message to my Spurs supporting, BF, Walshy. The morning of the jump my mighty Arsenal thumped Spurs 5-2. I had this written on two arms, just in case he turned over at 3-2 (which he probably did). A little bit mean, but equally amusing I also had written "How's work Walshy?" on one palm and for you LOST fans, "NOT PENNY'S BOAT" on the other palm. Inked up, we were set. 

As the plane ascended the view only improved. The lake sparkled as if a glitter pen had exploded over it. The grass beneath was as true a green as I've ever seen. The mountains in the distance slowly transformed from towering monuments, to toy like objects beneath us. The first few jumpers alighted at 12,000ft, a half second screech was all that was heard before they disappeared into a sun kissed, blue void. The plane approached 15,000ft when the dive master attached to my back shouted in my ear over the roaring wind, "look all around as soon as we jump out and you'll be able to see both coasts of the country". I said nothing. Instead I was too excited. Long gone have those fears of heights, which haunted me in the past. The canyon swing and Bungy jump had hardened me for this. I was out first, Alex followed. I tumbled out of the plane, eyes open, whilst screaming excitedly. It was probably the most amazing moment of my life. I could see most of the country, the eastern coast and pacific ocean on one side, the western coast and Tasman sea on the other. Beneath me was the now puddle looking, lake Taupo. Sixty seconds of complete free fall goes quick. Especially when you're trying to show the camera man all of your ink. My dive master spun us in to head twirling three sixties and mind boggling backwards rolls. For a moment you quickly lose where you are, there's no fear, it's just rush. Adrenaline rush, wind rush, time rush, everything is a rush. Then I pulled the cord as instructed and the parachute opened. Beneath me I could count the rainbow of parachutes of the early jumpers. It reminded me of a Skittles advert. I was given the handles to control the parachute for a slow descend. The view was still as staggering, accept this time I was afforded five minutes to take it all in. The mountains grew in stature, the coasts disappeared  from view. Each strong pull on a handle sent us in to a dizzying spiral and then finally, a soft landing. My heart was thumping, my skin was tingling and my smile stretched across my face (as Anna Brooks-Beckman would say, I looked like the Joker from Batman). I span quickly to see Sweed's landing and he too wore a face of sheer joy. We high-fived each other in true, Top Gun fashion and retreated to the cinema room to watch what the camera men achieved. £250 and worth every penny for a 15,000ft, 60sec freefall, with photos and film. Freefall Taupo even threw in a t-shirt. If you're going to sky dive in New Zealand then do it there!

A lot of people have asked which was our favourite, the Canyon swing, Nevis Bungy, or Sky dive. So here's my answer, all of them. If money was no object then the sky dive was probably better as it's longer and more inspiring. The Nevis Bungy is facing a fear, it's the scariest out of the three by far and you're in control of it. The Canyon Swing is just utter madness, you can jump off or be dropped off in a whole host of crazy ways and the guys who work there increase your fear ten-fold, which is just hilarious. To conclude, they're all amazing in their own right. All I will say is, which ever you decide to do, do the most extreme. If it's a Bungy, do the biggest. If it's a sky dive, do the highest. And if it's a canyon swing do the craziest jump they can offer. Paintbrush down, detailed sky dive description done. 

A few quite days in the beautiful, yet quaint Taupo, soon turned in to being action packed. Not soon after our sky dive was complete, Sweed, Grace, Horse and myself were planning tomorrow's adventure, The Tongorira Crossing. This is a world-heritage site, one of many New Zealand offers. It's a 19km trek, up hills, down hills and around hills. Quite a task on it's own, but we were told it has some of the greatest scenery on the planet. As if that wasn't enough, about 2km into the trek there is the imposing site of a colossal, black mountain. And not just an ordinary mountain, no, this was Mount Doom from Lord Of The Rings. The very same mountain that Frodo and same toiled their way up and wrestled with Gollum to cast the ring in to the fiery pit from whence it came. Obviously this had Alex and I uber excited and we dragged the girls along too, explaining the story to Horse en route. Worryingly the first 2km were harder than we thought and my legs were already feeling the pain. The company that runs this trek are pretty sneaky, you pay $60 NZ dollars for them to pick you up at 6:30 in the morning and then pick you up at the other side of the crossing at 4:30. A lot of money and on reflection you're better off finding another group of people, renting a car between you, one person drops off and picks up a group one day and then a driver from group one drops off and picks up group two the next day. Would probably cost $100 between all eight of you! 

Back to the mountain. With no obvious trail we start climbing Mount Doom on the loose black ash and jagged rocks which lay all over it. Most of the first hour felt like we we were taking one foot (and hand) forward and two back. As we crawled on our hands and feet we eventually reached cloud level, about a third of the way up. Clouds carpeted our view. Clouds beneath us, clouds above us. We could only see each other, there was no obvious trail, we couldn't hear anyone, we were ill equipped and to top it off, it stared snowing. When I looked at the others I saw weathered faces, broken spirits and I knew they saw the same when they read my face. There was one thing pushing us up the vertical climb, failure. Fear of failure to be precise. Who wants to say they climbed half way up Mount Doom? A once in life time opportunity. Not me that's for sure. Not us. We pulled together and found a pathway of heavy rocks which we clambered up, occasionally passing a well experienced mountaineer who gave us a quizzical look before pointing us in the right direction. Wet from the snow, sweating from the physical exertion, bloody from the occasional abrasion, but we made it. Two and half hours, 7,500ft later, we made it. It was a thin lip at the top, still looking into the clouds where we had just appeared from on one side and on the other side, where we had hoped to see the inside of the crater, more clouds. We were tired so we stopped for a snack and basked in our triumph. Minutes before our descent it happened. I'm not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination, however it was a moment that a religious person would probably claim as 'god speaking to them'. The clouds dissolved away and we were left looking deep into the crater of Mount Doom and the Tongariro crossing. Sadly Mount Doom isn't full of fire and magma like it was on middle earth. But a great view non the less. Going down was much easier, after watching Bear Grills doing this many a time, we were down within half an hour. Exhausted and drained, but full of pride, we then realised a terrible truth. We had another 17km to go! Up hills, down hills and around hills. Only this time we were about an hour off schedule. We needed to do it quick and the rain had decided to join us. We made no more stops and broke in to a jog when ever we could (apparently the Kiwis invented jogging-I'll come back to this point shortly). It got to 4:25 and all four of us were safely back in the bus, special kudos to Horse who despite her small stature and crazy decision to wear white pumps, completed everything. Well done Horse. Tired, drained (both physically and mentally) we were spent and bed was calling. 

Right, the kiwis inventing things. As most of you will know, New Zealand is not an old country. It's history is nowhere near as large as England or Europe's, it's only been vastly populated for nearly 200 years. Therefore I found it difficult to believe that the Kiwis invented as much as they claimed. Our bus driver was a proud Kiwi and when he claimed they invented jogging, the pavlova, or zorbing I couldn't help but think he was pulling our leg to try and give his nation some history. So here I am Poncey, apologising. I did some research and it was all true, they made the pavlova as a tribute to a Russian gymnast, the zorb well, because they're crazy and jogging was 'apparently' invented by one of their coaches during an Olympic training session. I find it strange that one claims to have invented jogging as it's just a slow form of running, but I'll let it go. So yeah, it turns out they have given this world so much.

Our last day in Taupo involved me getting cheated out of a victory in human sized chess by Grace and Horse and a visit from our soon hosts to be, Nick and Mark, who were on their way back from a Bon Iver concert. We grabbed some lunch with the boys and caught up quickly. We would be staying with them in two days in Auckland. That evening Sweed, Grace, Horse and myself played some crazy golf, which Sweed won and the girls found my disgruntled competitiveness, somewhat hilarious and decided to try and wind me up. Women! Taupo really is a beautiful place, another setting to add to my list for places I could easily move to. 

Another day, another stop. This time, Rotarua. Rotarua was famous for it's stinky, sulphur smell, hot mud pools and Maori experience nights. We did the latter. You get picked up in the bus and taken into the wilderness, where a family of Maori descendants act out how the Maoris, the first inhabitants of New Zealand, use to live. Before we arrived we had to select a chief to represent our bus, as no one volunteered, we decided to nominate Sweed. As we arrived we were told not to laugh at the Haka dances or smile as this would be a great disrespect to them. Alex stood in the circle of tourists with the three other bus chiefs. Sweed was then selected to be the chief who received the gift from the Maori tribe once their dance was complete. Sweed claims he was 'Chief of the chiefs', I tried my darnedest to make him laugh, but the stubborn boy blocked me out well. He had a face of stone, un moving, emotionless. His eyes was piercing like Shadow's from gladiators. They had to be, because the six tribal Maoris who came out did an intimidating war dance in front of the bus chiefs. Alex slowly approached the gift as they danced, eyed and screamed at him. The boy did good. After this introduction we had a tour of different parts of Maori culture and I even asked one of them to teach me how to fight with his spear. I think he was impressed with my raw talent. We also had an enormous meal, which was cooked in the ground, using volcanic rocks, just like the Maoris did it. 

Leaving everyone else behind, Alex and I moved on to our final destination, Auckland. We were lucky enough to be staying at Nick's place in Auckland, in a small suburb calked Tia Tatu. Auckland is huge, not in height but the amount of area it consumes. It's actually the second largest city in the world, number one being San Francisco.

It's really refreshing to know how many good people are out there. I mean we met Nick and Mark in week 3 of our trip, over 5 months ago, spent 5 days with them on our Laos tour and now we're here on the other side of the planet staying with them as if we'd been friends for years. And it didn't feel weird at all, I guess that's what happens when you travel with people. You can instantly tell if they're your type of person. Being the nice guys they are, Mark and Nick took a few days off from work to hang out with us and take us on a road trip. We went North to a place called Waipu Cove, right on the coast. And a beautiful coast it is. We hired a cabin for a night, Mark brought his BBQ, we purchased a load of meat, and a substantial amount of alcohol. We chatted, answered many 'would rathers' and 'top 5' questions, played deck of fire, wore pillow cases, played human buckaroo when Sweed did his early falling asleep thing again and then went to the beach to star gaze and chat random, drunken rubbish until the beer supply ran out. It was gone five when we eventually slept and this resulted in some very tired bunnies in the morning. We were woken by the cleaner who informed us we should've checked out at 10:00 am, it was 10:15 and the place was a scene from the Hangover movie. Nick, Mark and I blitzed the place whilst Sweed was nursing a hangover. We impressed ourselves and then jumped in the ocean for an hour as a reward. A great road trip. Grown men will always be immature boys when grouped together. We spent the next couple of days hanging out with Nick and his flat mates, Brett, Michelle and the crazy old dog Shannon. One night of poor sleep can be blamed on watching the scariest film ever created, paranormal activity 3. It puts me in a sweat still. 

Some will say I'm a loser, but I can't help for having a passion for my work. I did a little bit of research and found a forward thinking primary school near Nick's place. I sent the Head Teacher of Matipo Primary School an email and within hours he had invited me in the very next day. I still enjoy the buzz of a school, kids being cheeky and playing age old, playground games. It's even more pleasurable when you don't have to worry about planning or scores or all that bureaucracy that takes up far too much of a teacher's time. The school was quirky, sporadically set out to make it seem like a village instead of an intimidating building. The children didn't need to wear school uniform or bring in PE kit, it was colourful and laid back. They had hobbit holes built in to the field and the head teacher even shared my love for Harry Potter. He even went to the extent of purchasing an old car and getting a crane to put it on the roof like the Weasley's flying car. To say I was impressed was an understatement. The teacher's get paid for after school clubs and the children even start the day with 20minutes physical activity, something I've been wanting to implement for a while. Watch out BPS. It's great seeing how other schools work, in some ways we're ahead of them at BPS, in others we're not. I enjoyed chatting to other teacher's too, knowing they have the same problems I do makes me feel it's the system that's got problems and not the teachers. 

Sadly there was one blemish to our time in New Zealand, we had previously planned to meet Rhi and Jade (the two lovely ladies from our Australian adventures) at the airport for lunch. A week before they were due to fly to Auckland, where we would meet them, Rhi had informed me that they had managed to change their flight so they would be able to spend a couple of days with us instead of just a few hours. I was over the moon. I even planned a fun filled day for us all. The glee came to an abrupt end. The day before we were expecting them, the girls realised that the stupid people at STA travel had changed not only their Auckland flight, but also their connecting flight to Fiji. Meaning that as soon as they arrived in the airport, they were off again. 

I was gutted. Still am. I guess I'll have to be patient and wait for a UK reunion. I hope you're enjoying Fiji girls, travel safe. 

On our penultimate day we went to Alex's old school friend's place, his name was Jonesy and he lived with his Mrs Amy. It was their friends birthday (Pat who also went to school with Sweed) so they had a bit of a BBQ. After some food and drinks we headed out as it was also our final night in New Zealand. I had arranged to meet some others too, Priyal, Punam and Lauren from the kiwi bus were in town, Mark came out after work and even Vinay, our tour guide in Laos (he lived in Auckland) ventured out too. Jonesy's job is a singer, so we went to watch him at his Wednesday gig at My Bar in the city centre. He was awesome, he sings covers but in his own unique way. Armed with his guitar and pedal controlled recording box, his version of Ganster's Paradise might be the greatest thing my ears have listened to. Get it on iTunes Jonesy. 

The party continued well into the early hours and many farewells were said. Goodbyes to the kiwi girls, a goodbye to Vinay and an emotional farewell to Mark. Such a top bloke who I really hope to cross paths with again. Hopefully I can return the hospitality if he ever comes to the UK. And most of all the big bear, Nick. Due to some back problems he couldn't make it out, but a massive thanks to another instant friend who we will no doubt see again. Thanks for the Heelies big man, I'll be practicing through South America. Don't forget to keep me informed about Mr  Flopadopolus and his antics. 

Jonesy cooked us some bacon sandwiches before dropping us off at the airport. New Zealand had flown by. So many adventures, so much fun, so many amazing people. Another chapter complete, we look down on this amazing country as we embark on our journey across the pacific. Everyone wished us a safe flight, a small part of me was hoping we'd crash (but survive) on a deserted island (like LOST). It didn't happen. Instead we went back in time sixteen hours (time travel crossed off the bucket list) and landed on a new continent. South America, more precisely, Santiago, Chile. 

Thanks for taking the day or two it took to read this mammoth entry. I'm honestly doing it as quick as I can. 

Over and out bro,

Tas and Sweed.

Xxx

-- 
Sasso

Well hello there people, 

Welcome to the next installment of Around The World in 240 Days, A Tas and Sweed Story. As promised to Rhiannon and Jade (as we have spent the last month together) this blog entry will be about the four of us. So welcome to all the friends and family of our lovely Sutton ladies.

Okay so I last left you when we were on our way to the small town of Noosa. Upon our arrival at Noosa we were greeted by a friendly chap from Leeds who was driving us to the Nomads hostel, we had accommodation booked for one night. The hostel was decent, friendly staff but sadly we all had to settle for top bunks. Sad times. That evening was a lot of fun, starting off at the hostel with a few games and then a large group of us went to a club and continued to dissect and throw several shapes on the dance floor. I would also later learn that I spent a lot of this evening sneaking in to the background of people's photos. Oops. 

Heads hurting, eyes swelling and slightly still intoxicated, we checked out the in the morning. Later that day we were off to Gagaju Kayaking Camp, in the mean time we headed to the holy grail of all with a hangover, KFC. I'm not one to mention all of our fast food encounters, it's just this one was memorable. In a slightly delirious mood, Jade, Rhi, Alex and I decided to have some banter with the young lad serving us. He couldn't have been out of his teens and he had that dreamy name which teenage girls adore, Corey. We complemented his serving style and demeanour before noticing that he was stood next to an employee of the month plaque (correction; employee of the 'period'. Silly Aussies). After noticing young Corey's absence from the plaque, we came to the decision of compiling a list of reasons to give to his boss, as to why we think Corey should be employee of the month. I won't list them all, but here are a few;

Corey looks you in eyes when he says "chicken".

Corey works on his own with a smile on his face. 

Corey has a gentlemanly demeanour. 

Corey's great with kids, etc. 

The manager was called to the front and with Corey present, I went through the reasons. Corey's face lit up like Leciester Square at Christmas. As the four of us are so cool we even gave Corey our names to FaceBook us. He still hasn't, maybe we came across weird? After reading this whole episode through, I'm sure we were definitely weird, 'twas fun though. God dam your boyband looks Corey, you could've had four great friends.

It was obvious that the dramatics of Corey had left us drained, as we were all suffering. As our minibus arrived to collect us for our four day kayaking trip, we were just about feeling normal, thankfully. We arrived out in the sticks after a stop at the shop for some supplies and were shown around the very basic camp site. There was a really cool feature, a tap poking out of a tree which we used as a sink. However this wasn't enough to convince Jade and Rhi to stick it out for four days in the wild. The first evening was spent getting to know our new group with some games. Yet again we were blessed with meeting a great bunch. Two comical, young Dutch girls, Simone and Kirsty. A middle aged couple from the UK, Kev and Lynn. Two typical northern lasses, Michelle and Emily. A single lady from Hampshire, Mellisa. And finally three young lads who would turn out to become very good friends all the way up the coast, Pascal, a lonesome traveller from Germany and two young guys from Chile, Jose and Javier. 

A restless, mosquito attacked night was followed with an early morning. Jade and Rhi were in charge of lunch as Alex and I cooked dinner the night before (it turns out neither of them can cook to save their lives). It was three people to a kayak so Mel jumped in with Alex and myself, Rhi was with Pascal and Simone and Jade was with Kev and Lynn. (The rest of the paragraph would be best read with a pirate voice). Little did the rest of the boats know, but Alex and I had a plan for the kayaking trip, piracy! Not copying DVD's, but real piracy. Thievery and pointless "g'arrs!". The lake we descended was calm at first, perhaps too calm the others thought. It was clear by the looks in our eyes that mischief was afoot. Within minutes our ship (kayak) had taken the lead and turned to face our enemies. We raced towards Rhianon's scurvy boat and engaged them in a battle of splash wars. As the boats collided Alex and I (co-captains) stole flip flops from right underneath their filthy, land loving feet. G'arr! (Pirate voice can now stop if you so wish).

These shenanigans continued for the 9 miles of the entire kayaking trip. Only Jose's and Pascal's vessels managed to recoup some of their possessions in battle. The group of fifteen of us stopped for a golden kissed picnic at a park looking out at the water. Most people had a deserved nap here too, Rhi and I spent some time together quizzing each other on our knowledge of popular TV show Friends. The girl is good, very good. At this point I feel I should mention that Rhi is actually rarely called 'Rhi', at least not by me anyway. She's acquired the name 'Tink', for the obvious reasons that she's gorgeous, girly and small (not as small as the actual Tinkerbell, just small for a human).

On the way back to camp we tried to find the creek where there was a rope swing apparently, but our valiant efforts were fruitless. A strange thing occured next. After being fine all day, Alex then decides that he's having a bad hangover-one of his major ones. This left Alex at the front of the vessel throwing up over the side and Mel and I doing the work (although Mel did sweet fa!). I wasn't impressed and demoted him to 'Deck Hand' immediately. Eventually we arrived back, Alex went to rest and I tried to teach Tink how to cook pasta (yes people, she can't even cook pasta! Mrs Evans if you're reading this, you have your work cut out :-P). Another night of Ring Of Fire, clothes swapping, ridiculous scenarios acted out and harmless stupidity followed. We also met a few more people to note, Ellen, Naz & Ricardo from Newcastle and Mel & Lauren from Slough. 

The wimps that are Jade and Rhi decided that one day of hard kayaking was enough for them and were going to head back to Noosa to beach it up. It turns out they had a bad night as they were approached by some weird Aussie guys. Alex and I on the otherhand were skint and didn't mind roughing it for free for another night. The next morning our numbers were depleted. We went from fifteen kayakers on day one, to seven on day two. The Super Seven; Kev, Lynn, Michelle, Mel, Pascal, Alex and myself. To our delight the second day was a lot easier, the sun was still lashing rays on to our bare backs like a whip, but the wind was with us as was the current. Following on from a stop at a deserted island, the Super Seven found a pub and enjoyed some food and cricket. A similar night to the previous two occurred and we also met Rivka, a Watford lass who we would encounter several times in the next few weeks. 

Alex and I left the freaky, Hills Have Eyes, style, family run, Gagaju Bush Camp in the morning to be reunited with our smiley compatriots, Rhi and Jade. We chilled on the beach, before getting on a bus to Hervey Bay. The four of us were pretty exhausted by this point and needed our days rest before roughing it again on Fraser island. We checked in to a really cool hostel called the Woolshed, very homely. Instead of chilling by the beach, we were confined to the DVD room, it started to rain...

...it continued to pour...

...then the sky tore open and unleashed hell on anyone and everything below. Only the plant life appreciated what was happening and I'm pretty sure I saw a couple of daisies looking like they'd had enough as they slouched on a patch of grass. This was not what we wanted for Fraser Island. Our Fraser Island tour was booked with Palace and I can honestly say, don't go with them! Yes the rain wasn't their fault but they were no way prepared for it, nor the fifty nine guests they ambitiously booked on. Still, we had a strong group and it was fun. Our 4x4 Jeep had the awesome foursome (I've just made that up, we didn't call ourselves that) Jose and Javier (the guys from Chile we met in Gagaju) and Sjila, from Norway. A good bunch. Alex and I would do most of the driving over the next few days, with Jade and Sjila pitching in on occasions.. Jose & Javier were too young and Tink didnt want to (I think it's because I forgot to pack her car seat :-P). We also grabbed this opportunity to recreate the famous bit in Ace Venturer when he's in the Jeep bobbing around to 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang', immature but we were all sufficently tickled. Driving through the mud and sand was also a lot of fun, even in the rain and our many sing-a-longs were also highly comical. A lot of Disney happened. 

Our two tour guides were called Rango and Johnny Ray Tard. Rango was a weathered man, he looked as if he'd been there, done it and done it again. A John Locke type of guy, I liked him. Johnny, well let's just say Johnny was simple. By the time they took us to our 'camp' it was obvious that they had bitten off more than they could chew. The camp site was never going to allow for fifty nine people to cook, eat and drink in the dry. Rumbles of groaning and moaning crept in from the large British contingent. Johnny decided to take us to a nearby hostel instead. Upon our arrival Johnny Ray Tard announced that if we wanted to stay there then we would have to pay $17 a night. Those rumbles of moans soon erupted into angry voices, non more so then mine and Alex's. After a group of us said our piece to Johnny about how "it's the tours fault they haven't prepared for all of us and we shouldn't have to pay", he called his boss. Surprisingly I was given the responsibility of speaking to the boss on the groups' behalf. In a nutshell he said if we didn't want to pay then we go and sit, cook and eat in the rain. I told him how all 59 of us would bad mouth his tour all the way up the coast. He didnt care. So I'm doing it on here too. It was also clear that Johnny didn't want to camp as he was clearly pushing people to pay. Despite mine and Alex's determination, we were never going to camp on our own so reluctantly paid. Luckily we had a lot of fun in the evenings with the standard drinking rules and Ring Of Fire (which we have now compiled the best rules for) game. Fraser really is a beautiful place. Amazing sand dunes, gorgeous lakes, epic cliffs of oranges and pinks and even a cool ship wreck. Even in the rain Lake McKenzie was awesome. Turquoise water, clear enough to see underwater, pure enough to drink. It was something out of a Davidoff Cool Water advert. It was especially fun when the four of us were flipping off each others' shoulders and then having shoulder fights. Tink being on my shoulders, Jade on Alex's, they were both pretty useless to be honest. I'll have to toughen Rhi up at some point. I drove the Jeep back to the hostel, everyone apart from Tink, who kept me company, slept. The cheek of them. I decided to wake them up with a sharp punch on the break and a loud scream. Alex's face was a particular delight. No rest for the wicked, as soon as we arrived back from Fraser we were on another bus. This time to to Agnes Water, 1770. We would be staying here for four nights. Giving us time to chill before our next adventure. 

Agnes Water is a lovely little town, a few shops and restaurants, a gorgeous beach and a few chilled out hostels. It was exactly what the four of us wanted. When we wanted to have a drink, we drank. When we wanted to chill, we chilled. It was good. We stayed at 1770 backpackers, clean, comfy and a free BBQ every night. 1770 is famous for two things, the Cast Away trip, where they fly out 7 of you to a deserted island to sleep for the night and for Scooteroo. Scooteroo is a tour around Agnes Water on mopeds. These are no ordinary mopeds though. They've been kitted out to look like Harley Davison bikes. Big handle bars, red and yellow flames burning along the paint work, some even with the American flag. Money dictated that we do the much cheaper Scooteroo tour and we weren't disappointed. There was a large group of us 'Bikers'; Kay, Ellen, Jenna (a lovely scouse lass from our hostel), Jade, Rhi, Alex and myself. In true biker spirit I donned a bandanna and painted on a Freddy Mercury handle bar moustache, courtesy of Tink's eye liner. Jenna and I also painted LOVE and HATE on our knuckles, yes I know what you're thinking, we are cool!

The actual tour is superbly put together, when you arrive you get given a flamed leather jacket and helmet to match. They also supply you with fake tattoos too, fun times. Alex and I were near the front leading the way with the girls and the rest of the group following. Tink had the pleasure of riding with one of the workers on their 'proper' bikes, continually speeding past us on our measly 50cc bikes. Some of you back home may be thinking how pathetic 50cc is, but it was truly hilarious. I've never felt so exhilarated, cool, and hard at the same time. I want a motorbike. A particular highlight was when Alex and I spent about an hour continually overtaking each other to take 1st position. In the end neither of us won, some Dutch girl overtook us both. I was spitting feathers. Still we had lots of cool photos to remember the occasion and I even got my Hollywood pic of me on the proper bike with a gorgeous blonde (Tink) holding on behind me. Sweet. On the penultimate day in Agnes Water, Rhi wanted to get the middle bit of her ear pierced, the thick bit of cartilage. I went with her as I said I too would get my ears pierced, just the lobes though. Tink's piercing looked painful, in fact I know it was as she had hold of my hands through the whole process. Although she may not look strong, this day she was. Rhiannon crushed the bones in my fingers, now I know what you women feel when discussing child birth. Poor old Rhi was suffering too, the women piercing her ear was really shaky and made Mohamed Ali look steady handed. Still, we both survived and were pleased with the results. I also purchased a Cowboy hat at this time in preparation for my most anticipated day yet, Kroombit Cattle Ranch, aka Cowboy camp. Yeehaa!

As mentioned in the previous blog post, Alex and I had paid to do the Oz Experience instead of the Greyhound bus service. I'm not going to recommend Oz Experience as it just isn't worth the money, however Kroombit Cattle ranch is one of the few things that make it stand out from Greyhound. For those of you who know me well, you'll be aware of my desire to be a real cowboy. I was living the dream. As soon as our Oz Ex bus driver (Sonic) dropped us off, we had a fat steak thrown in front of us to devour. We did. Straight after lunch we were straight to work, goat herding. We were escorted over to the horse stables where Athena the Cowgirl from Luxembourg assigned us our horses. On my form I requested a horse with the name Shadowfax, if you're like Athena and looked at me strangely, Shadowfax is Gandalf's (from Lord Of The Rings) horse and he is also the lord of all horses. I'm not actually sure how he got that title to be honest. Athena stated she had no such horse, but she gave me the horse with the coolest name, which was Ghost, although she was all black. Ironic intentions I think. Alex mounted Mere, Rhi had Callie and Jade had to tame Big Mama (who was only just bigger than a Shetland Pony). I pride myself on being an honest guy so I don't want people thinking I'm making the next bit up, but Alex and I were good, very good as was Tink. Between the three of us we dominated the 200+ goats. Everyone else was left staring into our horses behinds. We shouted, charged, sweated and rounded them up in the afternoon blaze of the north coast's sun. Jade and Big Mama however, thought time was better spent taking photos, struggling to move and an inability to agree on what they were doing. All very amusing for us. The goats were in and we followed Athena back through the creek to the stables. The only bad thing about this is that they wouldn't let me wear my cowboy hat, I had to sport a ruddy safety helmet. How I miss the no-laws of south east Asia. 

The activities didn't stop there, as soon as we were back at base we were taught how to lasso like a real cowboy and then the rodeo started. We had to get in teams of three, it was Kay, Alex and myself. Jade and Rhi teamed up with another girl. In hindsight Alex and I should've split up, but it was too late when we realised only one of us could catch the goat and drag to be branded by the others. We settled it the only fair way, paper, scissor, rock. Alex won, I was gutted, still I had role to do. To his credit Alex did well, within 30 seconds he had grabbed a goat by the horns and wrestled him over to me. I clamped the unwilling guest in between my legs and held him by the horns for Kay to brand. A good team effort. Now the girls. Let's say it was highly amusing. I'll give it to the girl though, Jade has a lot of bottle. Jade edged into the pen with all the angry Billy goats avoiding her. I think she was more afraid. It took Jade a life time, I mean a little over five minutes to eventually grab a goat by the horns and an eternity to drag it over to Rhi and the other girl to be branded. Still she did it and if I'm honest I was really proud of her. Well done Jade you little cowgirl. 

Next up was the shooting range. Shotgun practice with clay pigeons (that's another one off the bucket list). This was a lot of fun and another very manly moment. The sun was setting, leaving strokes of pink, orange and purples across the sky as we pointed our shotgun and sipped our beers. Alex was the top marksman, plucking 4/5 of his clay pigeons. Very impressive. I only hit one, what can I say, the pressure of being first up got to me. Practice will correct this. It was a great afternoon. The evening was also fun-filled, with activities such as whip-cracking, bottle smashing and of course mechanical bull riding, which I won, yeehaa! I also ended up hanging out with two of the workers at the ranch, Athena and Gabby. The three of us, armed with Athena's guitar, sung our hearts out and we duly declared that we'd make a great band. Two cracking girls, who were a lot of fun. I'd like to point out here how impressed we all were with Kroombit. The amount of times Alex and I have been somewhere, whether a tour, a hostel or anything, we've always spotted a way to easily improve it. Or how we could make it a lot better if we were in charge. But not Kroombit. Kroombit rocked and I LOVED being a cowboy. Scooteroo is similar too. Two great ideas, executed brilliantly. Well done to you both, I take my helmet and cowboy hat off to you. 

Only one night at Cowboy camp, in the morning we clambered on to Sonic's bus feeling as ropey as my lasso and headed for Airlie Beach. Better known as the starting point for the Whitsundays sailing tour. The four of us checked in to the BASE hostel at Airlie beach and it was definitely one of the better places we've stayed in. Our boat was called Spank Me, and we had one day before we had to check in. We spent some time checking out the local area, Airlie Beach really is a beautiful place, small but it catered for all your needs and more. Except one, no beach. Note to anyone, don't give a name to something it doesn't have. If you buy a fridge freezer, you get a fridge and a freezer. If you go to a big screen cinema, you get a big screen. So if you name somewhere Airlie Beach, I expect to see a beach. Not a man made 'lagoon'. Anyhoo, still a nice place. Just prior to our departure and we had a most welcome surprise. Our beloved Anton had arrived. It was a pit-stop visit, but still great to see him again. He looked as wonderful as ever and he sounded like he's been having a great time. How many emotional farewell's is that boy going to put us through? We were quite excited about our boat trip, as we knew about half the people on it. Naz & Ricardo, Emily & Michelle, Ashleigh and Tom. So we knew we were in for a good time, or so we thought...

...The Spank Me boat looked impressive. Tall, long and sparkling white. As we climbed aboard the captain asked us to sit so the deck hand could take a register to make sure everyone was there. Due to the obvious excitement of our immenent adventure, there were a few whispering conversations taking place. Harmless. Minor. Not a problem. And this is coming from a teacher. But NO! Captain Kev kicked off. Shouting at us all to be quiet during 'roll call' for safety reasons. Not a great way to welcome your guests captain. Now don't get me wrong, he has a point, but there are nicer ways to speak to people. Captain Kev was a large man. Fag in one hand, his bloody pressure was undoubtedly through the roof, he had more body hair than a gorilla and the slimy smile he wore was enough to make anyone's skin crawl. Perhaps not if his personality was half decent, sadly for him it wasn't. Following on from the first rant, he then continued to tell us "this is my boat, I'm very direct in what I say. I don't mean to offend anyone. If you don't like it - tough!" How very charming of you captain. On a boat named Spank Me I guess we were all expecting a laid back, fun captain. Captain Grumpy then went on to tell us the rules in a condescending manner once more, before announcing "I'm a really funny guy, so you should laugh at my jokes, okay?" Silence... "why aren't you guys laughing?" I'll tell you why Kev, because number one; you're not funny. Number two; in ten minutes you've lost the respect, attention and positive attitude of twenty people out for a fun time. I won't drag the negativity out further, but similar 'chats' happened continuously over the next three days. Don't book Spank Me through Oz Sail. Captain Kev is a _______, you can fill in the blank. 

Now for the positive bits of Whitsundays. All the passengers were brilliant. Everyone was of similar ages, from Europe (mostly UK) and of the same attitude. The evenings were spent with customary drinking games (where we even found Rhi a Tinkerbell cup - she was very excited) and even some magic. Adam, an East Londoner who had just spent three months working in Vang Vieng tubing, was a cool guy. When I enquired into his profession, he said he was a trained hypnotist and magician. If I'm honest, all I thought was "of course you are, get a proper job". How I was wrong. This guy was good. In fact he was amazing. I can't do his tricks justice in words, but he would have you pick a card, write on it and then pull it out of his wallet. I even picked a card and half an hour later he asked me for the time. Being the nice guy that I am I look at my watch, to my astonishment underneath my watch, spueezed between my strap and my wrist, is a folded up playing card. The ten of clubs which I had picked out earlier. Crazy! If you want to see a glimpse of what he can do then search for 'Adam axford are you watching closely', defo worth it. 

The days were spent snorkelling, sailing, sunbathing and ploughing through our books. I was deeply invested in The Game by Neill Strauss by this point and I had successfully got Rhi well into Harry Potter. I love converting people. The visibility whilst snorkelling wasn't great to be honest and there wasn't even a great deal of exciting sea life to see. Alex and I decided to turn around and swim back to the boat, when suddenly I spotted something. A large black fish, about the size of beach ball but a lot thinner. As I circled round to get Alex's attention, the large fish had darted off. We decided to pursue when we froze suddenly in trepidation. A giant, black shape grew from beneath the sand. It was nearly three meters in diameter and we were floating about two meters away. The alien-like sea creature, flapped it's body and majestically glided off in to the dark, blue abyss in front of us. We shot our heads above the water and shared a look of amazement. Definitely the coolest thing we've seen under water, the giant Manta Ray. 

Before we set sail on Spank Me we were quite excited about celebrating Australia Day on a boat, thinking it was going to be one massive party. Captain Cry Baby did enough to end that dream and did nothing to celebrate his countries day with a group of young tourists expecting some fun. Luckily Alex and I didn't rely on others, we had purchased face paints (Australian yellow and green) and pirate costumes. We shared the face paints around, wore our bandanas and thrusted our swords in the air with lots of "g'aaar!" We had also purchased a skull and cross bone flag and tied it to the front of the ship when Captain Hair Ball wasn't looking. Everyone joined in with our obvious immaturity and we had a good day. 

On the final day of the boat trip the crew decided they would wake us up at 6:00 am so we could go to the famous Whitehaven beach, the one you see in all the pictures. The early start was utterly unnecessary and put everyone in a disgruntled mood. Whitehaven is beautiful, even if it was a little overcast. However there is one thing you can't see in the pictures or read about in the pamphlets, the mosquitos. The whole group was molestered by the little irritants. To some extent it did take a bit of the enjoyment away, but after finding two sting rays to chase we got over it. So that was the Whitsundays trip, all in all, despite Captain Creep's efforts, we had a quality time and yet again making some great friends. Back to Airlie beach. 

On our return to Airlie, we checked back in to BASE and were lucky enough to have an even nicer room than previously. After some much needed rest and a stop at the book store, we headed out with everyone from the boat for some food and drinks. Alex and I performed our 'Americano' dance for everyone's amusement and a good night, with some strange locals, was had. In the morning we struggled through blistering heat to jump on the bus to Townsville, gate way to Magnetic Island, which was our next stop. 

Magnetic Island is an amazing place. Completely designed for tourists but it's executed brilliantly. A good bus system circling the island, car hire at reasonable prices, gorgeous beaches, jaw dropping cliffs and rock features and enough activities to keep you entertained for a week solid. Alex and I were only staying for one full day, two nights, Rhi and Jade stayed for extra night to use their accommodation voucher. Our full day together was perhaps one of the best days up the East Coast. Jade and I went to collect a car which we hired for the day. We also rented some snorkelling gear and a stinger suit each, before the four of us headed off to the other side of the island. At Horse Shoe Bay we decided to go on the rubber rings. All four of us chucked on a life jacket, paid $15 and were dragged around the jelly fish infested ocean, at intense speed. Jade was especially apprehensive about the jelly fish and her bikini wasn't the most suitable (as she soon found out when she displayed a lot of herself after her first wipe-out). Alex and I were on the outside, me flanking Rhi and Alex flanking Jade. The look on the girls' face was histerical! Jade actually look like she was about to cry and Rhi was holding on so tight and sat so far in her tube, I thought we'd never get her out. Jade was the first to go, toppling over, skidding along the surface before plunging underneath. As the boat veered round for her to climb in, she announced how her bikini had fallen off, very amusing for us. Alex was next, then Jade and finally me. At one stage we picked up a great deal of speed as our rubber rings tore across the turquoise sheet beneath us. Don't think Rhi got away with not getting wet either. No chance. Our little Tink swallowed her fair share of the ocean and as she announced how she was the only one not fall in, with a smug grin on her pretty face, I flipped her ring over whilst she was still inside. It felt good. Sorry short stuff. 

After a spot of lunch we hopped back into our motor and toured all of the secluded beaches on the island. They were all stunning. Clear water which was warmer than my bath and razor sharp rocks, skirting around the horse shoe beaches, giving it a feeling of significance. Rhi decided to catch some rays whilst Jade, Alex and I snorkelled  the waters to find sting rays and jelly fish aplenty.

It was approaching the evening when we decided to finish up and go and see the Rock Wallabies. Back in to the car like a perfect little family. And that's what we were, a family, Alex, Jade, Rhi and me. By this point we had been together for three weeks,  living together, eating together, planning together, laughing together, everything - together. We've met a lot of people on our travels and got on well with most, if not all. However there's a massive difference between; getting on with people, hanging out with people for a while and living with people you've just met and doing everything together for a month solid. I wouldn't be able to do it with most of my life long friends, in fact Alex is probably the only person I thought I could put up with (and vice versa probably). But just by chance, luck, fate, call it what you will, we found two amazing ladies who we lived with for a month without even a sniff of a problem. If I'm honest it was probably one of the greatest months of my life (don't get big headed girls it was mostly because of what we did) and I'm thankful I spent it with three amazing people.  Enough of the soppyness, where was I? Oh yeah, Rock Wallabies. 

So Alex bought some food and we went to feed the Rock Wallabies, there were loads of them. They're basically like little kangaroos, very cute. We were lucky enough to even get some of the mothers feeding out of our hands, with the little Joeys poking their heads out to say "hello". It was very cool. That brought a close to our action packed day, leaving us to chill in the evening with our room mate from Nottingham, Bianca. Jade and Rhi decided to stay in Magnetic island and use up their free accommodation cards. From what I understand, they enjoyed a scorching day by the pool and missed Alex and I very much, understandably. Alex and I however were moving on. 

The girls dropped us off at the ferry port, knowing they would see us the following day  up in Cairns. That particular bus journey was our last on the Oz Experience, this time our driver was a young Aussie chick named Tommy. Knowing it was our last bus, Tommy decided she would take us for a treat and stopped off at a crocodile farm. Each of us on the bus got to hold a slithering python, and a deadly baby croc (although his mouth was taped shut). Stepping up first to hold the rubber like croc, awarded me with an added bonus. As the prehistoric tike wriggled and attempted to escape my grip, he let out a massive pooh! It landed all over my foot and had a similar consistency to that of bird pooh. Yes yes, laugh it up. That's what everyone who was present did. From then on we were taken on a tour of all the crocodiles. They really are impressive creatures. Perhaps more so than the Komodo dragons we saw in Indonesia (however the fact the Komodo's were wild makes them cooler). The croc guide was feeding the beasts as we watched on only feet away, with a thin wire fence, separating us from certain death. An adult male human can produce 80 pounds of pressure per square inch when they bite. An adult male crocodile can produce 4000 pounds per square inch. You do the math, it's scary. Listening to the sound of their immense jaws clamping together to devour a whole chicken in one go is mighty impressive. Add to that the fact that they can grow beyond 16ft long and can leap up to 8ft high. They truly are amazing creatures, fit for a spot in Jurassic part in my humble opinion. 

We arrived in Cairns where we staying at the famous Giligans hostel. Giligans is truly the bench mark for all hostels on the east coast. It's practically a hotel but with dorm rooms. Air conditioned, clean, balconies, a pool, restaurant, night club and wifi. You even get a free 'meal' every night if you so wish. I use the tern 'meal' flippantly as it's tiny and I'm sure they cook a massive vat of mince once a week and just re-use it six times. Still it's free, so you can't complain. That evening everyone on the Oz Ex bus had arranged to meet in the bar Wool Shed for some games and drinks. It was Mexican night, with some games going on, organised by the venue. One of which was bingo, first person to get five in a row wins, except when you are on four in a row, you must announce it. I was the second one to announce four in a row and was excited to be near to tasting victory. The excitement didn't linger. As soon as six of us had announced for in a row, we were called to the stage for a dance off. I wasn't happy. Each competitor had to dance on their own to a pre-selected track. One girl had a 'booty shake' song, another had 'country music', a german lad had the embarrassing task of 'break dancing' and another had to rock out to AC DC. I was dreading it. With not much in my arsenal of dance moves (bar the robot and a few body pops) I was nervous. However I think I got away lightly, well sort of. My track was 'you can leave your hat on' from the film Full Monty. And that's what I did. I dragged an unsuspecting girl from the crowd, sat her on a chair and did just that, left my hat on. Only my hat. It turns out this worked well and the crowd voted for my victory. Good (and slightly embarrassing) times. 

The girls arrived the next day and the happy family was together again. Cairns was basically the home for everyone we had met up the East coast. Pascal was there, Jose and Javier were there, Kay and Ashleigh, even Grace from Indonesia was there. Whilst in Cairns we thought we should go and see Cape Tribulation. A cape is a place where the rainforest meets the ocean and this is the only place in the world where it happens. There was no way we were going to pay $100 each to get the tour so we hired a car for $66. A bargain when you split it five ways. There was the four of us and Pascal. It took several hours to get there and it was slightly overcast, however it was still very impressive. We also stopped off at a rock gorge and even spotted some wild Cassowaries crossing the road (they're the second largest, flightless birds on the planet).

Following on from our road trip day, was the day of dives. The girls went to Mission Beach to do their sky dive and Alex and I were scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef. The girls had an amazing time. Both stating that after the initial terror, they wanted to go back up and do it again. Jade apparently needed a lot of persuasion to actually get out of the plane and little Tink was last out as she was so light, it would take her the longest to fall. This made me chuckle. Our scuba dive was also incredible. Now fully certified Alex and I could go off where ever we wanted, although we didn't want to waste this opportunity, so we paid $10 for a guide to take us to some cool places. The coral was pretty amazing and we even saw a black tipped shark about 5m away. It was about 2.5m long and looked incredible. Getting better with our air, the two of us managed to stay under for an hour on our second dive and went off on our own to a depth of 23m. All very exciting. In all honesty though, I was expecting more. Maybe because it was the Great Barrier Reef I had high expectations. Maybe I thought an octopus would tickle my face, Ariel (my dream girl) would kiss me, or even get to see a Jamaican talking crab named Sebastian. But sadly I didn't. The Great Barrier Reef was very good, but better than diving in Thailand? About the same and from what I saw snorkelling in Indonesia, I'd guess that the diving is probably better there. We all had a pretty big night after our dives, with many games and even Grace joined us with her new friend Amy. This resulted in the four of us feeling delicate on our last day together as a family. At this point the sky also decided to open. It felt as though the entire ocean had been thrown up into the air and was toppling down on us. Over and over again. Rain, rain and more rain. With little to do we decided we'd go to the cinema together, then later on, tart ourselves up and go out for a meal. We invited Kay, Ashleigh and Javier along as they were still around too. It was a lovely day, which sadly marked the end of an epic adventure with two lovely girls. Alex and I were moving south to Melbourne for two days and the girls had a couple more days in Cairns before heading to New Zealand. It wasn't "goodbye", it was "see you soon", as we promised the girls we would meet one final time in a month when we were all in Auckland. We will definitely keep in contact with girls whilst we travel and when we get back home. They're both amazing ladies, especially the little blonde one, I had a real soft spot for her. Travel safe girls. x

As I wipe the solitary tear drop off my iphone screen, I'll continue with mine and Alex's adventures. Luckily for us Alex had a friend in Melbourne. An old work colleague named Eric, who had offered to put us up for the few nights we were there. There were only two main reasons we were in Melbourne; The Twelve Apostles and Dr Karl Kennedy. I start with the Apostles. For those who aren't aware, the Twelve Apostles are a collection of stone structures protuding out of the sea on Australia's south coast, suitable named 'The Great Ocean Road'. One long, snake like road, meandering around the coast for several hours. The entire coastline is a natural wonder, with intriguing caves, epic cliffs, thundering waters and colossal stone structures standing in the sea, marshalling the south coast. Eric is an extremely generous guy and paid for all three of us to stay in a hotel for a night in Port Campbell. We had a lot of fun, with some food, cards and male bonding. 

When we returned from The Great Ocean Road, there were only two things on our minds; watching the new Thundercats (which is unbelievable by the way) and going to the famous 'neighbours night'. It turns out that during our Thundercat marathon and not wanting to spend money out, we arrived at the Neighbours Night too late. The quiz had finished and the actors had gone home. Well, all but one; Dr Karl (the womaniser) Kennedy. He and his band 'The Waiting Room' were playing a gig. We were elated. We sang along to their covers of Kings Of Leon, Arctic Monkeys, Kasabian and they even did there own version of 'Alice, Alice, who the f*#k is Alice?' replacing Alice, for Susan. Highly entertaining. After the gig, Karl came over to us and we were star struck. We've both met celebrities before, but for some reason the 12yr old girl came out in us both. "I can't believe Dr K is talking to us" I said to Alex, as his smile stretched over his entire little, welsh face. Dr K was a really top bloke, he chatted to us, with a drink for a while and even let us have a few photos taken with him. I kissed his face and for a brief moment i even forget about the  cute blonde I'd left behind in Cairns. What was her name again? Ha ha! Only playing Tink. That night i felt like a god. Add to that the Thundercat marathon from earlier and this might've been the greatest day of my life. We said our farewells to Eric's girlfriend Teres and their cute, but unmotivated dog Missy and Eric drove us to the airport, where our next destination was Sydney, again. 

It was a short stop in Sydney as we were only their to catch a plane early the next morning. However on our arrival we had heard from an unexpected traveller, Anton! This boy is taking us on an emotional rollercoaster. After saying farewell to him up in Airlie Beach, we hadn't expected to see him again until we were back in the UK. Sadly for him, he had to cut his trip short and was in Sydney on his own for a couple of nights. Of course we all met up, shared some stories, ate some food and enjoyed each others' company. The three of us really do make a great team. We bid farewell, I think for the last time (unless he follows us to south America) and wish the handsome Manchester lad a safe journey home. Alex and I headed back to my friend Rachel's house (a girl I know from Southampton who is working out here) and got some shut eye. 

Well that instalment has taken me forever to compose, I apologise if it dragged and applaud you if you made to the end in one go. Next up is the Kiwi Experience in New Zealand and we also get to catch up with our two chums from the Laos tour, Nick and Mark. More excitement awaits. Until next time folks, I bid you adieu. 

Much love,

Tas and Sweed

Xxx

G'day folks,

Firstly I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Years break. Ours was different to the typical Christmas holidays as I'm sure you can imagine, but by heck was it fun. 

I'm really overdue with this update so I'll do my best not to forget anything or anyone-but no promises. The flight from Singapore to Perth was excellent, Qantas airline really know how to treat their customers and they're definitely the best we've flown with so far. Well done Mr Qantas whoever you are. Alex and I were really looking forward to being in Australia, we were fully prepared to let Aunty Jo (Alex's aunt) take care of us - and boy did she. As soon as we got through the arduous Australian border control (where Alex had to have his shoes cleaned and I got laughed at for declaring biscuits) we were greeted with open arms. I immediately felt apart of the family. The Dring family consisted of Emily, the most mature twelve year old on the planet, Jess aged 18, aka One Arm, Charlotte aged 21, who may well be my favourite relative of Alex's, Nigel, Alex's uncle and possibly the nicest, most generous man in WA (that's Western Australia for those who don't know the lingo) and of course Aunty Jo (that's what I called Alex's aunty-Alex just called her 'Jo', I was perplexed!). Aunty Jo is just the most wonderful woman. I can only say that I can't think of enough superlatives to describe her. Generous, kind, funny and the way the whole family took me in (some random stranger) was really something else. Something I will never forget. 

Enough of the soppy stuff, right, this is what went down. The first two days were relaxing and recharging. Perth is a really beautiful city, it has all of the comforts of the UK but is also really new. The houses and shopping centres are extremely modern and each house has so much of it's own land, a rarity back in the UK. 

Aunty Jo took us to a few shops to gather in some essentials and also forced us in to the shopping mall to buy us some 'decent clothes' for Christmas. Apparently we looked like we needed some. A couple of days after our arrival we were then greeted by Charlotte, Alex's eldest of his three cousins. Charlotte had just returned from an adventurous trip to Cairns, we celebrated her return and our arrival by heading out in to the city with Charlotte, her best friend Nadine, Bianca and Aaron. The nightlife in Perth is quite good, ridiculously expensive and quite strict. We all had a splendid time. Aunty Jo was also a saviour as she took Alex, Charlotte and I to the doctors to deal with our holiday illnesses, it was well worth it as the doctor was very beautiful and witty-I also got a free eye test from her. :-) This trip was made slightly more comical (and embarrassing for Aunty Jo) as the three of us decided to wear our elf/Santa hats. We also decided to embarrass Emily by singing a Christmas carol when we picked her up from her friends house. On a side note-no one sings carols out here-they may have beaches but Christmas spirit is hard to come by outside the Dring house hold. 

The next few days revolved around days at the beach, where there were some extravagant sand art attacks involving Charlotte and Emily. The entire Perth trip was mainly dominated by Aunty Jo feeding us. I weighed myself in Perth and it turns out that I had lost a stone in weight since leaving the UK, fortunately for me, Aunty Jo saw it as her mission to feed me up in the days we were to be there. By the time we had left Perth I had gained over half a stone. Good work Aunty Jo. The week building up to Christmas was fun filled and started with one of Alex's epic curries. One of my favourite nights was after we stopped off at Nadine's (Charlotte's best mate) house, after chatting to her extremely friendly dad and playing with their excitable puppy, we went to a wrestling match. This was a particular highlight as it turned out to be lesbian mud wrestling at the local gay club called Connections. I think the two finalists made some 'connections' that night. ;-) Obviously we were only half watching as we were deep in conversation about the recent news of someone doing something, bla bla bla. For those of you who are wondering, the fit one won. 

Christmas Eve was a particular highlight of mine. Aunty Jo and Nigel took the girls, Alex and I out for a fun filled day of golf, drinks, the cinema and a Vietnamese meal. As I'm sure you can all imagine (especially Rich and Walshy) I dominated the golf in typical fashion. Sadly for Alex he spent a lot of time in the rough and as for Uncle Nigel, well, let's just say he liked it in the drink. Young Emily was very impressive and made Charlotte (who was disgustingly hungover, but tried to hide it from her folks-unsuccessfully) look terrible, which resulted in Charlotte cheating-tut tut. A really fun, family day which I haven't experienced since I was a wee nipper. Sadly for Alex he wasn't allowed to get drunk on Christmas Eve, Aunty Jo had heard from mummy Turpitt about Alex's horrible hangovers on the big day (which is also his birthday). I had to stay up quite late on Christmas Eve to sort out Alex's present. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's on Facebook or Viddler under 'mr_sasso', a sweet collaboration of messages from his loved ones. Well worth a watch to see Beck's amazing song, Anton's 'Bruce Lee' or Kat, Claire and Anna doing what they do best. 

On the big day the family were treated to Alex's and my grumblings, due to the fact Roxy the dog had woke us at 6:45 with a lick to the face. I wasn't a happy bunny. We started the day with Alex's birthday gifts and a candle in one of the cookies Emily and I had made the day before. I have to say, it was a lot of fun spending Christmas with a kid, it's just a lot more exciting watching Emily tear through her presents, than watching my sister spend several hours opening one present. No offence Jo-just hurry up and have a kid!

Alex and I also bought some presents for the family. Some celotape for Aunty Jo, Cranium for Uncle Nigel and the girls, a new arm for Jess, a potato gun for Charlotte and a Blackberry for Emily (made out of foam to our amusement). By 10:00am all the presents were open and we were off to the packed beach. We had just missed a shark sighting by the time we got down there, apparently there were 10 sightings in Perth on Christmas! We survived. To celebrate a beach Christmas we dug the biggest hole and then burried me in it. At first I thought I looked cool whilst sipping a cider, but I then had a panic attack as I couldn't move-instantly losing whatever 'coolness' I had. Alex and Charlotte laughed, swines! Christmas dinner was very typical and we were also joined by Steve, a family friend. Chilling by the pool drinking cider was pretty strange for December 25th, but definitely something I could get use to. 

Boxing day was quite a day. Aunty Jo wanted rid of us youngsters as she was taking on the grand task of entertaining thirty guests with a feast fit for a king. Charlotte took us a couple of hours North with her friend Mya (a hot Welsh mum) and her two Welsh pals Dean and Sam. We hired some sand boards and spent the next few hours surfing the endless white sand dunes, or to be correct, attempting to surf them. This was awesome at first, however we were all soon fed up as the wind was ferocious and blasting sand all over us. I can best describe it as the sand storm from Star Wars Episode One, the bit where Anakin takes them to his home on Tatooine. On the way home Charlotte and Mya took us to a small lagoon for a dip, before we went home and overindulged on the left overs from the banquet. According to Charlotte, it would be rude to not get drunk on our last night, so we played a few games and went round Charlotte's friends house with Mya and the Welsh boys and laughed the night away. 

An early start for the morning of our departure, I found it extremely sweet that the whole family came to see us off at the airport and if I'm honest a little emotional. Even Alex said he didn't expect to be looked after that well and as for me, I was taken aback by the treatment I received. Not just the generosity I received but I was treated (and felt) as part of the family. I will definitely stay in touch.

To add to the emotion, when checking in and getting our seat numbers, we had a terrible realisation. We were separated! Usually we joke with each other and lie about our seat numbers to worry the other-this time it really happened. Our faces dropped. The next four hours aboard flight 583 to Sydney were to be the longest Alex and I would've been apart since the start of our trip. Armed with a load of movies, free beer and aeroplane food, I got by without Alex. I'm not sure how he coped but he had red eyes as he exited the plane.

Fortunately for us and our purses, we had another rent free period on our travels. Alex's old school friend named Jo, now lived and worked in Sydney. She was kind enough to offer us a sofa and a floor, this was fine for us two, globe trotting, roughians. Jo was also being hospitable to two others, young ladies, Heather To from Scotland and Sam from England. With five off us sharing a small apartment it could've got tricky, luckily everyone was laid back and we all instantly got on delightfully. 

Armed with Alex's GPS it didn't take us long to get from the airport to the flat and when we arrived the girls were well in to a box of wine. We went out to the Coogee Bay Hotel in Coogee and had plenty of giggles and drinks. A cracking start to Sydney. We always knew Sydney would be a busy time for us, we had so many people to catch up with from the last few months of our travels. During the build up to New Years Eve we managed to meet up with our dear friend Harry who we hadn't seen since Full Moon Party in Thailand. We had lunch and it was great seeing him again. If we thought Perth had strict bouncers, then Sydney's are super strict. Sexist towards men, generally rude and sometimes abusive of their power. Still, the backpacker clubbing scene is good in Kings Cross, lots of fun and random people all over the place. Seedy sex shops everywhere, strip joints and anything else you could imagine seeing in some of London's Soho streets. 

The weather was absolutely scorching at the end of December, particularly on the day we went to do the tourist thing. We've been terrible in Australia organising ourselves. Aunty Jo had made life too easy for us. We waltzed up to to the ticket booth at Darling Harbour and found a pretty lady waiting to be helpful. She asked where we wanted to go, we looked at each other confused before the lady spotted we had no clue. "Unorganised backpackers by any chance?" smiling at us, we gingerly nodded and replied "tell us what to do please".

Next thing we know, we're on a ferry past the iconic opera house and Sydney bridge. And yes, we took all the clichè post card photographs. The ferry was on route to Manly where we had a good lunch and chilled on the rammed beach. Just to point out here, it's quite clear that Australia is full of beautiful women. I mean, everywhere. The streets are also cleaner and guess what, they're even guaranteed sunshine in their summer. Doesn't make me miss Southampton much (I miss my people though).

She's going to hate me for this next paragraph but I'm going to write it anyway. Perhaps one of my most favourite people back home, Anna-Cher Lloyd-Brooks Beckman has a delightful cousin based in Sydney, Kimberley. We had met Kim last year at Anna's birthday and she had promised to take us around if we ever made it on our trip, which we had talked about for so many years. We rendezvoused with Kim and her bloke Andrew at a local bar in Clovelly. There were many drinks, dances, jokes and conversations about how we miss Anna. But many more about the funny stuff she has done whilst Kimberley has been out here (my favourite being when Anna ran in to a shop front). Kim even let us call Anna from her mobile, this made my month! We later found out that Alex and I also bumped in to Kim and Andy at the petrol station on the way home, trying to get some food. It turns out that Kim arrived just as Alex and I were playing a trick to confuse the cashier by swapping places, she filmed this as well as the dance for the cashier which followed. Cheers Kim. 

The Sydney days are as fun as the nights, with countless beaches to get lost in or even just walking the coastal walk from Coogee to Bondi Beach. A day before New Years Eve and we were in for a treat. Anton had arrived in Sydney. The excitement between us couldn't be contained, as we met up with the charming, often naked, physics teacher. To my delight he was sat on Bondi Beach with a group of beautiful young ladies, most of whom hailed from Swindon (unfortunately for them, ha). The three of us shared hugs and stories about what adventures we had endured during the six weeks since our parting. It felt like catching up with a best friend I've known for years. We then got to know the Swindon girls, Hannah who was part Swedish, Jess a soon to be primary school teacher who is going to break many Year 6 hearts (beautiful) and Sacha, the stunning law student soon to be a barrister. They were also travelling with a Swedish girl named Becka who fitted in with the girls seamlessly. Alex, Anton, the girls and myself made plans for New Years Eve, parted ways to get supplies and arranged to get together early on New Years Eve. At this point I also bit the bullet and had my hair cut for the first time since April. The AC Slater 'Afro mullet' was getting out of control. 

I've always been sceptical about New Years Eve. It's always a massive build up and often an equal dissapointment. I feared the excitement I had for spending NYE in Sydney may tee me up for the worst night ever. I was wrong. Boy I was wrong. The best NYE ever. We had set up camp in Belmein East in a small park, armed with snacks, music, games and goon. The sun was beaming so bright that everything just looked better; the grass was greener, the sky was bluer, our tans were better and everyone, everywhere looked like nothing could stop them from having a good time. To my astonishment I was approached by two familiar faces, Andrea and Julie. Two Irish girls we first met on a night boat in Thailand, I hadn't seen them since the morning after Full Moon Party. Their friends were right next to us so we all spent the day having fun, chatting and generally enjoying life. By the time night fell, everyone was very merry to say the least and poor Anton was even 'resting his eyes' as the fireworks were going off. Now usually I'm not a fireworks man. "Once you've seen one, you've seen them all!" was my regular line. I'll be the first to put my hands up and say I was impressed. They were fireworks of epic proportion-I was impressed. Ruby reds and dazzling blues rained over our heads as we all danced, hugged, kissed and celebrated entry to the new year. In all the excitement the group had split up. So being the responsible gents we are Alex and I missioned it Kings Cross to make sure Sacha and Jess got home ok. The journey home also consisted of me bumping into a family who were celebrating on the street, typically it ended with both their small children using me as a human climbing frame. Eventually we got back to the flat and got some shut eye. 

In the morning we moped around watching Star Wars and generally feeling sorry for ourselves. There is one cure for this-the sea. Luckily we were right by loads of it. A meeting with our dear companion Grace (from our Komodo trip) aka Granger was arranged at Clovelly beach. Grace was staying with her friend Liv and the four of us spent some time reminiscing and sharing more stories. I think Grace likes hanging around with us as it gives her someone to nag and equally we enjoy playing tricks on the poor girl. It really is affectionate Granger. Grace had wanted to do the trip to see the Blue Mountains, about two hours north of Sydney. We agreed and would see her in a couple of days. 

Anton met with us again and we walked up to Tamarama beach to meet Kat and Holly (the two spunky Scouse girls we've been meeting since our first rendezvous in Laos). Holly's family were also there, her mum, dad, cousins and her beautiful sister Abby. One thing led to another and what was supposed to be a quiet night in before the Blue Mountains, ended up in us going out one more time with Anton, Kat and Holly. As us three boys were heading back to Anton's hostel I bumped into a familiar face, Rachel Doswell a fellow teacher who is also from Totton and who I use to work with at Totton Rec. A small world. As Anton tarted himself up we persuaded the Swindon girls that the fate of their night was with us. We all threw, cut and diced some shapes like there was no tomorrow. 

Typically, us two oldies struggled in the morning and were late meeting Grace at the station. She went on without us and was not impressed. When we eventually arrived we soon sweet talked her round. The walk to the Blue Mountains was hot, a stop off at Aldi to grab a picnic occured and when we arrived Alex and I were feeling it. However, we soon sucked it up and the view sorted us out instantly. Wow. A field, no wait, a valley of endless, towering, emerald green tree-tops as far as the eye can see. The mountains to the right a deep blue haze (apparently from the eucalyptus) and the famous rocks 'The Three Sisters' to the left, protruding the tree-tops like three watchmen of the forest. To our surprise this was not just a view point but also a massive trek, 900 steps down into the forest a three hour walk across the forest and another 900 steps back up. I realised I wasn't dressed appropriately. Oh well. I did it and it was good. I probably needed a good sweat by this point. The picnic was also very beautiful looking out at the Blue Mountains, it might've even been romantic if I wasn't stuck with Alex and Grace! I'll take the future Mrs Sasso there one day if she ever shows herself. Sat at the station at the Blue Mountains and i found myself bumping in to another Southampton girl. Dawn Marshall, the former PE co-ordinator at a school near Blackfield. Dawn had decided that her teaching future was to be in New Zealand after exploring Australia. If I'm honest, i can't blame her. 

This was our last night in Sydney, we were exhausted and our train didn't get in until 9:30. Still we managed to find time to say another good bye to Anton, and Kim and Andy even picked us up for a farewell drink. We said so long to Jo, Heather and Sam and got a few hours shut eye before we boarded the Oz Bus at 6:00 am.

To our dismay the coach was an hour late. After about five hours sleep in two days, we were not happy bunnies. Eventually it arrived and out jumped the driver, "Sorry I'm late folks, I woke up late! Get on." Not a great start and it made it worse that the driver looked about twelve, his name was Scratch. I'd just like to share my indignation here. We booked our Oz Bus ticket in June, all payed for and sorted. When booking our seats on the Bus we were told that we had to pay an extra $150 as Oz Bus had been taken over by GreyHound and if we wanted the 'Oz Bus' experience we had to pay. Obviously we were livid, tried complaining but got nowhere. So we paid. So when the 21yr old Scratch rocks up and says "Get in!", no one even needs to sign in. Anyone could've got on. I was spitting feathers. I closed my eyes and got over it...

...The first stop on the Oz Bus was Spot X. A surf camp in the middle of nowhere. As we arrived we were greeted by the staff and the devastating site of a 50 person check-in que. We settled in a room with two girls, Tori from England, and the exotic Camilla from Columbia. Alex and I grabbed some food and had some drinks with Rachel and Fiona from Dudley, and Kay who was also English. The morning was an early start, our surf lesson was at 8:30am. In comparison to our lesson in Uluwatu, this was a lot more successful. A few hours at spot X and Alex and I were much improved surfers. After a spot of lunch we were back on the bus and en route to Byron Bay. 

Scratch had us playing some 'get to know you' games on the bus which were fun. Mine and Alex's three secret questions were clearly the most entertaining and embarrassing for the others to answer. We all chuckled. Byron Bay is perhaps one of my most favourite places ever. The hostel we stayed in was called Holiday Inn and I definitely recommend it. It's just across the road from the famous bar called 'Cheeky Monkeys'. We were roomed up with two ladies we met in the que to check in, the lovely Jade an account and the beautiful Rhiannon, a dental nurse who reminds me of tinkerbell, both from Kingston. We all got on really well and went off to get some supplies and book our trip to Nimbin. I'll come back to Nimbin shortly. 

That night Scratch took all of us from Oz Bus to Cheeky Monkeys, it was a wet t-shirt competition (my favourite type of competition if you were you wondering). It was a fun night, we all played many games and danced the night away. Camilla won the contest, deservedly so. In the morning Alex, Jade, Rhiannon and I headed for the beach-it was beautiful. Definitely one of my favourite beaches so far. Kay and Rachel also joined us and I produced yet another sand art attack. This time turning Jade into a deadly Australian spider! Scary stuff. On our departure from the beach we were cornered by a gorgeous travel agent named Alexa. We spent the next hour and a half with her booking all our trips and sorting everything out for the cheapest price possible. Phew. Another evening out in Byron Bay, this time we were joined by two ladies from Holkyoaks, Violet and Shearer. Both of whom were very feisty and fun. 

An early morning followed with our first of many excursions over the coming weeks. The previously mentioned Nimbin tour. For those of you who have never heard of Nimbin, I will give you a brief description. I do however suggest you google it, or even better, go yourself. Our Grass Hopper tour of Nimbin was led by the famous Jim, who took us to a hidden waterfall about an hour outside of Byron Bay. The group of about 20 of us all proceeded to swim, paddle, and dive off of various heights of cliffs. Alex and I set the tone with back flips and tandem bombs. This was easily the best waterfall we've been to, as we couldn't dive in to the others in Asia. Continuing the tour, Jim led us to a beautiful lake view by a dam where he cooked us a tantalising steak and sausage BBQ. Yum. Now for the part which Nimbin is famous for. Apparently the laws in Nimbin are VERY relaxed and it has a very strong hippie culture. It made for some very interesting people watching and the museum was, well, colourful to say the least. We all had a giggle. A day to remember for sure. Sadly that was the end of Byron Bay, a definite place to return to. 

Now travelling as a foursome, we hoped on a bus to Surfer's Paradise a couple of hours north. Due to our now hectic schedule we were only in Surfer's Paradise for two nights. We spent the opening day sorting out admin stuff and chilling by the beach. In the evening we went out for a meal with three people from Leeds who were at our hostel; Matt, Jenny and Jacko. The beaches in Surfer's Paradise stretched as far as the eye could see. The sand was soft and the waves were challenging. This truly was a paradise for surfers. We spent some time exploring the city as we didn't really want to spend much more money. Surfer's Paradise is home to the second tallest apartment building in the southern hemisphere, The Sky Tower. A service lift operated taking you to level 77 for an outstanding view of the city. Here I also learned that this is where bikinis were first brought to Australia and this was also the birth place for the global brand Bilabong. Every day is a school day. That would be our last bit of quiet time for a while, our bus to Brisbane was at 8:00pm and the following day we were set to go to the world famous Australia Zoo, home to the legendary crocodile hunter, the late Steve Irwin. 

Usually I'm not much of a fan of zoos. Animals being cooped up when they should be out, majestically prowling in the wild, upsets me. This however was really cool. Stroking and laying with kangaroos, trained birds performing amazing stunts, small tigers bounding vertically up trees and elephants marauding around and squirtinting water when they were too hot. All really enjoyable, but this was not the best bit, the crocodile show was. In previous years this was all about Steve Irwin, the Aussie we all use to see on our TV screens saying "Crickey!". Luckily for us, as we were there during the summer holidays, we had a treat. The crocodile show we saw was performed by non other than Mrs Irwin and her two children. Crocodiles are basically dinosaurs, they've been around since dinosaurs, survived three ice ages and have the ability to learn from their mistakes. Basically they're not worth messing with. Personally I thought it a little cringe worthy having Steve's daughter taunting the beast, still it was entertaining by the end and at no point did I hope she would trip and get snapped at by the prehistoric croc (I didn't want her to get hurt-just scared).

Well people that's it now. You're all up to date, we're currently on a bus to Noosa as I write this. When you read this I will probably be exploring the dangerous lakes on our four day kayaking trip. I'll try not to take so long to update again. I know it must be a laborious read for you guys. Still our blog has had over 1500 reads now, what a bunch of psycho stalkers! 

You're all loved really, especially you. You know who you are. 

Sasso and Sweed, over and out. 

Xxx 

Hello beautiful people,

You join me here on another blog update, I hope you're enjoying the updates of our journey. We have now finished Part 1, South East Asia. The following entry includes our trip to Gili Trawangan, a boat tour to Flores (Komodo Dragons), another trip to Gili Trawangan and a tour of Bali. I hope you enjoy.

Our day in Sengiggi was quiet, as it unfortunately poured down. I know we whinge about the rain in England, but when it it rains out here, it really gives it everything. Luckily we had met Becka and Kelly, had lunch with them and then just explored the area.

It was an early rise to get on our bus to the port at Bensar. When we arrived at the drop off we met a delightful group of girls. Little did we (or they) know that we would be spending the next two weeks together. I over heard them talking about a trip to see Komodo dragons for a cheap price, so I immediately went over to investigate. They all seemed extremely friendly, 3 English girls; Grace, Rosie and Alice and 2 Scottish lasses; Danni boi and Lyndsey. We all took a short boat trip to Gili Trawangan (basically paradise) and split up to find the best accomadation. Amazingly two of the girls found air conditioned rooms, with hot showers, twin double beds, tv/DVD player, DVDs AND breakfast. All for 50,000 Rupia each (about £3 a night each). For all of you who have teavelled South East Asia you will appreciate how incredible that offer is. The name of the place is Funny Guest House for all of you future travellers. The owner 'Mr Easy' was also a lovely chap. That night was spent celebrating Rosie's 22nd which also involved a late night swim for some of us. The rest of the days were spent on the white sand beaches, snorkelling in the turquoise water and (for me anyway) building Art Attacks in the sand. My favourite ones being Rosie as 'My Little Mermaid' and most of all Dani as my magnificent 'Octopus'. The picture will eventually make it onto Facebook when Danni sorts her life out. Alex and I also had the pleasure of meeting up with our two Scouse friends; Holly and Kat. The evenings on Gili T consisted of gorgeous sunsets (where Alex and I played around with some 'exotic' silhouettes we could create), a few tropical cocktails and some shape throwing in Ruddy's and the Irish Bar.

Travelling the world is a wonderful thing. It opens your eyes to other cultures, it helps you meet a variety of people you would never usually talk to, it helps you learn about a whole host of things, yourself, others, the world and what you want to do with your life. But it really does make you start to be uber careful with your cash (well it's taken nearly two and a half months for us to learn this), because if you're not two things will happen. One; you have to start missing out on stuff, or Two; you have to go home early. Unfortunately we're slightly experiencing number one currently. We are determined not to experience number two. I appreciate you don't care as we're still having a great time but we really would've liked to have done a couple more dives as they're meant to be incredible in Indonesia. Ah well, plenty of time for more fun. This leads us to our next adventure, Komodo island. We knew funds were tight and even though we were desperate to see Komodo Dragons, the advertised tour prices of 5,000,000 Rupia (£320) were just too much for us. To our joy, the lovely Lyndsay and gorgeous Grace found a Komodo trip for under £100. We were sold. 3 nights, 4 days on a boat with food and water included. A bargain. Deal of the century. We bit their hands off. So with a blazing Saturday sun lashing down on our backs we took a boat to Bensar and a bus across Lombok to get on our boat for the next 4 days. The 'Komodo Four' was born: Alex, Grace, Lyndsay and myself. The crew of 5 blokes collected supplies on the way to the boat and to the girls' dismay, they also purchased a live chicken (Grace and Lyndsay were vegetarian and somewhat animal lovers).

If you were to glance over the itenary for day one you would see 'snorkelling at a remote location near a deserted beach where we will sleep for the night if not raining', "excellent" we thought. This didnt happen. It rained. Correction, it was THE END OF THE WORLD. At least that's what it felt like, the most enormous thunder and lighting storm engulfed the sea which surrounded us. We were bang, smack in the middle of it. The modest boat which looked majestic in the searing glare of the sun, suddenly felt out of it's depths. Swaying viscously from side to side, front to back and creaking as if it was about crumble under the power of the elements. Lightning lit up the sky, whilst electric forks plummited right in front of us, whilst the thunder made your bones rattle and teeth chatter. Alex and i loved it, Grace was nearly crying. To it's credit, the little boat survived the night, as did we. We entertained ourselves with stories about our pasts, games, debates and endless banter. At this point I should mention the other 3 people on our boat, a Czech couple who kept to themselves and Mark, a perculier chap from England who said quite a few incorrect/strange things. He was well intended though, so no harm.

On day 2 it started. The sickness, Akex was hit first. Stomach ache, a real bad stomach bug. Hygiene is never amazing in South East Asia, but it was awful on this boat. Alex was in a bad way. Our first expedition was through a jungle on a deserted island in East Indonesia, where we would find a beautiful waterfall. We all played about in it and even had a wash in the fresh water as it cascaded over us. That moment could definitely have been used in a Loreal advert. Our guide 'Bam Bam', also led a few of us up the face of the waterfall to a secret pool which was 4m deep. The girls and myself spent the next half hour trying to out do Bam Bam with dives and bombs from the over hanging rocks and branches.

As we arrived back on the boat, lunch was surved and poor Alex was really in a bad way. He would spend the rest of the day in bed. Later that day we dropped anchor at another deserted island where would discover an enormous salt water lake. It was picturesque with hills surrounding it, making you feel completely hidden from the world. Lyndsey, Grace and I would spend the next hour swimming/treading water and chatting about random topics. If I remember correctly we had a lot to say about childhood obesity, (during our trip we discussed and debated many topics, we're even thinking about starting our own political party. I obviously shotgunned 'party leader'). I also managed to tick off another item on my bucket list here; Naked wild swimming, couldn't have picked a better place to do it either (although I was apprehensive due to the possibility of a tropical creature thinking that my little man might be a meal). Back on the boat and on to Komodo island. In contrast to the first night, night two was beautiful. It's amazing to see the night sky without the light pollution you get from the cities in the UK. I've never seen the stars so bright or the moon so big. Lyndsey, Grace and I sat up for hours laying on the front of the boat, staring at the sky, talking about many random topics again. Lyndsey also taught us several words which the Scottish have made up. For example; 'jag' means 'stab', 'raj' meaning 'raging' and 'ockles' (not sure that's entirely correct but it's something like that) means 'arm pit'. Lyndsey also shared a quite horrifying story with us, I can't divulge all information, but trust me when I say that you don't want to mess with her. And if you do, don't stand in front of her.

On day 3 Bam Bam woke us up at stupid o'clock (6:30am - I thought I was meant to be on holiday) for some breakfast. By this point The Bug had got victim number 2, Grace. Grace and Alex were trying their best to get on with things but it was clear they weren't feeling great. Lyndsey and I did our best to look after them without showing how smug we felt that it wasn't us. The Komodo Dragon is the largest lizard on the planet and is basically the closest thing to a dinosaur. You can only find them on this island in Indonesia or Easter island in South America, so they're very rare (only about 1000 remain apparently). Komodos are famous as they are strong, ferociously quick, bad tempered, cannibals and extremely deadly-a boys dream. The mouth of a Komodo harbous so many deadly bacteria that one small bite to any creature of any size (including humans) will kill it within a week. Funnily enough, the only cure for this deadly bite is over a days boat ride back to Bali (someone obviously thought if smart not to keep the antidote with the dragons-I'm not sure why).

The Komodos were amazing, really breath taking in the flesh, and actually quite nerve racking. Alex and I made a pact that we would fight a Komodo until it obeyed us and seeing as none of you were there, that's the story I'm sticking with. The remainder of the day was spent snorkeling around the islands (which looked like Jurassic Park by the way). Grace, Alex and myself even swam around an entire island. It took an hour and a half and at the end Grace and I sat on the beach of this island, quietly content knowing that we would be the only ones sat on this particular island, for that day at least anyway. That night was to be our last on the boat and therefore meant our last dinner, out comes the chicken. Now with people feeling ill and the girls not wanting to hear an animal being murdered, the next 15 minutes wasn't pleasant for most people. For me, I found it quite fascinating. I don't want anyone to think I'm sick, or cruel, but I asked if I could watch the chicken being 'prepared'. My reason being is that I wanted to know what I would have to do if I ever needed to kill a chicken to survive and eat. I learnt a lot. Poor little guy. I never really believed that whole story about a chicken surviving for however many hours after his head was chopped off, but I was gobsmacked that after four minutes of having it's throat slit and blood drained out, this little bird was still kicking and jerking around under the bucket they had trapped it under. Very interesting, I wonder if this is only with chickens-I'll look it up at some point. Dinner was served, sadly the little guy wasn't that tasty, I'll blame it on the cook.

The final morning of the trip will never be forgotten, it was the day of the fish attack. Yet again Bam Bam wakes us up at 6:30 so we can go and climb a small mountain on a remote island. The morning sun was unforgiving but the view at the top was equally rewarding. Bright blue, untouched waters, surrounded by endless, small, mountainous islands. I wish I had taken my camera. Someone should definitely shoot a movie here, maybe I'll do it. After a rest, we descended to the beach and threw on some snorkelling gear to explore the shallows. Suddenly I hear screams. Grace looked like she was in trouble! I couldn't see anything large enough to cause a real scare, so I approached and enquired. According to Grace a small yellow fish was "trying to eat me", I laughed. To my dismay I then saw a flash of yellow dart towards me. A fish the size of a mars bar was going for me. I then spent the next 5 minutes punching and kicking the water in an attempt to get this aggressive little guy away. Eventually I swam away and the fish spent an equal amount of time attacking Lyndsey and Alex. As Alex returned to the boat we spotted that the sneaky guy had followed him the whole way (about 30m). Quite a clever fish I think you'll agree. After an hour sunbathing on the boat, Lyndsey decided to jump in and cool off. As we watched her dismount and very untidily enter the water, we saw the sneaky yellow fish comd from underneath the boat and attack her. Lyndsey screamed and quickly climbed aboard. The rest of us found this highly comical. Amazed by the intelligence and cunning of the fish, Alex and I snorkelled up and went to investigate. Obviously we were attacked and spent the next 5 minutes looking incredible stupid by throwing kicks and punches at a tiny fish in the water. We retreated. Tigglet (his new name) would spend the next few hours hiding underneath the bottom step of the ladder to our boat. He was so clever that when we moved the ladder, he followed the step, making sure he was hidden the whole time, ready to pounce when we let our guard down. The non-pirate crew raised the anchor and set course to Labuan Bajo, the harbour in Flores. Goodbye little Tigglet.

I've mentioned before about how poor the 'lonely planet' book has been. If you look up Labuan Bajo, it says "it's the new up and coming place to be". That's a lie. It's pretty run down and not a lot going on. Still though it suited our needs, a bed and shower was what we all really needed after roughing it on the boat for four days. After, we freshened up we relaxed by a sea view bar and planned our next moves. There wasn't a lot happening in Flores (that's the island we were on) that accommodated our budgets so we all decided to get the 30 hour ship back to Lombok the following morning.

The rooms weren't the coolest and the sun was at it's mightiest, so after an intimitent sleep we all ventured out for breakfast at 6:30am to catch the 7:00am ferry. Fortunately the ship had a VIP section for £1. We signed up and enjoyed the air con and comfy seats. I will now mention that both Lyndsey and Grace are two very pretty ladies and having this 'curse' means they have to put up with South East Asian men looking at them all the time. They both put up with it well, but there was one chap sitting near us who even started to irritate me. After several hours of watching Lyndsey sleep, talk and just sit, I confronted him and asked him if all was ok. He smiled innocently-dirty old man. Our ferry crossing took the best part of the day and we passed the time with a heated debate about which was better, a vegetarian diet or a meat diet. Eventually we exited the boat and jumped on a bus which would take us to the coach station. The weird guy from the boat followed us and kept enquiring about Lyndsey. Desperate not to be rude to people from other cultures we just ignored him. The coach ride was an all nighter, we weren't due on to the next ferry until 2:00am and we were the only tourists on the coach, so they stuck us at the back. Grace being Grace had three seats to herself and Alex and I made use of our solitary seat each. I can honestly say I didn't sleep at all. This was also due the fact the roads we were driving on were twisting and turning, hugging the edge of mountains and overlooking dramatic cliff side drops. There are also no barriers on these 'death roads'. Add to this the occasional boulder which was sitting on the road like a stray dog. Still though, we got through it and arrived on our final ferry trip back to Lombok. This was to be the last time we would see our Scottish lass Lyndsey who went to the airport whilst Grace, Alex and I headed back for a second stint in Gili Trawangan.

During the short boat trip to Gili T, Alex and Grace got chatting to two Swedish girls; Hannah and Elanor. I ended up being asked if I minded having my photo taken by these tourists from Java (a neighbouring island) this isn't the first time this has happened. I found it amusing, pulled a funny face and got chatting to them. It turns out they are all teachers so we had a lot to discuss.

On arrival in Gili T we darted for the best accommodation in South East Asia, Funny Guest House. He had one room left. We were thrilled, the three of us shared a room, Alex and I were happy to share a double bed, wasn't the first time and won't be the last. That evening 'the sickness' hit me and hit me hard (Lyndsey facebooked us and informed us that she had it too-we were no longer smug). Unfortunately I was bed ridden for a couple of days, thankfully it rained a lot and I was armed with air con and a fist full of wachable DVDs. On day 3 of Gili T, Grace and I rented out a kayak with a glass bottom. The weather wasn't ideal but nevertheless we braved the elements and made it across to Gilli Meno, the neighbouring island. Mr Hinks would've been proud of me after teaching me this summer. Grace and I made our mark in the sand and explored the island. At this point Alex had retreated to the room due to a very painful injury to his elbow which came on spontaneously. Our last evening before returning to Bali consisted of a late lunch and some local vegetables. We had a lot of fun entertaining ourselves and met six new friends, Mary and Betty (sisters), Gary and Whang and Captain Jack and Steve (aka Beans)-they were brothers from America.

Eventually we touched down in Kuta, Bali after 10 hours of travel, found a place to stay, ate some cheap food and slept. Our slumber was interrupted at an unearthly hour with viscous down pours, making it difficult to sleep properly. By 9:30 we were up and busy tucking into a pancake breakfast. This would also be the day that we would be reunited with Danni, Alice and Rosie who had returned after a short trip to Perth. Grace who is planning on training to be a teacher next year offered to try and teach me how to surf. I rented a board and tried my hardest, it was still difficult, although I had no doubt improved since my first attempt in Pedang Pedang. Grace also said that the waves were terrible-this helped my confidence. I tried to sound like a surfer by using vocabulary such as; 'rad', 'dude', 'narly' and 'sick', but Grace just looked embarrassed and said I sounded silly. I felt like a parent trying to be cool in front of their kid but actually achieving the polar opposite. For some reason I've got the feeling this won't be the first time I have this feeling in my life. That evening we all ventured out to the local establishments and enjoyed the complementary drinks in Sky Garden and shape throwing which generally follows. Poor Rosie lost her camera, I know her pain.

Due to a severe lack of funds Alex and I were looking for day activities for minimum expense. We decided on spending our last few days in Bali off the beaten track and hired a moped between us to tour the island. For four days it cost us under £10, a bargain. On Day one we made course for Amed in the north. Black volcanic sand beaches, pretty cool. It took us six hours to get there and whilst Alex was driving we got pulled over by the local law enforcement as Alex had put a wheel too far over the line at a red light. They basically just see tourists as easy money so a 250,000 (£17) rhupia pay off sorted that out. There wasn't a great deal to do in Amed, unless you had money for a dive (which we didn't) so we enjoyed some local food and relaxed by the sea. Alex reading his Jack Reacher book, me reading my Jack West book and writing this blog. Determined to see some of Bali's natural beauties and armed with Alex's GPS on his phone, we headed west to Kintamani. En route we would see plenty of small villages with a back drop of two epic mountains which had their peaks in the clouds. A great site. Once we reached Kintamani we realised that we must have ben over 1000m above sea level as the clouds were very close now. We were sat on the edge of Mount Batur (an active volcano) and the truly epic Lake Bakur. Next to each other they definitely made a great post card photo. By the way, to all of you expecting post cards to drop through the letter box, I do apologise but in all honestly it's just not going to happen. Emails are just easier, quicker, cheaper and better for the environment (the latter reason obviously being my main catalyst for this decision-not laziness). ;-)

After leaving Kintamani we decided to head south to Ubud. It was a basically one straight road so we just let the little moped stretch her legs. The wind brushed against our faces (as did the occasional bug), we weaved through the traffic and cruised the streets without a care in the world, singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of our lungs. The blistering heat was hidden from us due to the breeze created by cruising at speed. We would eventually realise how hot it was when we pulled over to see the magnificent tiered rice paddy fields along the way. The Balinese had created what looked like grass pyramids built in to the side of the mountains. This also made for an excellent form of water irrigation and also protected their crops from flooding in comparison to a flat paddy field. It took us just over an hour but we eventually arrived in the much talked about Ubud, a lively place full of all manners of arts and crafts made by the locals.

Ubud was completely different to the other places we had visited on our moped tour, bustling with tourists and busy streets. This however was not the same as Kuta. The clientele of Ubud was much classier than Kuta and definitely aimed more at families and the more mature adult. Ubud is full of restaurants, markets and endless amounts of arts and crafts for the every day tourist to take back with them and reminisce. The one problem we found was that Ubud was not designed for the penny pinching backpacker. It took us a while to find somewhere reasonable to eat, but when we did it was worth it. A tiny alley way in a side street led us to the most delightful restaurant. The walls down the alley way were lined with all types of canvas paintings, and the restaurant reflected the quirky nature of the approach. Obviously none of that mattered if the food was no good. It wasn't. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say it was in the top three meals we'd had since we'd been travelling. I had the Semur Chicken. Google it and try it yourself, I will be when i get home. Yum.

One night in Ubud was enough for us, so in the morning we ventured down to the Monkey Forest before we left the city. These monkeys were viscious. And there were hundreds of them. The forest which they inhabited was brimming with the most peculiar statues, some with the head of a dog and the body of a voluptuous woman, others were giant serpants or sleeping lions. All very cool. It wasn't just the angry monkeys or cool statues which interested us, there were also enormous trees, climbing to the sky. Natures skyscrapers. As we left the Monkey Forest we stopped off at the book shop to make a purchase and headed south towards the Floating Temple of Tanahlot.

The cruise down was blazing and quite easy and with Alex's GPS on his phone, it made getting lost challenging. The Temple of Tanahlot was pretty picturesque. Sat atop it's own tiny island on the coast of south Bali a small, but grand looking, Temple with a backdrop of a setting sun and crashing waves. I'm sure it's on many desktop backgrounds across the globe. We stayed for a bit amongst the the many asian tourists, haggled a good price for a cool painting and headed to Seminyak, the final stop.

Seminyak is only a stones throw away from Kuta, but has a completely different vibe to it all together. A lot less drunk, australian, teenagers but it is also a bit pricier too. We couldn't find any cheap alley way restaurants in Seminyak, so instead had a good meal at a large restaurant. Unfortunately the delicious meal was somewhat interrupted by the sound of a special group of Australians trying to sing some rock classics (unsuccessfully). It was really quiet in Seminyak that night, but we found a cool bar with a pool table and got chatting to a couple of the bar maids who gave us a couple of games of bowling, a free shot and a game of pool. A good night.

Back to Kuta and we saw the remainder of the girls; Danni, Alice and Rosie. We only had two days until we departed Kuta and in this time we chilled by the pool and had drinks in the evening. We also met a dutch couple, Josh and Caroline and an Ecuadorian lass called Claudia. The final night was spent tasting a local delicacy and enjoying the many wonders of our temple hotel. Our flight to Singapore left at 6:00am meaning we had to leave Kuta at 3:00am to get to the airport. As we said our farewells to the girls for the last time we had the pleasure of meeting two of our favourite new chums; Alice and Louise. We had given them the name of our hotel as a good place to stay, but still found it quite coincidental to bump into them just as we were leaving at stupid o'clock in the morning. We shared stories and chin-wagged for a time and then parted ways after yet another brief encounter, similar to that of our first meeting in Bangkok two months earlier.

A delightful zero hours sleep and we arrived in the glamourous country of Singapore at 9:00am. Unfortunately we had a run iin with the local authorities, Alex to blame yet again (the welsh are trouble makers). During a regulation x-ray of our bags the security gaurd spoted something in Alex's bag-cartridge shells from the guns we had shot in 'nam. This then turned into an hour and a half, laborious exchange of bureacracy with security and airport police. Nothing major, just unnecassary incovienience after no sleep. Still, we made it through and got on the tube to Little India where we ventured towards a hostel called The Inn Crowd, as recommended by Grace. By this point we had travelled nearly 15,000 miles, been to 7 countries and numerous cities. We fell in love with Kuala Lumpur, but Singapore was something else. Glitz, glamour and designer labels - EVERYWHERE. This is how the building work was desgined in the city; If it's not a skyscraper then it's a shopping centre. And if it's not a shopping center, it's a hotel with a boat on the roof. And if it's not a hotel with a boat on the roof (and a casnio in the basement), then it's a man made beach with a 50ft Lion looking over you. Singapore is a very clean and modern city, the underground system is excellent. There appears to be little crime, and no sign of meanacing youths or unsavoury characters lurking in dark places. In fact, they even have several public service posters informing the people of Singapore how to be better citizens, with posters stating words and examples of 'Courage', 'Loyalty', 'Integrity' and 'Fairness'. Quite cheesy but non the less well intended and much better than reading the horror stories you get about society in the big cities in the UK.

At our hostel we bumped in to our two new Sweish friends which we met in Gili Trawangan; Hannah and Elle. We spent the first day walking around the city exploring the hundreds of designer shops (not being able to afford anything) and trying any complementary offers or sitting in the massage chairs, pretending we were interested in purchasing them. I also wanted to waltz up to an Armani store and pretend I was interested in buying a suit. Disappointingly they had no suit section-unbelievable. We enjoyed lunch in the food court by china town and dinner at Kashmir, a delicious restaurant in Little India. Luckily for me I had a friend residing in Singapore, the lovely Leah Phipps. Leah is a fellow Totton girl and after contacting her we arranged to meet for some food and drinks.

Alex and I visited Leah at her place and had a few casual drinks there before Leah treated us to a scrumptious meal in China Town. We then ventured down to the Bay where we chatted for a few hours testing the local beverages. The one problem with Singapore (and it's a pretty big problem) is the cost, boy is it expensive. Very expensive. As Leah is so smashing, she also agreed to take my painting and my komodo ornament back to England as she was heading back home for Christmas. Cheers Leah, you are a star. Saved me a massive postage cost from down under.

An early start brought an abrupt end to the first part of our trip. We departed Singapore at 6:00am and made for Perth, Australia, where we will be spending Christmas with Alex's aunty and her family, the Drings. 'A Tas and Sweed Story - Part One' is now over, and what an amazing first three months it's been. Amazing people, places and memories. The best part is, we're not even half way through our trip yet (sadly this means you're not even half way through the blog yet, you may be regretting being a part of the whole process).

Sweed and I have decided that we will choose ten categories to rate out of 10 for each part of our trip. So here goes...

Part One - South East Asia:

Fun:10
Cost:9
Accomodation:4
Health and Safety:1
Scenery:8
People we met:9
Food:8
Activites:8
Travel:3
Hospitality:5

Total (out of 100): 65

Well that's it folks, the end of South East Asia and for you regular readers I'm sure you'll agree it's been emotional thus far. No more updates untill 2012 (let's hope the world doesn't end too early). We hope you all have an amazing Christmas and New Year, we'll be raving it up in Sydney! Get in.

Signing out,

Tas and Sweed. xxx

Well ello there. It's been way too long since my last update, thinking back to the beginning of Koh Phi Phi seems like a life time ago. Anyhoo, I will give the grey matter a stern test to remember as much as possible. Here goes...

After our trip to Maya Bay ('The Beach', beach) we decided that money (or our lack of) was not going to stop us on this trip. We can always be skint for a few months back in the UK. So we decided to go for it and joined Anton and Debs in doing our 3 day Scuba diving course. PADI Open water to be precise. This consisted of one boring day in a classroom learning the theory and completing tests and a couple of days of diving and diving tests. I can honestly say it was the best decision we've made so far. Scuba diving is incredible. This experience was made even more enjoyable thanks to our instructor, Tom Bobs. A 24 year old welsh guy, who's friends with Kat and Holly (they recommended him to us). Alex, Anton, Debs, Bobs and I got through the laborious theory and had the best time underwater. Reaching depths of up to 18m and seeing turtles, sting rays and even the most poisonous snake on the planet (although it's teeth are rubbish-sad story for the snake). Unfortunately the octopi and leopard sharks Bobs had promised us weren't anywhere to be seen, but we decided to let Bobs off as he was a good lad. Being the losers that we are, Alex, Anton and myself thought it would be highly comical to perform some Karma Sutra type positions whilst underwater. Some of the pics where gems (on facebook for those interested), however one old school dive instructor swam past whilst we were performing an 'act' and he was clearly not impressed. Ah well, we all chuckled - or as well as we could with scuba gear in our mouths. 

The evenings during the 3 days scuba course were moderately chilled as we had early starts and had just spent £260 on the course. We watched a few fire shows, ate some good food at 'Orange'-the best restaurant on the island (this is also where I asked the cook for some spicy food and she yelled "I'll give you f*%$ing spicy!" in a friendly old lady way). Anton and I also had a few more chess games, I'm determined to beat him one day. On the day of the final exam we all passed with flying colours, typically Alex got all the answers right. I got one wrong, and Anton (remember he's the A level science teacher) got 3 wrong and one of which was a question on light refraction, tut tut tut. As soon as we had finished our last dives Bobs said we could hang off the back of the boat on the way home. This seemed like a cool idea but in reality it was really difficult as it took all of your strength to hold on to the ladder whilst getting dragged through the ocean with water in your face. Anton's shorts came down slightly and everyone saw his bum. Fun times. We finished our paper work back at the Moskito dive centre and headed to the pier to get a boat to Railay on Krabi, west Thailand. 

Now I'm going to try and paint you a picture. We left Koh Phi Phi on a delightful boat, sun shining and all the rest. We all instantly fell asleep as we were pooped from diving. When we woke up approaching Railay it wasn't a sun kissed sky. In fact I can only describe it as a scene from the film 'A Perfect Storm' (was anyone else disappointed with that film?). Add to this that Railay had no pier so we had to get off our big boat and on to a tiny boat with all our bags, we were not impressed-especially the girls. It felt like being rescued. I thought it was quite fun. Eventually we found some cheap bungalows to put our heads for the night, had a BBQ and booked in for rock climbing. It's what Railay is renowned for. Alex recommended this as he had heard lots of good reports on Phi Phi. 

It was an early start, Alex, Anton, Ellie, Lilly and myself ventured off towards the intimidating cliffs with our crazy climbing guides. The cliffs were mental. Jagged edges, tiny crevasses, over hangs and about 50 pairs of eyes to increase the peer pressure. I felt this a lot due to my fear of heights. I'll give it to him, Anton was immense. Our instructors set up two lines one about 20m high and the other just over 30m (the top). This was higher than any of other climbing companies' ropes. Anton stepped right up for it. And did it. Did it well, very well. It wasn't easy, towards the top the wall is virtually flat. I'm still not sure how he did it. But he did. My hat was off. Alex stepped upto the 20m rope and did it with no problems. Flying the flag for Wales. Lilly, well I was gob smacked. She was keen, she was good. Unbelievably good. She did the big one, dare I say it, quicker than Anton. I went for the 20m and I was fine. The looking down at my feet thing wasn't great but I made simple work of it. Alex and I did another one of similar height with some cool over hangs. We were basically pros now. Alex really wanted to give the biggy a shot. He did massively well considering he had been climbing all day and his arms must've been empty and just fell short of the top. He took my camera and got some cool pics though. Now Ellie, full of enthusiasm but it's safe to say spiderman's job is safe. I'm not sure what Ellies target was for today, but if it was to reach 3m then she just about managed it. Well done Elanor. 

That night we all booked our boat to Koh Pangang for the following morning and headed on out to watch a fire show, watch Liverpool draw with Swansea and have some drinks. A good night. A lot of laughs. An American girl and some Geordie lads. Debs got friendly with a guy who I swore I've seen on the Jackamo adverts. Sorry Debs. 

As I'm probably the most sensible person I know it will come as no surprise to you that it was me who hustled and got everyone up at stupid o'clock to catch our boat. We were all a bit ropey but we made it. It took all day to drive across Thailand and I can honestly say it was the worst minibus ever. All 14 seats were filled and the luggage was basically resting on mine and Anton's necks at the back of the bus. Moreover we had to listen to 5 of the biggest guys from Sweden and Israel talking pretty loudly the whole way. The were also extremely arrogant and rude to the locals which really upset us. Eventually we made it the east coast and hopped aboard the ferry to Koh Pangang aka Full Moon island. 

Now people always say it's a small world, like when you bump into someone in town. Or the guy from work is mates with your sisters best mate and so on and so on. But it really is small. Alex and I found two seats next to these two ordinary looking blokes. We sit and try and sleep. Doesn't work. We hear they're English, start talking, and find out they're from southampton. I say "small world". It gets smaller. We chatted about obvious things and part ways at the pier. Fully well never expecting to see these two again. A quick jump forward in time and 10 days later Laura Preece (who you may remember from my first blog entry in Thailand -Brett's Mrs) uploads a photo of that first night on September the 9th of us having drinks. The guy from the boat, Edd, turns out to be Cara's (Laura's lovely friend she was with) x bloke. He comments on the pic and we all bask in the coincidences which life brings.

Now, we decided we couldn't handle 6 nights of Hadrin beach. Party central. So we went north to the gorgeous beach bungalows which are cheap due to location. We chilled for two days. Resting in, playing by the pool and generally charging our batteries. Alex, Anton and I shared a triple room. I shot gunned a double bed to myself and those two had to share. There was definite touching involved. Sorry Becky. As there was little to do, us boys decided to have plenty of pool tournaments and I devised the customary quiz to entertain the group, which ended up giving all the guests something to laugh at. At this point we also befriended Evylin and Daniel. Ev was Swiss and Daniel was Swedish, Daniel would be another new addition to our group at this point. I've made that sound like they were travelling together and we split them up. We didn't, they were both lone soldiers. 

There was one blemish on our stay at Hotel Haad Gurad in northern Pangang. On the morning of our departure, the owner had decided that we would lose our deposit as the company we booked with had told him we were staying 6 nights rather than 2. This erupted in to a heated debate between Alex and the owner. Customer satisfaction is clearly not a priority here. I had made note of mine, Alex and Anton's bill so when it came to checking out there would be no surprises. We were rather worried at receiving the final total due to them trying to shaft us for our deposits. Luckily for us it turns out the creepy English owner either can't add or doesn't mark everything down, as the total bill (including the shafting) was just under what we had calculated our bill to be without them stealing our deposit. We were happy, but still acted angry with the disgusting customer service. Let me point out that if he hadn't tried to steal our deposit we would have happily pointed their mistake out and paid what we rightfully thought. I think they call that 'Karma' in Thailand. We got in our taxi and headed south towards Hadrin, party capital. We're so use to people trying to over charge us and take advantage of us, that when something seems to good to be true, we genuinely believe it is. However on this one occasion we were wrong. A local guy approaches all 8 of us and says he can find us cheap accomadtion in a good location. He would charge us 50 bhat each (quite cheap) to take us there. Admittitdly I had my doubts but he proved me wrong. Sunbeach bungalows were lovely, 5 minutes from town and relatively quiet whilst still being in thick of it. We spent the first day checking out the town and finding our bearings. We ate at a lovely bar which showed movies, Planet of the Apes and Hangover 2, which we both thought were excellent. We were at the bar from lunch time until gone 10:00 casually sipping on Changs, so by the time we left we were all very merry. Alex and I still hadn't seen a proper Thai boxing fight, so we dragged everyone to the Coral Fighting Arena. It was very cool. Some close fights which Alex, Anton and I bet with each other on. I won (about £1). But a wins a win. My favourite fight, which some people didn't agree with, was the two 8year old boys fighting. Personally I have no issue with this. Having fought in national arenas doing judo at the same age I know that it would be an amazing feeling for the kids. Plus, they were in incredible physical condition and were really going for each other. It went to round 3 and the smaller boy knocked the other kid out. The place erupted. That kid must have felt on cloud 9. As the fights ended we headed to the famous pool party at Coral Bungalows. As we arrived I bumped into the lovely Helen who I keep seeing in south east Asia. First in Laos tubing and then in Siem Reap. We chatted for a bit and then we quickly headed back to put our swim gear on. Now the bungalows we were staying at were about 4ft off the ground and with no banester on the balcony. This proved to be a slight health and safety problem (which doesnt exist in south east Asia). As we climbed the concrete steps in the dark, Alex takes a wee tumble and his nose decided to get better acquainted with the step. Alex will argue that the step came off worse but as I had to patch him up I'm not sure I'd agree. He was fine. Cleaned him up, plaster on and put him to bed. His nose takes a lot of damage for his face. It's like how Jupiter protects the inner planets. Don't worry Sue and Becky, he's still beautiful. The rest of us decided to just chill at our bungalows and had a few laughs until the early ours. Although at one point Anton, Ellie and Debs went looking for cigarettes and didn't return. I hit the hay. 

A chilled day at the beach followed, full moon party was the next day and it was getting busy.We found Anton, Ellie and Debs on the beach, at a bar. No sleep yet, they were going to be exhausted. Lots of people. Lots of fun. That night we headed to the beach to get a feel for the big party on full moon. Zoe was on form, dancing about. Harry had a picture which was meant to look like two pigs making pigglets, but it actually looked like a monster sat on what I can best describe as a blob. Sorry Hazza. We retired to our bungalows at a modest 3:00am, tomorrow was going to be a big day. 

The Full Moon party. 

It seems we've been looking forward to this since the day we arrived in South East Asia. I was worried it was going to be like a New Years eve in England. All the hype and it would end in disappointment. It wasn't. Not disappointing at all. We were incredibly fortunate that we had Zoë with us. A plucky 21yr old who's art skills were out of this world. We purchased a whole sack full of UV paint, put in our requests and Zoë went to town on us. Debs had a really cool Packman course, Alex had a beautiful sunset and an incredible Welsh Dragon, Ellie had loads of flowers, Zoë was a giant skeleton, Anton had loads of hand prints and I had tiger stripes all over me. It was Daniels 21st so between Anton and I we painted the Swedish flag and a big birthday cake on his back. Zoë blessed Harry with a twirly pattern and some male genetalia. I think Harry was secretly happy with this. We all headed to the beach, partied it up, bumped into loads of people, threw some water balloons and generally raved the night away. We also bumped into Dan Moon for the first time since Siem Reap. He didn't see us at first but we said hello with a good old fashioned bundle. He appreciated this, no doubt. Now for those of you who know my dearest friend Alex, you'll know doubt be aware that he is prone to falling asleep on nights out. This would be one of them. It must've been around 2:00am and the little welsh one was snoring. In typical fashion I help him over to a quiet(ish) spot and make him comfortable and keep him near. Anton, Harry and I never want to miss an opportunity so we decided to take several pictures with Alex asleep and got the paints out to improve his paint job. Pimp My Ride style. By the time the music had finished we headed up to the bar at the end of the beach to have some shakes and watch the sunrise. Truly magical. I woke Alex up and we spent the next two and half hours in the sea hiding from everyone else. I also spoke to two guys called John and Bob. Americans I think. We didn't head back to the bungalows until mid afternoon. Alex and Anton stayed with Steve Facebook (a cool guy we met) and chilled with some Aussie friends they had made. I say Anton, but it was definitely Notna. 

None of us crawled out of bed until early evening and even though we were all exhausted we were quite sad. This was to be the final night we would see each other before going our different ways. Remember we have spent the best part of two months together, all day, everyday. We have probably got to know these friends better than some of the people back in the UK that we've know for years. We watched a random film and said our goodbyes. It would only be Alex, Debs, Zoë, Ellie and I getting on the boat at 6:00am to Malaysia. Alex and I had got very close to Anton and Harry by this point. It was emotional. However we were due to reunite in Sydney for new years eve, so we had something to look forward to. 

The bus journey to Kuala Lumpur was a monster. 24 hours. We said our last farewell to Debs, Zoë and Ellie half way through the trip. All lovely girls and seeing them for a reunion next summer will be cool. Getting through the border was a mission. Although we passed the time reminiscing about our first two months and I spent a lot of time on my new chess app I downloaded. I will beat Anton in December! We arrived in Kuala Lumpur (KL) bus station at 5:30am. Luckily for us we had planned to stay with my favourite cousin Iman and her other half Rob. Unluckily for them, they now had a very tired me on the phone to them at stupid o'clock on a Sunday morning. We got a taxi to their place, 28th floor up some tower in Bukit Bintang. Iman welcomed us with a sleepy smile and showed us to our room. It felt AMAZING to be somewhere clean, comfortable and with air con. We hit the pillow and were out for the count. Iman and Rob took us to Sunway Lagoon (a water park in KL) with their two friends Eric and Gretchin, Americans. All four of them were involved in teaching in one way or another. The water park was massive, but a lot of ques for not many rides we could go on without paying extra. KL really is something else. The shopping centres (I refuse to say 'mall') are enormous, bigger than anything in the UK. It suddenly felt like this city was a lot more developed than anywhere we have previously been to in South East Asia. That night my amazing cousin cooked a roast dinner for all of us. I got to skype my family which was amazing. We drank some wine and ate lots of cake (thanks Eric and Gretchin). Alex and I were happy with this. We needed to detox. I packed in the cigarettes for good and we were massively reigning in the alcohol. At least for a week. After breakfast, hot showers and clean washing (Iman you are the best) we said yet more farewells and left Iman. For the first time on our trip, Alex and I also said bye to each other. Alex had to go to a phone shop in KL to get his phone repaired whilst I was going to meet Ian Deeth (who was our next host) at his school; Garden International, KL. Ian and I go back quite a few years and he's a top bloke. He met me at lunch, took me back to his place and suited me up in some PE gear. Ian is head of Prulimary PE at his school and seeing as I was in charge of the PE at Blackfield, I was really keen to see what teaching abroad was like. I loved it. An enormous school, with outstanding facilities. Ian and I taught a delightful Year 1 class before I headed back to his extremely swank condo. I must admit, I was quickly falling in love with life in KL. I could definitely see myself teaching here, one day. Still plenty to do at BPS Mrs L. ;-)

That evening Ian took us out to an amazing BBQ restaurant near his place and then to grab some ice cream. We thoroughly enjoyed this. We also loved the storms in KL. They were truly epic. Thunder crashed louder than I had ever heard and lightning lit up the sky line like it was the end of the world. Alex and I thought this was very cool, it made UK storms seem pathetic. We spent the rest of the evening ploughing through Deethy's DVD's. Ian had work all day Tuesday so we chilled by his infinity pool at the condo and chuckled away watching Angry Boys. In the evening Ian had arranged for us to go on a little trip with his taxi driver pal, Mr Cheng. Mr Cheng was a weathered man but full of enthusiasm and he spoke excellent English. For a moderate price Mr Cheng took us to see some extraordinarily friendly monkeys. They sat on our shoulders whilst we fed them and played with them. It was very entertaining. Even more so due the fact that Alex had a monkey sit on his shoulder with pooh on it's bum and he now had lovely pooh staines on his white top. Never wear white, school bog error. The next part of the trip was to go to a sea food restaurant at sunset. A lovely idea but I hate sea food. Anna O if you're reading, I did try prawns and squid but sadly I couldn't stand them. Spicy chicken for me. Alex thoroughly enjoyed it though. To finish our excursion Mr Cheng took us to a special lake where after the sun sets it's lit up by fire flys. This sounded pretty cool when Deethy described it and it was, but I guess we were expecting more. All we saw were a few mangroves which looked like they had flashing fairy lights on them. To entertain ourselves we asked our boat rower if we could row back. We tried and massively failed. Back to Deethy's for some shut eye. 

The following day we were leaving Ian and KL altogether. Our flight was in the evening so we spent the day checking out the KL tower which was similar to the Seattle tower with a revolving restaurant and the Malaysian Two Towers - The Patronas Towers. Three enormous buildings which dominated the ever growing skyline. Pretty spectacular. KL airport was a bit of a nuisance and it was full of very rude people. Still though, no problems on the flight and our next stop was Bali. 

Arriving at Denpasar was a bit of a pain as VisaHQ (the company we had sorted our visas with in the UK) had made a mistake on our visas so we had to purchase another one. That was another £70 down the toilet. Again, we are getting seriously fed up with companies and local businesses screwing us over for our hard saved cash! It's not cricket. Note to anyone travelling, don't buy your visas in advance, it's not worth it and costs you more than double back in UK. Why didn't anyone tell us this?

Eventually we arrived in Kuta at Lusa hotel and checked in. As expected, Holly and Kat's flight was right behind us and they checked in two. It was good seeing them again. The four of us spent the next couple of days/nights exploring the night life, Kuta beach and the hotel pool. There was a very cool club which was actually a massive pirate ship. I thoroughly enjoyed this although this was short lived as this was the club where my camera got stolen. Devastating. We also met two guys from England that Kat knew, Weaver and Andy. Two sound fellas. Hopefully will bump into them again. 

Some people warned us that Kuta was the Australian's version of Ibiza. I could see where they were coming from. Not overly clean and quite seedy, although it was quite modern so catered for all of your needs. After a few days we were ready to leave. Ian recommended that we head to Uluwatu as it was a surfers paradise and we wanted to give it a try. We slightly regretted this decision. Out of all the places we tried to get accommodation no one seemed bothered for our custom. Luckily one place had a room but again, everyone in Pedang Pedang seemed very unwelcoming to us. The waves there were cool but not worth the more expense in travel and higher priced rooms. There was also no shops or cash points (I refuse to say ATM like everyone else) and the surf lessons were more expensive then Kuta beach. We had made another mistake. Again we felt hard done by when our surf lesson consisted of some young guy chat to us for 15 mins and then just watch us try to surf for an hour and a half. No feedback and when I asked him for constructive criticism he made out he couldn't understand. I wasn't happy. The company tried to charge us £20 each for the session but I kicked off as we had one 'teacher' for the two of us. Again there is absolutely no hope in complaining in South East Asia as the language barrier gets in the way. Still, I had fun and will rent a board out again. Being the Bear Grills type of guys that we are, we decided to go for a long trek to the Uluwatu temple. A large temple which is renowned for being over run by monkeys. Now these monkeys weren't the cute friendly type like the ones we saw in KL. They were aggressive, and thieves! They would snatch glasses of your face and flip flops from your feet. In the hour or so we were there we witnessed at least 6 thefts. Comical for us to watch though. Cheeky monkeys. Alex confronted one who was eyeing up my bag and he got snarled at by the monkey who then showed his massive fangs. Time to back off. The sunset there was incredible though and worth the several mile up hill hike. 

That brings us to today, Monday 21/11/2011. We left Pedang Pedang early to head back to a tourist booth in Kuta. From here we got a massively long bus to Pedangbai where we would get a slow boat to Sengiggi, Lombok in the morning. (Note: The Lonely Planet is proving to be a rubbish 'budget' guide book as we have had to find several alternatives in accommodation and travel). 

I write these blog updates on my iPhone so please appreciate the several hours it takes me to type this on a phone. 

Lombok and the Gilli islands for two weeks and then Perth. I'll try to update a bit sooner next time. 

Cheers for reading people. 

All our best, 

Tas and Sweed. 

Xxx 

Okay, I know. I'm rubbish. My plan of a weekly update has gone down the pan. Apologies. 

Right so it's the 29/10/11. We're currently in Koh Phi Phi, which for those of you who don't know, is an island on the west side of southern Thailand. 

Our last blog update ended with us leaving Cambodia and heading to Vietnam. We arrived in Ho Chi Min and it was hectic. A very busy city full of neon lights and mopeds. There are literally no rules on these roads when it comes to driving. Do what you want and just keep an eye out for what's near you. We quickly asked about guns and headed to Cuchi tunnels where there was a firing range. We arrived too late to see the tunnels (my claustrophobia was pleased about this) so headed to the gun show. We first both shot 10 rounds on an M16, then another 10 Carbine and to finish it off we also shot 10 rounds on an AK47 (automatic). This experience was made more fun as Alex and I decided to wear head bands like Rambo, and spoke to each other in American accents. It was expensive for how quick it went, but we loved it and it's another thing knocked off my bucket list (which I'm ticking off like there's no tomorrow by the way). We left Vietnam in the morning and flew to Bangkok, it felt like the first part of our story had come to an end and Northern 'south east Asia' was over. A great start to our adventure. 

Back to Bangkok and the infamous Kao San Road. We felt a lot less naive in comparison to our first visit here. We headed straight for Sawadee House and the tour operator 'Apple' that I had been facebooking recently. She had booked us on to a night bus to head straight for the Chumprong ferry to Koh Tao, where we would meet Anton and Elle. So we had about 6 hours to kill. Sometimes I'm susceptible to the odd impulse decision and this was one of those times. To my dads disgust I went and got my lip pierced. It hurt but not as much blood as I thought. I liked it. We then watched the Frenchies somehow blag their way past Wales in the semis of the Rugby and got chatting to four lovely ladies, Alice, Louise, Jane and Kate. After several random conversations and a few Changs we realised that our bus was leaving in 10 minutes. 

(For those of you who are aware of the dreadful floods in Bangkok, they started on this very night).

As we said our goodbyes to our new chums the heavens opened. I have never seen rain like this before. Our bags were only 2 minutes away but in that time we were utterly drenched. Soaked to the bone. Wetter than wet. Apple found this quite comical and helped rinse some of clothes and delayed the bus for a few minutes. The bus wasn't actually picking us up from this point, so we still had a mission to walk through shin high water with all our stuff. As soon as we got on our luxurious bus, we stripped down to our boxers, wrapped our blankets round ourselves and slept. Sweet. We arrived at the ferry port at stupid o'clock, however we did get to see the sunrise from the beautiful scenery of islands and a calm sea. 

When we arrived in Koh Tao we stayed at Sairee Cottages (as that's where Anton and Ellie were). We found them straight away, the next 2 days were basically a bit of a party as Ellie was dragging out her birthday and relaxing on the beach with the turquoise water I've been aching for. During one of my many lilo drifts along the seafront I was pleasantly surprised to hear my name shouted by a lovely blonde. Scouse Holly who we met on our bowling night in Luang Probang many moons ago. She was travelling with Kat who is just hilarious so we all decided to meet for some food (or 'scran' as Anton would say - northerners) and had several chuckles, dances, fire shows, and many more activities ('copy what ever Anton says' being one of our favourites) which can either not be mentioned or bore you with. 

(Note: Anton had suffered a serious injury just before we arrived, as the previous night he had the genius idea of trying to high jump a fire rope. He was sober for all of you blaming Notna).

After a few days we were also reunited with Zoe and Debs who we hadn't seen since Siam Reep. They had just been to Koh Samui and said it wasn't great. So the Stray Six, plus Kat and Holly decided to go on a boat trip around the island and do some snorkelling. It was pretty sweet. Loads of cool fish, a shark (which I missed) and a fun boat ride in gorgeous weather. 

During our visit to Koh Tao, Alex, Anton, Ellie and I also rented out quad bikes (another thing off my bucket list) and a moped. We spent the day riding through some pretty treacherous roads (if you can call them that) and visiting all the beautiful beaches on the island. Shark bay was really picturesque but we had to walk a bit of it as it was so steep, a pain the arse on the way back!

The rest of Koh Tao was pretty relaxing, chilling at the various bars and restaurants, playing in the sea and shopping. Another impulse moment (and some bullying from Ellie who was bored) resulted in me getting my nipple pierced. Sadly my lip had been causing me some problems and when I woke up covered in blood I decided to have that one removed. 

We ate at our hotel restaurant most afternoons and we'll always remember our Thai waiter, Jack. His dad was the manager, Mr Jack - no joke. 

Anton also taught me how to play chess and we've battling each other ever since. I'll get him one day. We also killed some time one day by attempting another thing on my bucket list. Making a time capsule. I remember doing this at school but I never felt that I was leaving a true reflection of myself or the current situation for future people to find. Moreover, burying it in the school field didn't seem that exciting. This one would be different. I copied out 6 forms for everyone to fill in. All about ourselves from basic info to ambitions, fears, memories, etc. I then added in all of the stupid quotes from Ellie and Debs over the recent past, my journal entry on observing Anton for an hour and a half without him knowing, a list of our favourite bars on Koh Tao, our story of how we all came together and finally our scoring chart of what we thought of each place we visited in Lao. We also thought it would be comical to sketch erotic pictures of each other. We're not the best artists but the outcomes were very amusing. We then asked Mr Jack for an empty Gin bottle, Anton said a blessing in Latin, I dug a hole around a meter deep and we burried it just outside the Sairee Cottage bar on the beach. I hope someone in Koh Tao finds it one day and appreciates the effort (and also facebooks us to let us know it's been found). We left for Phuket on a night boat via Sirytani (sp). The night boat was bizarre. Rows upon rows of narrow mattresses laying next to each other. There must have been 50 of us in one room. Anton and I got chatting to two lovely Irish ladies, Julie and Areana. 

The Stray Six (those of you who followed Lost will appreciate what I've done there) then headed to Phuket Town. We stayed at a cool guest house and went out for dinner and drinks. The Lonely Planet recommended a bar which was also a Law firm (only in Thailand). The owner (Pchong) welcomed us as his only customers and we listened to his incredible stories about his partying youth at full moon parties, rubbing shoulders with the royal family and making Hollywood movies. It's a jazz bar and he let us all have a 'jam'. None of us could play anything but the photo of us looks cool. He then decided to close his bar early and take us on a mini bar crawl with a Brazilian girl who was also in the bar, Christina. By the time we got to a club it was just us lot and I couldn't resist asking the band if I could join them singing a boyzone classic. We also had several slow dances and the boys kept passing the girls around (school disco style). 

When we returned home we met a young German girl, Lilly and we stayed up and chatted with her for a bit. From this point on Lilly decided to tag along as she was on her tod. 

The following day we left Phuket Town which wasn't that exciting and headed for the notorious Patong beach. Phuket is quite expensive for what is essentially a beach, some bars and a whole host of pingpong shows and ladyboys. 

We had fun at the beach and I dug the customary hole which eventually turned into an amazing foot spa (Sasso's spa- I know you're impressed). That night we went out and found a crazy strip of bars. Sydney bar ws cool, we got friendly with the locals and played connect 4, hammer the nail, and danced a lot. The next night was similar to this, thrown in with a rubbish strip club (where Anton and I just talked about teaching and space) and Lilly getting aroused by a stripper feeling her up. All very amusing. There was also an amazing Rock bar belting out some classic Bon Jovi and other awesome tunes. 

The girls decided to head to Koh Phi Phi the next morning and us boys, plus a german girl, decided to head south to Kata for a night. Kata was a lesser version of Phuket. Not as many bars and thankfully no abusive lady boys. I also forgot to mention about our first night in Patong where a lady boy followed us 3lads home down an alley way and tried to feel us up. We found this quite funny at first and although we told her to go away she persisted. The next thing I know she's got one hand feeling me up and the other in my pocket with her hand on wallet. I wasn't impressed. I got rid of her and we made a swift exit. Note to any future travellers; never mess with a local, NEVER!

The beach at Kata was pretty nice, and a glorious day was made even better when i got to tock off my bucket lust again. Magically i found a pair of glasses in the sea. Sunglasses which you can flick up to be normal glasses. We needed a quiet night in Kata so we went to play crazy golf at this awesome dinosaur world. Anton having a handicap should've dominated this event, but sadly for him I won, Lilly came 2nd and poor lil welsh boy came last. 

The trip to Phi Phi was nothing in comparison to what we're use to, a mere few hours. When we arrived it took us a while to find a place for cheap. We set our stuff down and went for a brouse. In the evening we met up with Zoe, Ellie and Debs and also Kat and Holly as they were here too. A VERY fun night was had, involving stage dancing, watching amateur Mui Thai fights and general tomfoolery. 

After little sleep we went on another snorkelling boat trip around the island. The weather wasn't great and it was a very choppy ride. However I didn't care, as after some snorkelling we arrived at 'The Beach'. The one from the film. I had been dreaming of that moment for years. It was beautiful but I can't lie that I wasn't annoyed at the overcast weather. Still it was good. 

So that's it folks. You're up to date. Again I know this is a massive update and quite detailed, but as I've said before-this is for me to remember when I return and not just for you beautiful people back home. 

Take care folks, the next installment will include the Full Moon party. Exciting times.  

Hugs, Tas and Sweed. 

Xxx
 

Hi folks. So we have an early bus ride tomorrow so we'd thought we would update our blog. Looking back I have realised that it hasn't been updated in ages so my memory may be a little hazy. Anyhoo here goes...

After camping in the jungle, we then spent the next week with the same tour group heading through the rural towns of south Laos. Visiting Tad Leuk, Kong Lor, Thakhek, Tad Lo, Pakse and Don Det. It's all a bit hazy but there were a lot of waterfalls, caves, thunderstorms and basic accomadtion. To be honest if we didn't have such a good group this week may have dragged, but we all got on so well it was just a lot of fun. 

It was Faines birthday in Pakse and that was a good night out. Moon Zip-Boing-Bounce was created for Dan Moon and this was a lot of fun (half moon, full moon, total eclipse). I (Tas) went for a massage with Ellie, Anton, Naomi and Zoe as we all felt a bit sore from the bus. My masseur got a little carried away at one point, straddling me. But it felt good so I let it go. 

Don Det, 'home of the 4000 islands' was a disappointment as the rainy season left little to see. So in true tour group style we all sat down to dinner overlooking the Mekong river and deliberated as to where to go next as this was the end of our Laos tour (it turns out Alex and I aren't the only ones with no real plans).

This evolved in to some fairwell games and we even created an evaluation sheet for our tour guide Vinay. Our evaluation form was a lot funnier than his. This night also ended in Debbie being spit roasted by Vinay and The Moon (charades). 

It took 18 hours to get from Don Det to Siem Reap, the worst border crossing ever (if you can call it that). They left 6 of us waiting for 4 hours. Luckily the deprived children were highly entertained by us and Alex's impressive Yo Yo skills.

Siem Reap was a really cool place and we all instantly liked it due to the clean rooms, warm showers and a swimming pool! We were all craving the sea but this was a good replacement. For the first night it was only Alex, Ellie, Harry The Moon and I. The whole town was badly flooded and some streets the water was above knee level. Quite exciting in a tuk tuk. 

Siem Reap is famous for the Temples of Angkor, the whole country is so proud of this monument that it's on everything. Clothes, beer and even on their national flag. The temples are ENORMOUS. There's literally too many to see. Our nice tuk tuk driver (Pot) took Alex, Harry, Ellie and I around for the day (you can also do a 3day or a week tour if you wanted). It's amazing to think that these giant buildings were constructed over 800 years ago. Some of the steps on these temples are stupidly narrow, steep and almost vertical. Harry had the amazing idea to climb the steps whilst playing the rocky music, so we did and this made it enjoyable. However once at the top climbing down was drastically more difficult and dangerous and we basically went down a step at a time on our bums. For the rest of our amusent, in his excitement Harry left his bag at the top of the temple and had to climb and descend again all on his own. He did a great job. Our favourite temple was the one where Tomb Raider was filmed. It was so old that trees had actually grown through cracks in the bricks and were 100's of feet tall. Their roots climbed over the temple and it looked incredible. We will post pictures when we get to OZ as the Internet is way too slow out here. 

By that night Zoe, Debs and Anton had met us from their day at Pnom Pen. I won't bore you with the details but there was plenty of haggling at the markets, fun at the club 'Angkor-What?!', dancing in the rain with street selling kids and skinny dipping in the hotel pool at stupid o'clock waking up the hotel. Our little group has left quite a trail where we've been. 

Another highlight of Siem Reap was the many drunken appearances of Notna (Anton's alter ego when drunk). Lots of nakedness and Notna slagging off Anton (himself). He then gets thrown out the club and gives a tuk tuk driver $100 dollars to take him home. Tuk tuks usually cost $2. Luckiest guy in the world! Although Anton did find this driver the next night and instead of taking him home at 3:30 the driver took him for an all night bender at a Cambodian club paying for his drinks. Karma, a quite sweet story i think. 

Alex and I still have a lot to fit in before OZ so we decided to hop on a sleeper bus and go to Sihanoukville. A beach! Whoop. We arrived at our guest house Monkey Republic at stupid o'clock and had a little nap. At breakfast we got chatting to some guys, a Canadian called Hayden, an Israeli called Asaf, and two Scots named Blair and James. They had been there a while and knew of a secluded beach so we went there. Perfect. Stayed there all day with some beer and watched the sunset. We also met two pretty ladies, Janet (the best story teller ever) and Alice (who was struggling with a monster hangover-kids). Apart from the beach, Sihanoukville is basically a small party town. This suited us fine. At dinner we got chatting to two girls from Manchester, Viki and Laura. They were both sound and up for a giggle and we all had a great night at the two main bars, Jams and JJ's. 

Harry and Anton arrived the next day and we pretty much did the same. There were a lot of the street seller kids around us today. They're all very nice but obviously needed our business. We all bought bands, massages etc, Anton and I had manicures as they told us our hands were disgusting. Jenny then offered me a massage and painted my nails with smiley and sad faces, Alex had a similar job and every Cambodian we meet now thinks we're lady boys. Get in. We also played with these kids for hours, they were obviously desperate to have some fun. As always we loved it. On a serious note, seeing how the children live in South East Asia has been one of the most difficult things to see. If anyone from school is reading this then tell those kids how lucky they are. Whitty, funny, intelligent children will sadly never see beyond their village or reach their potential.

This was another night for Notna, I won't go into too much detail but it was his most eventful night yet. I'm actually worried we're giving Anton psychiatric problems because Notna does not like Anton. 

Although we could've stayed another night we decided to move on as we still wanted to do Pnom Pen and 'nam before the Thai islands. 

So we arrived in Pnom Pen on Wenesday the 12th. It's a dive. Busy, smelly, seedy and probably our least favourite place so far, but we knew why we were here. To see the genocide museum and killing fields from when Pol Pot destroyed a nation only 36 years ago. 

The lovely Alice gave me the number of a cool tuk tuk driver who took her and Janet round for the day. His name was Therea. A really lovely guy who was fun and informative (he did live through this terrible ordeal). 

The genocide museum was difficult to see. Tens of thousands of people had been brutally tortured and murdered in the very rooms we were stood in. A humbling experience. The photos were difficult to look at, the stories from our guide even harder to hear. Non the less, incredibly interesting. How did this inhumanity take place only 35 years ago?! Therea then sat us in his tuk tuk and told us his story from what he remembers. Being split from his family, starved, nearly murdered. He was a really good guy who had been through a lot. He then took us to one of the 100's of killing fields. This is where they brought men, women and children of all ages to be murdered and pile them up in mass graves. The tree which they used to smash live babies faces against to kill them was particularly hard to see and listen to on our audio headset tour. As this happened up to 1979 the clothes and bones of these innocent people were still there to see. 

ANYWAY, that's the most serious and down I've been for a while, so to cheers us up Therea let Alex and I drive his tuk tuk!! Awesome I tell ya! So much fun. For those of you who have been to South East Asia, you can imagine how rewarding it felt driving past a driver and offering him 'tuk tuk' for $20. He declined. I laughed. 

We then spent the day doing admin stuff. Buying some bits and booking some flights. Tomorrow morning we leave Pnom Pen (thank Budha) and head to Ho Chi Minh/Saigon (Vietnam). We're only staying a night as all we want to do is shoot some guns in 'nam. I hope they sell some t-shirts saying "When I was in 'nam!". Then we fly to Bangkok on Sat morning. Should hopefully be on a white beach in South Thailand by Sunday morning. 

Peace and love people. 

Tas and Sweed. 

Thursday 13/10/11 

From Evernote:
Blog
Not sure which day of our trip it was (can't be bothered to work to out) but we left Chiang Mai on Tuesday 20/09/11 for Laos. On our bus we met some new people. Our tour guide was named One, from Israel, Harry and Dan Moon. Both from England similar ages and attitude so that was a touch. There was also a girl named Naomi from England on her own and she was nice too. 

In a nutshell we stayed at the border and then travelled across and met 3more people on our tour, Nick and Anton, from the Uk and Mark from NZ. All top lads and we had a great crack hiring bikes and riding up a pretty big hill where there was an amazing lookout point and a temple. Alex and I went in the temple and got blessed by a monk guy. Very strange, but pretty cool. Although we had no idea what he was saying so for all we know he may have cursed us! That evening we all played shit head and got pretty well acquired with local beer Lao. Later on One took us to a Chinese Disco. Not really sure what we were expecting but we arrived and it was full of VERY young people. Like teenagers, it could've been nappy night in fact. Nevertheless we got on the empty dance floor and got the place going with some dance offs and invisiball (if you know Invisiball, then you'll appreciate it).

The next day was travelling again, the roads were as windy as a spring and were bumpier then a 14yr olds face. That night we stayed in a small village in the mountains in huts with hammocks. After dinner we went to play boules, which is the Laos national sport. Alex and I were up first and beat two local people. It was pretty epic and we expect a call from the national team in no time. 

Nick was also pretty handy with his feather duster hands (very delicate). "floats like a tennis racket and stings like a feather duster" was the chant. 'twas funny at the time. 

Our next destination was Luang Probanh, the former capital and a relatively large city in comparison to other places we stayed in Laos. We had to get a slow boat there down the Mekong river. It was about 6hours but it was amazing. Unbelievable scenary, boiling sun. I asked the captain if I (Tas) could drive for a while and he obliged, much to the dismay of the rest of the group. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty amazing and I'm now happy I can add 'long boat captain' to my CV. 

Luang Probang was very cool, Alex and I got a tuk tuk up to the famous waterfall. It was huge and as it had rained heavily recently, it was very powerful too. As we walked towards the waterfall a tree fell and nearly hit us. Pretty scary. 

That evening Alex, Nick, Mark and I went to a bar called Utopia. I think Carelsberg made it as it was probably the coolest bar I've been to. We had a few drinks and then the rest of the group came to meet us. By this point there was quite a few of us as another tour guide came along. Vinay from NZ. Cool guy. 

The bar was so chilled out with floor cushions and shishas by the river front, a very morrocon vibe to it. The best bit was the beach volleyball court they also had. We were obviously very keen. Alex and I teamed up with man giant Nick and were undefeated. We were good. After sweating like George W when questioned about 911, we started chatting to a group of Scouse girls and a yank. Kat, Holly and Tammy. We all got carried away and decided to go midnight bowling at the infamous bowling alley. It was good fun. I won the first game, Mark won the second by one pin. I fell to the ground in despair and was duly bundled by everyone. Ouch. 

The following morning we had to be up at 6:30 to go to Vang Vien. We had only had 2 and a half hours sleep. We were all pretty disgusting. Mark and Anton stayed at Luang Prabang for a fee days. Our bus came with 4 extra people, two couples from Manchester; Greg and Karly and Pete and Fae. They were all pretty sound and we all got on it when we arrived in VV. As the crowd thinned out, Harry, Nick and myself decided we'd carry o with the fun and went to a club and then a late night bar which we had to ourselves. The owner was this Lao guy called JD and he decided to give us limitless amounts of free shots of whisky and a taser. A lot fun and shocking each other. Good times. 

That was our last night with Nick as he was getting on the bus in the morning and we stopped in VV for 4 days. 

TUBING:

For those who don't know what tubing is, it's where people hire large tyre inner tubes and float down the Mekong river, every so often there are bars on the river bank and little Lao guys throw you ropes and pull you in. The bars are MENTAL. Everyone is partying hard, dancing and flipping in to the river. The epic 'americano dance' happened frequently. 

Tubing is renowned for being dangerous and you have to sign a disclaimer before doing it. This year so far 13 people have already died through a mixture of poor jumps, branches catching you under the water and generally being too drunk and drowning. 

Basically I wasn't great at tubing, lost my flip flops, Alex lost his glasses and I missed a lot of ropes. On reflection we probably stayed a bit too long and by the time we left the last bar to float back it was dark. Stupidly I lost the group and ended up in a panic somewhere on the Mekong river. Luckily a fisherman eventually shined a torch at me and gave me a ride back to civilisation. I owe him. 

The party continued into the night and I met some of the workers from the tubings bars and after the group went their separate ways I stayed with them, the only name on memory is Aerish, but they were all a good crack. 

We decided to wait for the Stray Tour bus to arrive so Mark and Anton could come tubing with us. They also brought two new faces with them, Myrthe from holland and Ellie from Uk. Both were cool and were game for a giggle (Although I don't think Myrthe wasn't in the Vang Vieng 'partying' mentality). Alex, Harry, Dan and I decided we'd save some money by not hiring tubes today and would just swim across. This sounds like a stupid plan but in the end we ended up hanging on to the backs of other people's rings and kicking across. Much easier. Altho my driver, Anton lost my flip flops. Bloody northerners. 

We still had a good crack but made sure we were a bit quicker getting to the bars this time, and instead of floating back we thought it would be safer to get a tuk tuk. Again after a day of tubing we carried straight on with the drinking whilst at dinner and then pulled out Ring Of Fire whilst Q Bar (the main club). A great game for getting to know someone and all the international drinking rules were in force, including Green man, Grenade master, and Gheko (If someone shouts Gheko you all have to run and stick to a wall like a Ghekko). When there was about 15 of us ( a couple more brit girls joined us, Stef and... Friend??-cant remember them all) this got pretty boisterous and we definitely received a few bewildered looks. 

As the game subsided and some folks headed back we were able to get to know each other more and I got chatting to Ellie for a while and she was really sound, tidy too. Travelling on her tod as her sister had broke her foot just before they were due to flight. Poor lass. 

We all left VV the next day and headed to the capital, Vientianne. Everyone was Hanging! We decided to inject some culture in to the trip so One took us to some caves, a lagoon (where Harry got told off for going in nude) and seeing some monuments in the capital. Nothing to tell the grandkids about there though.

Everyone needed to chill for a bit but I had to hand wash my clothes in a bucket as no laundrettes could wash them quick enough as we were leaving in the morning. Not happy. 

In the eve we all went for dinner, at this point Vinay rocked up with 3more girls were joining our tour, 3brits, Lynn, Debs and Zoe. Spent a while chatting to Debs and we got on real well, this was to be our group for the rest of Laos and it was a good one (the biggest theyve ever had apparently) and with Vinay as our guide. Although Mark would leave us to go home at Vientianne as hid trip is over. We shall see you in NZ Mark. Legend. In fact the whole group is pretty darn swell. A lot of peeps went back the hotel, but some of us stayed out as it Marks last night and with more new faces it was probably good for the group to get to know each other further. 

Another bumpy journey. Thursday 29/09/11, just completed a 3 hour drive to the jungle where we're camping for the night. Not a great deal to do, although there was an enormous waterfall but it was too strong to get near to. So all 15 of us when for a dip in the river in the blazing sun. It was sweet. A sand building competition also crept it's way in to the equation. Mine was pretty terrific, it had a working chimney and everything (don't act like you're not impressed. When we had had enough of the lake Alex and I taught the group Hebe and other games. Dinner was a mixture of kebabs and then we all broke out Ring Of Fire (ROF). Then entered Drunk Anton. I love this guy, he would literally do anything. I won't go into specifics but it was hilarious and trying to put him to bed was impossible. Not many people slept well. Can't wait to see the boy again ;-) 

Everyone was hanging in the morning, Harry, Anton and I decided to shower in the lake over looking the waterfall. Not a bad way to start the day. 

Right that's it, I've had enough of boring you all now, this blogs as much for Sweed and I to remember everything and everyone as it is for you to follow us. So sorry if it's dragged. Well done if you made it to the end. 

Speak soon folks. 

Tas and Sweed. 

xxx :-D 

We took a night bus on Monday night to Chaingmai and arrived at 5am, the bus ride and a taxi to our hostel cost about a tenner and we has almost a whole coach to ourselves. Slept in til late then got up for our first night out in Chaingmai! We were supposed to be going trekking on the Wednesday (14th Sept) morning but ended up sleeping in (Alex was hungover - the first of many). Finally left for the jungle at 9am Thursday morning. Met up with our group - Elliot, Basti, Yan, Kacia, Katherine, David, Yana, Sandra and Nicolette. Real international mix of people. Our guide was called Tchart (pronounced Chad, Chard, Chart and Shart), and he turned out to be a legend!

Jungle Trek
Day 1 - We got dropped off in the middle of the jungle, huge trees and hills for miles around. We hiked for about 2 hours through rough terrain before coming into a village and finding our Elephant Camp - Jumbo Elephant Camp. We watched the guys saddle up the elephants and got on board. Tas and I were allowed to sit on the elephants head, good but hard to hold on. We had the big male elephant who was a bit of a renegade but we had him under control with the occasional banna in his trunk. After everyone had been for a ride we got to know the group a little better through a friendly game of ring of fire. Tchart picked it up extremely well. Spent the night in a hut on the hill, amazing views. Both of us and Yan thought it would be a great idea to go for a midnight hike in the jungle (we were drunk). We snuck over to where the elephants were, started to stroke them and tried to get them to kneel down so we could get on, they wouldn't. We were rewarded for our stupidity by having elephant pooh all over our feet. Yummy.

Day 2 - Got woken up at 9 and had toast and eggs for breakfast. Caught a ride further into the jungle and started hiking to a waterfall. The waterfall provided our first jungle shower, Tas stacked it into Elliot and hit his face on a rock, classic, couldn't stop laughing (this really hurt and Sweed just laughed, cheers mate). After a swim we headed off up the hills, seeing huge spiders, frogs, lizards, butterflies and locusts along the way. Another 2 hour trek, up a steep mountain found us in Lahu village (not sure if that's the tribe, village or people, I think the actual people are called the Lahu). The village was cool, right on top of the mountain in the middle of the jungle, we were surrounded by clouds and trees and could see other villages on other peaks around. In the night we sat around a fire and the local girls (around 4 to 9 years old) danced and sang for us. Then they taught us some dances and Tas and I taught them the Macarana. Spent the night in another bamboo hut. These kids were very cute but cheeky as they come, and tried to teach me a card game which they inevitably whooped me at (I swear kids just make me(Tas) look a prat all the time).

Day 3 - Another 9am start for breakfast. The next two hours were spent walking down the hill on a very very steep and muddy face. Apparently if it rains you can't stand so we were lucky. At the bottom was another waterfall, only this time huge, about 60ft. We went for another swim before starting our next trek along the river. About an hour later we arrived at our rafting camp. Once we were all kitted up we got in our raft and started on down the river. Some big rapids but nothing major, not that I have anything to judge it against. After that it was lunch time, Tchart let me tuck into his meal which consisted of a fish curry, chicken curry and spicy soup, with sticky rice! We just ripped off huge chunks of rice and used it to eat the curry, very nice. Our last stop was the longnecks. Slightly disappointing, it seems that 7 different tribes set up shop in this little 'village' and sell tat to tourists. They were happy to pose for photos.

On arriving back in Chaingmai we chilled before heading out for the night. We met up with Elliot again and went to a collection of bars by our hostel. Good night. Today we've pretty much done nothing and are sat in a bar having just eaten. Heading to Laos on Tuesday. Should be good. See you later folks.

Tas and Sweed xxx

1st night: Get ripped off at the airport by a taxi company, meet up with Laura Preece (Brett's Mrs) and her mates, Sweed points out how a lady boy has a massive adams apple and large jaw-gets shouted at by said lady boy. Tas gets whipped by an 7yr girl at thumb wars and slaps.
Dat 2: over sleep due to jet lag. get our feet eaten by fish get caught in an enormous storm, go to a 'ping pong show' (I wanted to see table tennis - defo wasn't).

tomorrow, floating markets-for the next week we'll be in a jungle, John Locke style. Speak soon fokks xxxxxxxxxx